And so it is... just like you said it would be.
Interpol was worth every penny I spent even when it was my last pennies.
UPDATE:
I have so much to update, so many pictures to share but such spared time. I apologize.
I will do all of it soon. But I honestly love all the pictures I am going to post and I hope all of you will too. I am way excited.
Last couple of weekends have been awesome.(Pictures to show for it) But all in all, Life is still shaky.
I have great friends, loving family, and I purchased some of recents greatest technologies, my newest iBOOK and iPOD.
But yet, I wake up every morning feeling like something is missing ("CLICHE"). I feel sad, but yet I am happy.
I haven't considered with all my emotional contradictions, I'm just inarticualte when it comes to describing how I feel about my life right now.
Concluded to a couple of things, though about myself for my recent issues
(1) I am too analytical (THIS for example) (2) I am emotionally unstable. (3) I need to find out if "HOPE" is good or bad,
natalie came down two weekends ago, and it really made my life. No joke. I was pretty down the day before (check last entry) and I realized so much when I was with her. it's weird, it was like an appreciation ot all of the Lord's blessings. I just wish feelings like that, would saturate better. I am always grateful, it's just that for some people, things like that fade and are left to just be taken for granted. People never know what they have.(people like me)
BUt overall, that was such a highlight of my days, when natalie came down and Amy came to hang out. Moving out is finally sinking into reality and I love it.
I've been seeing Chase every other weekend now and every moment with him has been amazing as always. Things are alright and NO were not back together. I don't think that the chance is really there anymore, at least not for a very long time. I think we're both ignoring the issues right now and i don't even know what I want at all anymore. I need to get a better head on my shoulders r and just clear my mind. I feel like i am honestly under some kind of spell... And hope is killing me inside out. Why I see perfection, when it's almost nothing but that. I just don't think he's the same person I fell in love with anymore, yet I still love him. Things have changed and all the things i use to be sure about.. I'm not so sure with anymore. It's funny how the Good Life is the one helping out with my strength this time other than some heart wrenching emo songs from Early November, And how "Someday you will be loved" (DCFC) has been my sleeping anthem. I think inside of me is getting tired crying and allowing myself to be so affected to someone who doesn't even try to make me happy anymore. I just need to face the fact that i am being strung along. He is so use to hurting me that i can feel that he doesn't care anymore. And I am better than that. I know that I have been so loyal to him, And I don't think I should be the only one feeling so lucky, because he had someone great to him. I don't think he will find someone like me and I don't know how long it will take him to realize it, maybe when it's already too late. I do deserve better than to be just someone hanging on to every last moment right? I don't want to feel pathetic anymore. i am tired of feeling small when he use to make me feel so invincible. I don't feel as safe anymore. I've always believed that no boys are worth the tears.. and it's time to face that. I feel so nostalgic, so in love, so morosed...This sucks.
Other than that, I had an amazing time with him and his family camping. i went cliff diving for the first time and it was amazing. I loved every single moment of the trip. I am really glad I got to getaway. I love h is entire family. I really do. I feel like their my family too. They are so good to me and I wish I can show them a better appreciation for everything... (I have a ton of pictures of this mini-vaca as well)
On the other note, I don't know though, not too much. I am still moving up to Salt lake in the beginning of January. (3 months from now!) i am to transfer everything to the University of Utah where I am now majoring into Film/Photography. And I am stoked. I know that when I get there I will be poor and I am actually looking forward to it. Ah, good times are yet to come. As for the three last months I am here, I am going to take my time and appreciate how blessed I am for everything.
So here I go... Goodnight.
Yours truly; Eri King.
UPDATE:
I have so much to update, so many pictures to share but such spared time. I apologize.
I will do all of it soon. But I honestly love all the pictures I am going to post and I hope all of you will too. I am way excited.
Last couple of weekends have been awesome.(Pictures to show for it) But all in all, Life is still shaky.
I have great friends, loving family, and I purchased some of recents greatest technologies, my newest iBOOK and iPOD.
But yet, I wake up every morning feeling like something is missing ("CLICHE"). I feel sad, but yet I am happy.
I haven't considered with all my emotional contradictions, I'm just inarticualte when it comes to describing how I feel about my life right now.
Concluded to a couple of things, though about myself for my recent issues
(1) I am too analytical (THIS for example) (2) I am emotionally unstable. (3) I need to find out if "HOPE" is good or bad,
natalie came down two weekends ago, and it really made my life. No joke. I was pretty down the day before (check last entry) and I realized so much when I was with her. it's weird, it was like an appreciation ot all of the Lord's blessings. I just wish feelings like that, would saturate better. I am always grateful, it's just that for some people, things like that fade and are left to just be taken for granted. People never know what they have.(people like me)
BUt overall, that was such a highlight of my days, when natalie came down and Amy came to hang out. Moving out is finally sinking into reality and I love it.
I've been seeing Chase every other weekend now and every moment with him has been amazing as always. Things are alright and NO were not back together. I don't think that the chance is really there anymore, at least not for a very long time. I think we're both ignoring the issues right now and i don't even know what I want at all anymore. I need to get a better head on my shoulders r and just clear my mind. I feel like i am honestly under some kind of spell... And hope is killing me inside out. Why I see perfection, when it's almost nothing but that. I just don't think he's the same person I fell in love with anymore, yet I still love him. Things have changed and all the things i use to be sure about.. I'm not so sure with anymore. It's funny how the Good Life is the one helping out with my strength this time other than some heart wrenching emo songs from Early November, And how "Someday you will be loved" (DCFC) has been my sleeping anthem. I think inside of me is getting tired crying and allowing myself to be so affected to someone who doesn't even try to make me happy anymore. I just need to face the fact that i am being strung along. He is so use to hurting me that i can feel that he doesn't care anymore. And I am better than that. I know that I have been so loyal to him, And I don't think I should be the only one feeling so lucky, because he had someone great to him. I don't think he will find someone like me and I don't know how long it will take him to realize it, maybe when it's already too late. I do deserve better than to be just someone hanging on to every last moment right? I don't want to feel pathetic anymore. i am tired of feeling small when he use to make me feel so invincible. I don't feel as safe anymore. I've always believed that no boys are worth the tears.. and it's time to face that. I feel so nostalgic, so in love, so morosed...This sucks.
Other than that, I had an amazing time with him and his family camping. i went cliff diving for the first time and it was amazing. I loved every single moment of the trip. I am really glad I got to getaway. I love h is entire family. I really do. I feel like their my family too. They are so good to me and I wish I can show them a better appreciation for everything... (I have a ton of pictures of this mini-vaca as well)
On the other note, I don't know though, not too much. I am still moving up to Salt lake in the beginning of January. (3 months from now!) i am to transfer everything to the University of Utah where I am now majoring into Film/Photography. And I am stoked. I know that when I get there I will be poor and I am actually looking forward to it. Ah, good times are yet to come. As for the three last months I am here, I am going to take my time and appreciate how blessed I am for everything.
So here I go... Goodnight.
Yours truly; Eri King.