Fic: The Crossroads Conundrum, Part 10
Title: The Crossroads Conundrum
Part 10: Sheldon
Author: she_burns1
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,016
Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended
Back to: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel. - Anonymous
Sheldon loved to talk.
Technically speaking.
Once he got started on a subject, especially if it was pertaining to physics, he could go on for what felt like, to many, a millennia. He would start off simple but then be distracted by the intricacies of other facts that arose from the beginning topic. He sometimes liked to think that this was because everything in creation, at its core, branched out to another, like the finite invisible strings that held the universe together.
And this meant, essentially, that everything could be related back to science and, in particular, back to physics.
As such, his conversation with Gloria, in which he told her his ‘story’ was, in no way, short in its' telling. It weaved on from one hour to the next and was occasionally broken by one or the other’s need to use the restroom or to get something to eat or drink and so on.
By the time Sheldon reached the end, the world outside was dark and starless and he half expected Gloria was asleep as, yet again, her eyes were closed. But as he said, “And that’s about it,” she opened her eyes, yet again surprising him.
But then, this seemed to be a specialty of hers. Most people, when confronted with his long winded explanations, quickly grew bored or annoyed or both. But Gloria, for the most part, had been a patient participant to his talking almost to a point that he found troubling.
Sheldon was not used to someone he did not know being so completely patient with him.
In fact, people he did know weren’t even this patient. The closest he could think of was his mother and even she grew weary from time to time. Well, actually, his MeeMaw could usually hold out the longest and, in many ways, the woman before him was quite similar. Not only were the two women most likely close in age, but they both provided him with a surprising lack of discomfort that was unusual.
Well, primarily.
This woman did have a way of making him uncomfortable when she would skewer him with a look, as she did now, one eyebrow raised, “That’s quite a story. Thank you for telling it to me.”
“Well, I didn’t see the harm. Besides, your earlier display of possible latent psychic abilities suggested that if I didn’t tell you the information you might try to extract it from my mind and I imagine that would be unpleasant.”
Gloria chuckled, “You think I can read minds?”
Sheldon didn’t answer.
She shook her head, “Sugar, haven’t you ever heard of intuition?”
“My mother and sister have mentioned it to me, once or twice. My mother says
intuition is God's built in navigation system that maps our twists and turns to carefully point us in the right direction. I personally like to think of it as over inflated hokum.”
“Well, I assure you, I’m neither psychic nor god, I’m just as much flesh and blood as you are.”
Sheldon’s face twitched slightly, “We’re made up of a lot more than that…”
Gloria chuckled, “You know, you’re cute. You remind me of my husband. He has a way of talking, all fast and rambling like a brook, makes me think you two would have a fun time chattin’.”
“Highly unlikely.”
“Ohh,” she almost cooed, “You never know. Life might just surprise you.”
Sheldon didn’t respond and Gloria just kept pegging him with her eyes, as if she could see right through him as she said nonchalantly, “So, how long you been in love with the girl?”
Sheldon blinked owlishly, “I beg your pardon?”
“Penny, sugar, how long?”
Sheldon’s head reared back slightly, eyebrows knitted together, “Penny….Leonard…obviously you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said.”
Gloria waved a hand, “Child, I listened to every word, even the ones I didn’t understand, and all I got from it was that you in love with girl.”
Sheldon scoffed, arms folding, “Do you perhaps require a hearing device?”
Gloria gave him the type of smile that made him shift about his seat and think about apologizing when she spoke again, “You ran away from home.”
“I-”
“You ran away from home and yes, I imagine, you’ve done it before, but not like this. You are the type of individual who hates change, who avoids it at all costs.”
“I-”
She continued to interrupt him, her warm voice sort of melded with a steely tone that brokered no more interruptions, “You follow a strict schedule, you never break it and if you do break it, it is because something very important came up, something involving your career, or,” and she looked at him very pointedly here, “Or something went horribly, horribly wrong. Now, looking at you, listening to you talk, I imagine it’s the latter.”
She looked him up and down, “You haven’t sat straight this entire trip. You fidget and you slouch and you do it in a way that suggests you don’t do that often. I see you back at home, back in that little apartment you told me about, mostly standing tall, straight, proud. You think you’re better than everyone else, you think you’re…what was that word? Homo novo…?”
She shook her head, “Don’t matter, you think you an alpha male. But, much as you’d like to control everything, you don’t. Especially not all the little people below you, scurrying about like ants. Doing such silly, plebian things like falling in love and getting married. And you ignore it for the most part, long as it don’t interfere with what you do, but then, ah, but then-”
Here he spoke, voice tinged with dismay, “Penny.”
