king of running
If home is where the heart is then it makes sense why I don't know where heart is lately if I can't figure out where home truly is.
I'm floating.........
I'm almost completely moved out of my cute apartment in the Avenues with Natalie. As I was packing, nostalgia seeped into me. I decided to move back to Las Vegas but fate decided other.Now, I currently live in a yellow house with 4 other girl. But I still crave going back to Las Vegas everyday.
I have made clear decisions to move back home but big furniture, the notion of "giving up", my sister being closer,a selected few and a broken belief is keeping me stationed to a place I'd rather not be. I want to go back home to my comfort and I feel it everyday but somehow fate has lead me there in that yellow house. I don't understand why I'm being forced to be somewhere I don't want to be anymore but somehow I'll just talk myself into thinking it's some type of blessing in disguise. Something is keeping me in Salt Lake and I'm yet to find this out.
I'm currently a mess but messes clean up.
My trust in people has been eaten up by drama but I always believe in Karma. And I think I actually watched it unfold right in front of my eyes. The results never look pretty and everyone leaves unsatisfied because nobody likes losing something/someone. I believe drama can be judged only by character. I'm dissapointed in some people but only expectations are the only reason, right? Sigh.
I'm growing up and it's stressful. I think I use to walk my life through on an easy pace but now I'm running full speed to growing up these days and I'm still trying to catch my breath. Money, love, stabilty, comfort are issues I've come to realize are never easy without patience,sacrifrice and fate. I've been on the edge every minute of giving up but I haven't yet and I'm proud of myself. I won't lie though, it's secretly killing me inside but I'm great at disguising this fued between myself.
Last night, I made a last minute decision to come back to Vegas, not for good, for the weekend...
Celebrate my sister's departure from home, to see the people who mean the most to me, to mediate a broken heart, to help me realize what I need/want to do with my upcoming decisions......
And I don't know how i'm going to make it within myself to get back on that plane to go back.....
Prayer is guiding me to where I'm needed. Just everything in between to where I'm supposed to be is a bigger trial than expected.
The truth is, this is the most scattered I've felt, but the most collected.
I don't even know how to make sense of it either.
I'm floating.........
I'm almost completely moved out of my cute apartment in the Avenues with Natalie. As I was packing, nostalgia seeped into me. I decided to move back to Las Vegas but fate decided other.Now, I currently live in a yellow house with 4 other girl. But I still crave going back to Las Vegas everyday.
I have made clear decisions to move back home but big furniture, the notion of "giving up", my sister being closer,a selected few and a broken belief is keeping me stationed to a place I'd rather not be. I want to go back home to my comfort and I feel it everyday but somehow fate has lead me there in that yellow house. I don't understand why I'm being forced to be somewhere I don't want to be anymore but somehow I'll just talk myself into thinking it's some type of blessing in disguise. Something is keeping me in Salt Lake and I'm yet to find this out.
I'm currently a mess but messes clean up.
My trust in people has been eaten up by drama but I always believe in Karma. And I think I actually watched it unfold right in front of my eyes. The results never look pretty and everyone leaves unsatisfied because nobody likes losing something/someone. I believe drama can be judged only by character. I'm dissapointed in some people but only expectations are the only reason, right? Sigh.
I'm growing up and it's stressful. I think I use to walk my life through on an easy pace but now I'm running full speed to growing up these days and I'm still trying to catch my breath. Money, love, stabilty, comfort are issues I've come to realize are never easy without patience,sacrifrice and fate. I've been on the edge every minute of giving up but I haven't yet and I'm proud of myself. I won't lie though, it's secretly killing me inside but I'm great at disguising this fued between myself.
Last night, I made a last minute decision to come back to Vegas, not for good, for the weekend...
Celebrate my sister's departure from home, to see the people who mean the most to me, to mediate a broken heart, to help me realize what I need/want to do with my upcoming decisions......
And I don't know how i'm going to make it within myself to get back on that plane to go back.....
Prayer is guiding me to where I'm needed. Just everything in between to where I'm supposed to be is a bigger trial than expected.
The truth is, this is the most scattered I've felt, but the most collected.
I don't even know how to make sense of it either.