take two
i have never in my life had this much trouble with a computer. befuddled by viruses and inadequate software was nothing. i keep telling myself it has to be me. something i'm doing or not doing or misunderstanding...certainly not some malevolent form the bastards that worked on this bitch instilled into the motherboard or the hds or the graphics cards or all those funny little wires. no. the computer doesn't have it out for me. the idea of inadequacy is flitting through my brain which, in a computer environment, devestates me. i can't...i can't download and install programs. it...blocks them. even after turning off the firewall and fucking with the settings. i'm sure there's another one here somewhere. but i can't find it. it's not in the security settings. i don't...know...how to..where it..i can't download programs. i can't run the irc that i installed from cd. it freezes and locks the machine up. the fucking thing STUDDERS when i'm surfing. i..i... *takes a breath* i can't find a place that works on hondas. around here. that i don't have to roll the car onto the freeway for. there's a "troy honda" which sounds more like a dealership than a repair center and they didn't have a site listed on my searchy result list. i ate some cheekon 'n stars sewp and that made me feel rather iffy and then i got hit with a vile mixture of incense and pot smoke in the hallway on my way out to attempt to find my car's user manual which lo and behold is not in the car. which means i brought it in and it's in this .. room. somewhere. i'm sick of fucking gatorade but i don't trust my stomach to hold down any other kind of beverage. i'm frustrated. i'm angry. i'm thinking about shooting the neighbor's cat through their window. just to do it. 3-4-5 hrs before blewz gets home. am i going to survive that? i feel like crying. i'm tired of being fucking overemotional. i'm very angry. if i knew where it was that he took this FUCKING thing to i'd look them up and call them and make them sit on the phone with me until it worked to my satisfaction.