(no subject)
Please remind me to blog regularly before I go insane.
Getting down to reality through fantasy. I would like to think that at the age of 23, I can somehow get a better grip on things. But that's not happening. We enjoy repeating.
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
This is the insanity of sane people.
At the moment, I am deluged with work and I am slipping.
So I need to pause instead of repeating the same old rituals and write a bit. What kind of 23 year old do I actually want to be? I mean, I know what I want to escape from - repetition, failure, disorganisation, obsession - yadda yadda. But who I do want to be? In positive terms?
I want to be able to write six or more articles tonight without a lot of distractions. I want to be a writer in the way you see writers on television or books or god knows whatever - those who can actually just sit down, not look up from a screen and write. I want to be someone who actually can sit somewhere for longer than 20 minutes and not freak out or have finger spasms that make me repeat the same online actions. I want to be able to do what, for goodness, *I* in the most Cartesian sense of the word actually want to do.
And, I know what I have to do to achieve this. I know the perfect conditions. I sit down, straight back, in my room - COMPLETE silence - no music, no unnecessary open browsers. Just write. And hasn't this, in so many ways, always been the problem?
Getting down to reality through fantasy. I would like to think that at the age of 23, I can somehow get a better grip on things. But that's not happening. We enjoy repeating.
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
This is the insanity of sane people.
At the moment, I am deluged with work and I am slipping.
So I need to pause instead of repeating the same old rituals and write a bit. What kind of 23 year old do I actually want to be? I mean, I know what I want to escape from - repetition, failure, disorganisation, obsession - yadda yadda. But who I do want to be? In positive terms?
I want to be able to write six or more articles tonight without a lot of distractions. I want to be a writer in the way you see writers on television or books or god knows whatever - those who can actually just sit down, not look up from a screen and write. I want to be someone who actually can sit somewhere for longer than 20 minutes and not freak out or have finger spasms that make me repeat the same online actions. I want to be able to do what, for goodness, *I* in the most Cartesian sense of the word actually want to do.
And, I know what I have to do to achieve this. I know the perfect conditions. I sit down, straight back, in my room - COMPLETE silence - no music, no unnecessary open browsers. Just write. And hasn't this, in so many ways, always been the problem?