Its a New Year

[shayho]

.....and a New semester, and looking back there needs to be some changes made to my lifestyle. (PLEASE...no one take offense to anything i say, im not directing it at anyone in particular, but things need to be done) Not being a stupid anorexic chick, I need to go on a diet. Laurens wedding is less then 8 months away,and my best friend Cros' wedding is less then 6 months away (on a beach in mexico!!!) and I have unwanted fat sitting like an inner tube around my waist. I plan on going to the gym everyday....running and swimming (whatever will make my skinnier, and my legs less muscular...they bother me.) It sucks cause I used to have a decent body and barely did anything for it...and now its college and its gaining on me. Seriously, dont get me wrong...i dont think im fat, i dont think im overweight or hideoously ugly, i just think i could eat less junk and more health food, and exercise a lot more. Now onto the weddings. Sooo im allowed to bring a date, to BOTH, and i have no one to bring. I mean I have a GREAT guy who id take in a heartbeat...but hes just a friend. It'd be nice to have a real date. Technically i highly doubt any date is going to want to attend a wedding in Mexico on a beach with me, because it would cost money, but itd be fun! This semester, im not going to play by my rules what so ever. Im going out to have a good time, and if someone comes along they come along. Im not going to sit around and be what everyone else wants me to be, because obviously its not working. Im not going to do something because someone might get upset or mad, its NOT gonna happen. Life is only so long, and I have loved every minute of the past couple of years. I truly appreciate all that I have, my family is great, and i have some wonderful friends. Those special few have loved me unconditionally, through my stupid stupid mistakes, and through all the fun times. Its the walks 15 minutes in the snow/rain that really proves to me how much you do care. Its so easy to say its too far...but you dont even drive....you walk, so thanks!! Now a lot of people think im too nice, or I get used. And its true, I do get used. I have a habit of cleaning up after people, doing things for people, that i guess others wouldnt do. I dont see it out of the ordinarly to do favors for others, i mean thats what friends are for. HOWEVER, im sick and tired of being someones toy to use to get others jealous, or just use in general because they KNOW I cant say no. Im sick of being a pseudo-friend, a friend thats only a friend when shes around. I want to hangout with the people that want to see me, that miss me when im not there, and need me as much as I need them. I dont need to be anyones second, im not going to sit around and wait for you to have no other plans...and then call me. Its not going to happen, one day you will realize im not there...and whether you dont care that im gone, or miss me, ill be gone. This semester Ill be 20... and there is only 2.5 years left in my college career. I plan on making the most of it. So whether you will be around for it, or ur just a crazy online stalker--i have changed and for the better!! :)

PS. Again no one take any offense to this!!! I just have to do it for myself and only myself