Oblivious

[shay_writes]

Trigger warning: contains sexual abuse

Everyone, at some point in their life, faces an ugly truth. Secrets are revealed through self-examination.
Maturity brings a better understanding of the facts. My moment of reckoning happened when I was in my late thirties.

I was sexually molested as a child.

Comments

[adoptedwriter]

Ewwww....yuck! He was a total DOM!
The descriptive detail in this, however, is concise and brilliant.
So sorry you had to go through this.
Sharing a cool article w you: http://www.kveller.com/mayim-bialik/why-i-never-force-my-kids-to-kiss-their-grandparents-or-anyone-else/#more-4893

AW

[shay_writes]

At the time, I thought it was "normal." I remember developing ways to protect myself and the how I felt after, but never thought of it as abuse.

Thank you! I shall take a look at it.

[shay_writes]

When my oldest daughter was three or four, we were getting ready for bed and saying good night. Her brother wanted to kiss her good night and she refused him. Of course he complained to me and expected me to force her to kiss him. I didn't. I told her she didn't have to kiss anyone she didn't want to kiss. This lead to her telling me she was being abused by my ex husband.

Thank you for the link.

[rswndrlst]

Wow what a difficult experience to recount. I'm sorry that happened too you.

Good article also, I've dealt with the issue recently. My father's side of family is the sort that makes the little ones go around and kiss the adults goodbye, i remember it being expected of me too. One of the last times I visited with them I could tell my seven year old cousin was uncomfortable having to go around and kiss everyone but I didn't want to say "Hey you shouldn't make her" but when she got to me I got down on my knee and said "J___ you don't have to kiss me if you don't want to but I wouldn't mind a hug or a high five." She smiled and gave me a big hug. I personally wish adults would give kids more credit to trust their instincts and bodily autonomy.

[shay_writes]

I wish they would too. The message sent to children when they are forced to be affectionate with relatives is conflicting and confusing I'm sure.

Thanks for reading. *hugs*

[cheshire23]

That's great!

Once, when qween394 had just turned two, my mom picked her up and said, "Can Grandma have a hug and kiss?"

And qween394 said, "NO! Down down down!"

And my mom was a little sad but she put her down. And ever since that day they have been really close, and I think that one interaction made all the later closeness possible.

[shay_writes]

I'm glad your mom listened. :)