“Bingo,” Gloria said, tone soft again, “Imagine she’s always been there, maybe you gave her some thought, maybe you didn’t. Regardless, one day, out of the blue, she surprises you with something you never even conceived of before. Am I right?”
Sheldon sighed tiredly, “Your argument is flimsy and full of holes.”
“Oh? Really? How so? Enlighten me.”
Sheldon licked his lips and hated the fact that he even had to pause before answering, “You suggest that I have some…feelings…for Penny that would be inherently inappropriate considering she is engaged to my best friend. I shall admit some trouble at grasping certain social mores, but this one is quite clear in my mind. Besides, the fact that I am a stronger individual than others and, in point of truth, in this way, have no peers, should not be held against me. “
“You’re stronger?”
Sheldon sniffed loudly, “I have no need for romantic entanglements. They would distract me from my work and I have worked diligently to rise above such a possibility. Not to mention that I am mystified as to why anyone would ever want to be involved in one.”
Gloria raised an eyebrow, “You? Mystified? Really?”
Sheldon, realizing what he had just said, colored slightly, “Not…completely. I could figure out the answer. Surely. Or give you approximated reasons as to why I think people pursue such ridiculous-”
“You look down on love?”
“It’s foolish,” Sheldon returned easily, “And four parts repulsive.”
“Only four?” Gloria retorted with something of a chuckle and Sheldon was about to say more but she waved it off again, “Sugar, you may be a smart man, but you’ve got a blind spot the size of Texas.”
“I hardly see what my birth state has to do with-”
“You in love with the girl,” Gloria repeated, “Now, I’ve always said you can’t tell somebody when they in love, they just know. They know it deep down, eyeballs to entrails, but you….you actually need the telling. And so,” she shrugged simply, “I don’t know, I don’t fear you; I don’t see the need to spare your feelings or thoughts or what-have-yous. So, I’m telling you, you in love with the girl.”
“I am not.”
She took in a deep breath, “Maybe it happened in that instant when you almost kissed. Maybe it happened before then. Maybe it happened after. Maybe…just maybe, it happened the moment you set foot on this train. But at some point, you fell so hard deep in love with the girl that you’re almost smacked dumb with it. It’s made you sorta blind and sorta stupid and I imagine it’s such a new thing to you, you can’t even recognize it.”
Sheldon’s voice was slightly hysterical and slightly angry as he said, “The girl is named Penny.”
“And you love her.”
Sheldon looked away from her, a muscle in his jaw ticking, “You…I’m…we’re at an impasse.”
Gloria smiled, “Didn’t mean to upset you so, not really, ‘s just…love, it’s not a decision, baby. It’s a feeling. I imagine you don’t like feelings, but that’s what it is. You can’t just make up your mind to not ever fall in love. You can’t quantify it, you can’t control it, you can’t even really rise above it.”
She looked at him sagely, “Now you, you’re special. You really could be someone who might’ve never fallen in love. Save for the fact that your roommate couldn’t keep his yapper shut when a pretty girl moved across the hall ages ago. She came into your life, weaved her way in. She became a part of it and a part of you. Could have just stayed a friend, I imagine, but then, then she offered you the possibility, the inkling, of more. And it don’t matter if she’s engaged to be married or not-”
“It does matter,” Sheldon interrupted sharply, “It matters.”
Gloria looked sad as she nodded, “Because she’s marrying your best friend.”
Sheldon didn’t answer and, for once, Gloria said nothing. Silence reigned in the train cab for the first time in hours. It was broken by the sound of a voice over the intercom announcing a stop. Gloria’s eyes twinkled and she rose to her feet. She began collecting her items and Sheldon realized she was leaving. This was her stop.
Gloria was just about to pass him, just about to leave when she handed him a square packet wrapped in parchment paper, a black string tied neatly around it, “Here. You take these.”
Sheldon took the package and looked at her.
Gloria smiled, “I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone and still wanting to be with them, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”
Sheldon didn’t know what to say to that.
“You’re a man of science,” she offered reassuringly, “You’ll know what to do. You’ll figure it out.”
And then she was gone.
The train started moving again and Sheldon looked around the train cab.
No Ben. No Nancy. No Gloria.
He was alone.
Just like he had wanted…
Sheldon carefully unwrapped the package. Inside was a collection of postcards. He flipped each one over, looking at the different images, the blank crispness of their backsides, waiting for words, waiting for something…
Sheldon licked his lips and reached into his bag to pull out a pen. He hesitated over the back of one of the postcards for what felt like an eternity. Finally he began to write.
