(no subject)
Well,
tonight shuold be interesting.
Today was the best day of work ever. Not only did the District Manager pretend to kick me and say "You watch yourself" and smile, but my boyfriend brought me lilacs, infront of everyone, my favorite flower.
He's absolutely beautiful. Everything I could ever need right now.
Something else is bothering me, thoguh.
The only person I feel comfortable talking about it with is Greg, because I feel like I burden everyone else with this thought.
But my fathers been gone for 4 months.. and no one knows where he is...
I act like it doesn't bother me, like my life isn't bothered by it.
My conscience is eating away at me, like a daughter should feel after walking out on her loving parents.
Well for me, and my whole life, my mother has been a strong role model for me, and I could never thank her enough. She's happily married now and deserves every bit of it. Though sometimes I can't take Kev and his outbursts, I'm there for her.
And I know deep down her conscience is eating away too, though it shouldn't. It eats away because she had two children with the most selfish man on this earth. She had two beautiful children that only saw their father in hand cuffs every 5 years. I was young, but my brother was old enoguh to sort of realize what the fuck was going on.
Now I look back, and I know that if I do decide to bring innocent lives into this terrible world, I will bring them in with two loving parents, and if my babys daddy happens to be a loser, I will raise the babies on my own.
I wish I never had to meet my father, no, I'm glad I did. So this way, I can learn from his mistakes, not make the same ones.
I can't take him.
tonight shuold be interesting.
Today was the best day of work ever. Not only did the District Manager pretend to kick me and say "You watch yourself" and smile, but my boyfriend brought me lilacs, infront of everyone, my favorite flower.
He's absolutely beautiful. Everything I could ever need right now.
Something else is bothering me, thoguh.
The only person I feel comfortable talking about it with is Greg, because I feel like I burden everyone else with this thought.
But my fathers been gone for 4 months.. and no one knows where he is...
I act like it doesn't bother me, like my life isn't bothered by it.
My conscience is eating away at me, like a daughter should feel after walking out on her loving parents.
Well for me, and my whole life, my mother has been a strong role model for me, and I could never thank her enough. She's happily married now and deserves every bit of it. Though sometimes I can't take Kev and his outbursts, I'm there for her.
And I know deep down her conscience is eating away too, though it shouldn't. It eats away because she had two children with the most selfish man on this earth. She had two beautiful children that only saw their father in hand cuffs every 5 years. I was young, but my brother was old enoguh to sort of realize what the fuck was going on.
Now I look back, and I know that if I do decide to bring innocent lives into this terrible world, I will bring them in with two loving parents, and if my babys daddy happens to be a loser, I will raise the babies on my own.
I wish I never had to meet my father, no, I'm glad I did. So this way, I can learn from his mistakes, not make the same ones.
I can't take him.