Aug 13, 2008 08:36
My brother turned 15 yesterday... God, I'm getting old.
Been basically living at the doctor's office and Radiology Center... and still have no answers. It's really frustrating me. I'm tired of being in pain, not being able to sleep, and living off of vegetables and fruit and crackers. Had another test done yesterday that took forever and was horrendous. I would never wish it on anyone. Got put on a new medication as well so I will be headed back to the doc in 2 weeks to see what the test showed and if the medication has helped at all. I do not want to be on this medication long term... you can not get pregnant because it can cause severe birth defects and I don't believe in birth control. As much as I want relief, I'm hoping the medicine does nothing to help me. I don't plan on having another baby ANY time soon, but things happen. If the test doesn't come back positive then he's sending me to a specialist because he has run out of ideas of what it could be. The only good that has come out of this so far is that I know my kidneys, gallbladdder, spleen, pancreas and liver are all functioning normally.
Planning Tay's birthday party... I had decided wasnt going to stress about it until the 2 major things I had already done for the party had been screwed up royally. I need to re-make and re-order new invitations today. And let's just hope the moon bounce arrives on the correct day.
I feel like I'm slowly loosing myself. I'm mommy and wife... that's all. I want to be a friend. I want to be a 21 year old and enjoy my life. The past keeps haunting my dreams and I miss it. I just want one night to go back to it all and find the real me.
___________________________________________________________________________
101 sale this weekend with Ash I hope! I need to get out again.