We played a heated game of Monopoly in front of the fireplace tonight, fire blazing as we wheeled and dealed and taunted and cajoled. The winter weather is exciting
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I think there are a couple of ways of looking at it. When I "lost my faith," I initially entered into a pretty depressed state. Granted, I was never that religious to begin with, but everything that had once given me comfort--that I'd see my dogs and loved ones again, that I might come back in another life, etc.--was swept out the window. However, over time it turned into a source of optimism--if we're all here by some freak accident, how fabulously lucky is THAT? And believing that when I'm gone, I'm gone, makes me a little more conscious of how I live my life while I'm here. And feeling that my loved ones are in the same boat has affected how I relate to them.
It makes things a little awkward at funerals. My mom's sister (and my favorite aunt) died last year. I was talking to my mom on the phone shortly after it happened, and she was saying something about how Janell had gone to heaven to be with their parents and the twins. I was silent, trying to figure out what to say next. My mother realized what was going on, and said in a frustrated voice (as though I were a kid and she were getting after me to pick up my dirty clothes), "I wish you girls would believe in heaven!" :)
There are times when I get really curious and wish I had more answers, though. In fact, I'm considering joining a local paranormal investigation team just to try to settle some things, for me at least. Depending on what I find, my whole belief system might once again be turned on its head. ;)
I've been thinking about that, about how it's taken billions of years and tons of luck to create humans. Pretty amazing. but then again, maybe it's that time is infinite and so eventually everything HAD to line up just right for us, if that makes sense? Still, it IS amazing that we are here.
Oooh dear, I hear ya about funerals. It makes weddings and divorces and births and all sorts of things awkward, for sure. heheh, but it's a lovely thing for a Mom to want you to believe in a beautiful place where everyone ultimately in ends up!
Whooah, paranormal investigation! awesome! hehe, I wanna join a syngague to get some more answers....
It makes things a little awkward at funerals. My mom's sister (and my favorite aunt) died last year. I was talking to my mom on the phone shortly after it happened, and she was saying something about how Janell had gone to heaven to be with their parents and the twins. I was silent, trying to figure out what to say next. My mother realized what was going on, and said in a frustrated voice (as though I were a kid and she were getting after me to pick up my dirty clothes), "I wish you girls would believe in heaven!" :)
There are times when I get really curious and wish I had more answers, though. In fact, I'm considering joining a local paranormal investigation team just to try to settle some things, for me at least. Depending on what I find, my whole belief system might once again be turned on its head. ;)
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Oooh dear, I hear ya about funerals. It makes weddings and divorces and births and all sorts of things awkward, for sure. heheh, but it's a lovely thing for a Mom to want you to believe in a beautiful place where everyone ultimately in ends up!
Whooah, paranormal investigation! awesome! hehe, I wanna join a syngague to get some more answers....
Reply
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