Part 10: Sheldon
Author: she_burns1
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,016
Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended
Back to: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel. - Anonymous
Sheldon loved to talk.
Technically speaking.
Once he got started on a subject, especially if it was pertaining to physics, he could go on for what felt like, to many, a millennia. He would start off simple but then be distracted by the intricacies of other facts that arose from the beginning topic. He sometimes liked to think that this was because everything in creation, at its core, branched out to another, like the finite invisible strings that held the universe together.
And this meant, essentially, that everything could be related back to science and, in particular, back to physics.
As such, his conversation with Gloria, in which he told her his ‘story’ was, in no way, short in its' telling. It weaved on from one hour to the next and was occasionally broken by one or the other’s need to use the restroom or to get something to eat or drink and so on.
By the time Sheldon reached the end, the world outside was dark and starless and he half expected Gloria was asleep as, yet again, her eyes were closed. But as he said, “And that’s about it,” she opened her eyes, yet again surprising him.
But then, this seemed to be a specialty of hers. Most people, when confronted with his long winded explanations, quickly grew bored or annoyed or both. But Gloria, for the most part, had been a patient participant to his talking almost to a point that he found troubling.
Sheldon was not used to someone he did not know being so completely patient with him.
In fact, people he did know weren’t even this patient. The closest he could think of was his mother and even she grew weary from time to time. Well, actually, his MeeMaw could usually hold out the longest and, in many ways, the woman before him was quite similar. Not only were the two women most likely close in age, but they both provided him with a surprising lack of discomfort that was unusual.
Well, primarily.
This woman did have a way of making him uncomfortable when she would skewer him with a look, as she did now, one eyebrow raised, “That’s quite a story. Thank you for telling it to me.”
“Well, I didn’t see the harm. Besides, your earlier display of possible latent psychic abilities suggested that if I didn’t tell you the information you might try to extract it from my mind and I imagine that would be unpleasant.”
Gloria chuckled, “You think I can read minds?”
Sheldon didn’t answer.
She shook her head, “Sugar, haven’t you ever heard of intuition?”
“My mother and sister have mentioned it to me, once or twice. My mother says
intuition is God's built in navigation system that maps our twists and turns to carefully point us in the right direction. I personally like to think of it as over inflated hokum.”
“Well, I assure you, I’m neither psychic nor god, I’m just as much flesh and blood as you are.”
Sheldon’s face twitched slightly, “We’re made up of a lot more than that…”
Gloria chuckled, “You know, you’re cute. You remind me of my husband. He has a way of talking, all fast and rambling like a brook, makes me think you two would have a fun time chattin’.”
“Highly unlikely.”
“Ohh,” she almost cooed, “You never know. Life might just surprise you.”
Sheldon didn’t respond and Gloria just kept pegging him with her eyes, as if she could see right through him as she said nonchalantly, “So, how long you been in love with the girl?”
Sheldon blinked owlishly, “I beg your pardon?”
“Penny, sugar, how long?”
Sheldon’s head reared back slightly, eyebrows knitted together, “Penny….Leonard…obviously you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said.”
Gloria waved a hand, “Child, I listened to every word, even the ones I didn’t understand, and all I got from it was that you in love with girl.”
Sheldon scoffed, arms folding, “Do you perhaps require a hearing device?”
Gloria gave him the type of smile that made him shift about his seat and think about apologizing when she spoke again, “You ran away from home.”
“I-”
“You ran away from home and yes, I imagine, you’ve done it before, but not like this. You are the type of individual who hates change, who avoids it at all costs.”
“I-”
She continued to interrupt him, her warm voice sort of melded with a steely tone that brokered no more interruptions, “You follow a strict schedule, you never break it and if you do break it, it is because something very important came up, something involving your career, or,” and she looked at him very pointedly here, “Or something went horribly, horribly wrong. Now, looking at you, listening to you talk, I imagine it’s the latter.”
She looked him up and down, “You haven’t sat straight this entire trip. You fidget and you slouch and you do it in a way that suggests you don’t do that often. I see you back at home, back in that little apartment you told me about, mostly standing tall, straight, proud. You think you’re better than everyone else, you think you’re…what was that word? Homo novo…?”
She shook her head, “Don’t matter, you think you an alpha male. But, much as you’d like to control everything, you don’t. Especially not all the little people below you, scurrying about like ants. Doing such silly, plebian things like falling in love and getting married. And you ignore it for the most part, long as it don’t interfere with what you do, but then, ah, but then-”
Here he spoke, voice tinged with dismay, “Penny.”
