~*~My day~*~
Hey Hey Everyone wha's up?? Nuttin much here just chillen at nanny's!*! Woohoo!*! Well, today I was in Kingsport half the day with nanny at the hospital for her surgrey...We had to leave the house at like 6:00, which I had to get up at like 5:30 to get ready...so we could be out there by 7:30* Around like 9:30 or something I was going outside to smoke in the car cause get the this you can't smoke outside the hospital u have to smoke in your vehicle which is massively homosexual..lol..but n-ways..I saw a bunch of people from pound walk in the door and than I saw danielle..which was awesome because I love that girl like a sister, I started to walk with her group and the nurse was like throw ur pop away please I was like I'm not with this group...and walked away..hehe** Well my nanny got out of the hospital about 12:30 and than we went to my sis's..** I went to sleep like as soon as we got home...I'm still tired...In the past like three days I think I've slept like a total of 3 hours....which sucks cause my brain won't function..lol..hehe..which it never does n-way but tha's besides the point**
Ya know what...There are some people that mean so much to you that you try so hard but you still feel like your always going to screw up..tha's how I feel** I mean I care about this guy so much it kills me because I try to test my limits with him and see how far I can push him before he gets mad...which yeah it sounds stupid, but everyone has to test their limits and know how far they can go** But I think im going to push it to far and than Im going to lose him...I think i've come pretty close to it....I was just sitten here thinken If i was him I would have done left me for all the stupid shit I do and say!*! Its so weird cause to start out with I didn't want to get attached to him because I was afraid of gettin hurt...I'm still afraid that something is going to happen and in the long run somebody is going to end up hurt and it is most likey going to be me and it will probably be my own fault!*! So much stuff keeps running through my mind about what could go wrong and what I have caused to go wrong...I just want to him to know that I would never do anything intentionally to hurt him but I'm to scared to tell him how I really feel because I dont want to sound all soft and emotional...cause I don't do that stuff infront of people or around people, i keep my feelings and everything that i'm feelin to myself, just to keep the drama and stuff down!*! But i hope eventually stuff starts to go my way and stop being so fucked up!*!
Tesia and I are talking now which is better from what it used to be...It rocks cause now we actually look at each other without wanting to punch the other one in the face**LOL** With all the stuff that we have been through there is always going to be those memories that we're never going to forget...like...All the trips to Wal~Wart(never forget those nights), Ramen Noddles 4am dancing in the kitchen, Trips to Subway...(throwing up in the bushes), Mid~night trips to the emergency room, because of the water hose...This yr is your last and even though you ended up over in RLA with me..I'm glad that we got to spend most of it together**
Welp i guess im going to go and try and catch up on my beauty rest...lol..But ya'll leave me some love...
Jekah Laine
Ya know what...There are some people that mean so much to you that you try so hard but you still feel like your always going to screw up..tha's how I feel** I mean I care about this guy so much it kills me because I try to test my limits with him and see how far I can push him before he gets mad...which yeah it sounds stupid, but everyone has to test their limits and know how far they can go** But I think im going to push it to far and than Im going to lose him...I think i've come pretty close to it....I was just sitten here thinken If i was him I would have done left me for all the stupid shit I do and say!*! Its so weird cause to start out with I didn't want to get attached to him because I was afraid of gettin hurt...I'm still afraid that something is going to happen and in the long run somebody is going to end up hurt and it is most likey going to be me and it will probably be my own fault!*! So much stuff keeps running through my mind about what could go wrong and what I have caused to go wrong...I just want to him to know that I would never do anything intentionally to hurt him but I'm to scared to tell him how I really feel because I dont want to sound all soft and emotional...cause I don't do that stuff infront of people or around people, i keep my feelings and everything that i'm feelin to myself, just to keep the drama and stuff down!*! But i hope eventually stuff starts to go my way and stop being so fucked up!*!
Tesia and I are talking now which is better from what it used to be...It rocks cause now we actually look at each other without wanting to punch the other one in the face**LOL** With all the stuff that we have been through there is always going to be those memories that we're never going to forget...like...All the trips to Wal~Wart(never forget those nights), Ramen Noddles 4am dancing in the kitchen, Trips to Subway...(throwing up in the bushes), Mid~night trips to the emergency room, because of the water hose...This yr is your last and even though you ended up over in RLA with me..I'm glad that we got to spend most of it together**
Welp i guess im going to go and try and catch up on my beauty rest...lol..But ya'll leave me some love...
Jekah Laine