gimme more
Times I have shouted out the correct answer in class this week, earning a pleased smile from my cute professor and a "good job, Shay" as he writes my response on the board: 0
Times I have shouted out the incorrect answer and received only an uncomfortable eyebrow raise from my professor: 8
Times I have had a 'hypoglycemic episode' in the past month: 0
Christmas presents I have bought so far this season: 2
Alcoholic beverages I have consumed this week to help me relax: 0
Pints of ice cream I have consumed this week to help me relax: 1
Number of pants in my closet that fit comfortably after a month of hormones (and a pint of ice cream): 1 (and they're PJs)
Nights this week I spent on the floor in the bathroom heaving thanks to the newest hormone added to my schedule: 6
Mornings I have spent reading on my newly screened in porch, feeling the breeze and enjoying the stillness before the 3 men sleeping inside the house began to stir: 3
Number of As received so far in class: 3 (of 3 graded assignments)
____
And that's all I've got. I feel like I'm floating. I feel sadness that I've lost so many friends lately and sadness at the distance I feel from Ali right now. It's easy to retreat into one's own world where things are simple and they may be busy but at least it's orderly. It's funny how solitude is a salve for loneliness.
I am happy and feel vibrant and alive. I hope I don't forget that.