aaaaaahhheee
I'm feeling better and my spirits have never been higher. I'm excited to be alive and well. I'm excited about the future. Everyday brings new treats. It's so trite to say that, but it's so true.
I've taken 2 weeks off from work to heal. It's hard, because I just want to walk the lake and do yoga, but I'm taking off from those things, too. Having this time to relax and get in a groove with Keaton has been an incredible gift. I've been able to do work from home because his naps have started to follow a routine. Our evenings do, too, and so sleep has been stabilizing. I know the idea is that stay-at-home moms have it the hardest, but personally I find being a mom who also goes into an office far more difficult.
There are still issues, of course, like the big issue that our house looks like a tornado hit it. I live in conditions I never would have tolerated before. But who cares? Another issue is that Keaton is turning into a great wrestler. This side of him comes out when I'm changing him (especially when poop is involved) and at night when I'm trying to nurse him to sleep. He loves to crawl-nurse, which, unfortunately, makes me laugh so hard I can't counter it with a solid mothering hold. Oh well. Other issues are arising from his increasing mobility. Last night he followed me into the kitchen and sucked on a power cord before I realized he was no longer where I'd left him.
But the biggest issue facing me is this: I love being with him, I love staying home and tending to these things, but I have to go back to work. I love my job, it's a hard-won career and I don't want to give it up. Plus, you know, bills. So how on earth can I possibly balance work and stay-at-home without feeling like I'm going against my gut? It's a privilege to even be faced with this choice, I know.
I know.
Life is golden.
Now Keaton and I are going to meet Heather and Mason in between our homes (yes, that's right, one of my best friends now lives next door) and we're going to play in the kiddie pool.
I've taken 2 weeks off from work to heal. It's hard, because I just want to walk the lake and do yoga, but I'm taking off from those things, too. Having this time to relax and get in a groove with Keaton has been an incredible gift. I've been able to do work from home because his naps have started to follow a routine. Our evenings do, too, and so sleep has been stabilizing. I know the idea is that stay-at-home moms have it the hardest, but personally I find being a mom who also goes into an office far more difficult.
There are still issues, of course, like the big issue that our house looks like a tornado hit it. I live in conditions I never would have tolerated before. But who cares? Another issue is that Keaton is turning into a great wrestler. This side of him comes out when I'm changing him (especially when poop is involved) and at night when I'm trying to nurse him to sleep. He loves to crawl-nurse, which, unfortunately, makes me laugh so hard I can't counter it with a solid mothering hold. Oh well. Other issues are arising from his increasing mobility. Last night he followed me into the kitchen and sucked on a power cord before I realized he was no longer where I'd left him.
But the biggest issue facing me is this: I love being with him, I love staying home and tending to these things, but I have to go back to work. I love my job, it's a hard-won career and I don't want to give it up. Plus, you know, bills. So how on earth can I possibly balance work and stay-at-home without feeling like I'm going against my gut? It's a privilege to even be faced with this choice, I know.
I know.
Life is golden.
Now Keaton and I are going to meet Heather and Mason in between our homes (yes, that's right, one of my best friends now lives next door) and we're going to play in the kiddie pool.