depression strikes back
I'm stuck. You know you're in a rut when most of your decisions are based on a flip of a coin. I've stopped analyzing things because I know that all my decisions are wrong, and agonizing over them would be futile. And now, I'm in a place where all I can do is move forward. Push myself away from this situation I've grown comfortable with. It would hurt. It would take lots of tears and pain. It can even cause me to lose the one thing I've loved for the past year. But I feel the pressure of loneliness upon me. All the time. I don't think the thing that anchored me here is really worthit. And that is the saddest part of all.
I've always been afraid that it only exist here within these four walls. And now, I have to face that fear. I've grown weaker than I expected. Things got out of hand. I should have done a lot of different things. But regret is not a part of who I am. And I know that after all these depression passed, I would look back and be greatful of each and every single thing.
How did it came to be that I'm always the one loving more? When in my life have I decided that I would love with every strength that I could give?
Welcome back to my world.