how can it be a negative probability?

Sep 17, 2007 22:32

I often think it would be nice to be other than I am. Wouldn't it be neat just to feel that? To feel what it's like to be something other than you are? Of course it can never happen because as soon as you feel it, you are being it, and then it becomes you so it's not feeling something other-than-you.

This makes sense in my head, but perhaps not here.

The hormone treatments are making my blood sugar stable and it is absolutely transforming my life. I am other than I have ever been, but it's still just me. It makes me so happy, even though it came with a gained 5lbs.

"You have such great boundaries," my sister tells me tonight, and she is sweet, but she is wrong.

"Those hormones have really turned you into a bitch," my Dad tells me last night, and he is joking, but he is wrong, too.

There is a question lately about self-centered-ness and its appropriateness. How do you know when you've crossed the line from confident and invested-in-yourself to negatively self-involved?

These thoughts are fleeting and idle, really. I'm in good humor. Now I'm going to read a little from "A Random Walk Down Wall Street," watch a little syndicated Sex and the City, and fall asleep.

me, dad, hypoglycemia, bag, food, random, hormones, weight, insane, thoughts, hrt

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