“Bingo,” Gloria said, tone soft again, “Imagine she’s always been there, maybe you gave her some thought, maybe you didn’t. Regardless, one day, out of the blue, she surprises you with something you never even conceived of before. Am I right?”
Sheldon sighed tiredly, “Your argument is flimsy and full of holes.”
“Oh? Really? How so? Enlighten me.”
Sheldon licked his lips and hated the fact that he even had to pause before answering, “You suggest that I have some…feelings…for Penny that would be inherently inappropriate considering she is engaged to my best friend. I shall admit some trouble at grasping certain social mores, but this one is quite clear in my mind. Besides, the fact that I am a stronger individual than others and, in point of truth, in this way, have no peers, should not be held against me. “
“You’re stronger?”
Sheldon sniffed loudly, “I have no need for romantic entanglements. They would distract me from my work and I have worked diligently to rise above such a possibility. Not to mention that I am mystified as to why anyone would ever want to be involved in one.”
Gloria raised an eyebrow, “You? Mystified? Really?”
Sheldon, realizing what he had just said, colored slightly, “Not…completely. I could figure out the answer. Surely. Or give you approximated reasons as to why I think people pursue such ridiculous-”
“You look down on love?”
“It’s foolish,” Sheldon returned easily, “And four parts repulsive.”
“Only four?” Gloria retorted with something of a chuckle and Sheldon was about to say more but she waved it off again, “Sugar, you may be a smart man, but you’ve got a blind spot the size of Texas.”
“I hardly see what my birth state has to do with-”
“You in love with the girl,” Gloria repeated, “Now, I’ve always said you can’t tell somebody when they in love, they just know. They know it deep down, eyeballs to entrails, but you….you actually need the telling. And so,” she shrugged simply, “I don’t know, I don’t fear you; I don’t see the need to spare your feelings or thoughts or what-have-yous. So, I’m telling you, you in love with the girl.”
“I am not.”
She took in a deep breath, “Maybe it happened in that instant when you almost kissed. Maybe it happened before then. Maybe it happened after. Maybe…just maybe, it happened the moment you set foot on this train. But at some point, you fell so hard deep in love with the girl that you’re almost smacked dumb with it. It’s made you sorta blind and sorta stupid and I imagine it’s such a new thing to you, you can’t even recognize it.”
Sheldon’s voice was slightly hysterical and slightly angry as he said, “The girl is named Penny.”
“And you love her.”
Sheldon looked away from her, a muscle in his jaw ticking, “You…I’m…we’re at an impasse.”
Gloria smiled, “Didn’t mean to upset you so, not really, ‘s just…love, it’s not a decision, baby. It’s a feeling. I imagine you don’t like feelings, but that’s what it is. You can’t just make up your mind to not ever fall in love. You can’t quantify it, you can’t control it, you can’t even really rise above it.”
She looked at him sagely, “Now you, you’re special. You really could be someone who might’ve never fallen in love. Save for the fact that your roommate couldn’t keep his yapper shut when a pretty girl moved across the hall ages ago. She came into your life, weaved her way in. She became a part of it and a part of you. Could have just stayed a friend, I imagine, but then, then she offered you the possibility, the inkling, of more. And it don’t matter if she’s engaged to be married or not-”
“It does matter,” Sheldon interrupted sharply, “It matters.”
Gloria looked sad as she nodded, “Because she’s marrying your best friend.”
Sheldon didn’t answer and, for once, Gloria said nothing. Silence reigned in the train cab for the first time in hours. It was broken by the sound of a voice over the intercom announcing a stop. Gloria’s eyes twinkled and she rose to her feet. She began collecting her items and Sheldon realized she was leaving. This was her stop.
Gloria was just about to pass him, just about to leave when she handed him a square packet wrapped in parchment paper, a black string tied neatly around it, “Here. You take these.”
Sheldon took the package and looked at her.
Gloria smiled, “I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone and still wanting to be with them, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”
Sheldon didn’t know what to say to that.
“You’re a man of science,” she offered reassuringly, “You’ll know what to do. You’ll figure it out.”
And then she was gone.
The train started moving again and Sheldon looked around the train cab.
No Ben. No Nancy. No Gloria.
He was alone.
Just like he had wanted…
Sheldon carefully unwrapped the package. Inside was a collection of postcards. He flipped each one over, looking at the different images, the blank crispness of their backsides, waiting for words, waiting for something…
Sheldon licked his lips and reached into his bag to pull out a pen. He hesitated over the back of one of the postcards for what felt like an eternity. Finally he began to write.