(no subject)
sometimes I wonder where i would go. When I leave, will anyone notice? would my parents care?
how can I get far enough away from them that I don't have to be afraid anymore... how far is that, really?
will my friends remember me as that one girl who was loud? will you remember me? will they look back and wonder why I did this? will you look back? will you tell your friends about me... "i had a friend who killed herself."
my suicide note would say this: "dear mom and dad. fuck you, you did this to me, and I hope you burn in hell for all of eternity for treating me so badly that this was my only escape. you fucked up and it's all your fault. love, megan."
my suicide note would say this: "dear you. I love you. sometimes, you made me sad, but it all went away when I talked to you next. I wish I didn't have to do this, I wish I didn't have to leave your side, but I have to. I can't stand this anymore."
my suicide note would say this: "dear all the rest of you. just pick through my stuff. take a shirt, a trinket. whatever. just don't forget me in death like you did in life."
my suicide note would say this: "sorry I bled on your floor, mom."
sometimes I miss not having to hide my arms from people who I know would be mad. sometimes I wish those people were my parents. sometimes I wish that when I cry, i know why. sometimes.
i like my blood. the redness of it. the wetness on my skin. The contrast of my arm and my flesh, the stinging smell it leaves in the back of my throat. i like my blood.
how can I get far enough away from them that I don't have to be afraid anymore... how far is that, really?
will my friends remember me as that one girl who was loud? will you remember me? will they look back and wonder why I did this? will you look back? will you tell your friends about me... "i had a friend who killed herself."
my suicide note would say this: "dear mom and dad. fuck you, you did this to me, and I hope you burn in hell for all of eternity for treating me so badly that this was my only escape. you fucked up and it's all your fault. love, megan."
my suicide note would say this: "dear you. I love you. sometimes, you made me sad, but it all went away when I talked to you next. I wish I didn't have to do this, I wish I didn't have to leave your side, but I have to. I can't stand this anymore."
my suicide note would say this: "dear all the rest of you. just pick through my stuff. take a shirt, a trinket. whatever. just don't forget me in death like you did in life."
my suicide note would say this: "sorry I bled on your floor, mom."
sometimes I miss not having to hide my arms from people who I know would be mad. sometimes I wish those people were my parents. sometimes I wish that when I cry, i know why. sometimes.
i like my blood. the redness of it. the wetness on my skin. The contrast of my arm and my flesh, the stinging smell it leaves in the back of my throat. i like my blood.