Six years ago today
Six years ago today was the last time I saw my mom alive and awake.
She struggled with breast cancer for 7 years... defeated it once, but it came back 5 years later. No one ever told me that the medicine she was on was really only effective for 5 years, and that it was likely the cancer would come back.
She fought again, and I never really let myself believe that she could actually die from this. She'd had breast cancer before and beat it. So why shouldn't she be able to beat it again?
I hadn't seen my mom in several weeks. She'd been on vacation with my dad, and then they spent labor day weekend at their lake house. My brother and I had been invited, but both of us declined (and regret it deeply to this day.) We both had our excuses... my brother was a new dad to a one month old little girl, and I'd just bought a condo and was still in the process of unpacking.
On the way home from the lake house, my mom and dad stopped by my condo to bring me a bed for my guest room. They were replacing the old bed at at the lake house, and I could use it.
The minute my mom stepped out of the car, I knew it... she was dying. I think I actually took a step back, I was that shocked by her appearance. She looked so frail and weak, but she still smiled her courageous smile.
She came inside while dad unloaded the bed, and sat down on the sofa. This was her first time in the condo since it became mine (my grandfather owned it before me, and I bought it when he decided to move back to Missouri). These were the sofas she and I had picked out together a month earlier... the last time I spent some quality time with her. (Sofa shopping and hot Krispy Kreme donuts... a memory I will always treasure).
She had a hard time sitting down. I got her a bottle of water and she dropped the cap and was unable to pick it up. We laughed and talked like we normally did, but inside I was crying.
After the bed was unloaded, I hugged her goodbye and told her I loved her - the last words I spoke to her while she was conscious.
After they left, I called my brother and cried. The reality was setting in that we were going to lose her... we just had not idea how soon.
To be continued.
She struggled with breast cancer for 7 years... defeated it once, but it came back 5 years later. No one ever told me that the medicine she was on was really only effective for 5 years, and that it was likely the cancer would come back.
She fought again, and I never really let myself believe that she could actually die from this. She'd had breast cancer before and beat it. So why shouldn't she be able to beat it again?
I hadn't seen my mom in several weeks. She'd been on vacation with my dad, and then they spent labor day weekend at their lake house. My brother and I had been invited, but both of us declined (and regret it deeply to this day.) We both had our excuses... my brother was a new dad to a one month old little girl, and I'd just bought a condo and was still in the process of unpacking.
On the way home from the lake house, my mom and dad stopped by my condo to bring me a bed for my guest room. They were replacing the old bed at at the lake house, and I could use it.
The minute my mom stepped out of the car, I knew it... she was dying. I think I actually took a step back, I was that shocked by her appearance. She looked so frail and weak, but she still smiled her courageous smile.
She came inside while dad unloaded the bed, and sat down on the sofa. This was her first time in the condo since it became mine (my grandfather owned it before me, and I bought it when he decided to move back to Missouri). These were the sofas she and I had picked out together a month earlier... the last time I spent some quality time with her. (Sofa shopping and hot Krispy Kreme donuts... a memory I will always treasure).
She had a hard time sitting down. I got her a bottle of water and she dropped the cap and was unable to pick it up. We laughed and talked like we normally did, but inside I was crying.
After the bed was unloaded, I hugged her goodbye and told her I loved her - the last words I spoke to her while she was conscious.
After they left, I called my brother and cried. The reality was setting in that we were going to lose her... we just had not idea how soon.
To be continued.