Thursday
So, there are four stages of cancer and Ma is at the fourth. God only knows how long this has been ticking inside of her. I hate to think that this could have been prevented but that is all really behind us now.
I haven't been to the hospital since Monday but there has been someone there with her every day since. I am going tomorrow though. Work is the only thing that makes me feel at least a little bit "normal".
My youngest brother and youngest sister (both older then me) apparently got into an argument the other morning. Originally I was the only one who knew that it had spread to the liver, aside from Ma, but my brothers' wife, her sister-in-law is a former ER chief nurse and now teaches nursing, still retains a lot of connections in the hospital. Anyway, she was able to get and give certain information to my brother even before the doctor gave it to me. That first day he and I were sitting outside and he had mentioned that there was a strong possibility that it already spread from lungs to liver. It was like he was telling me what he knew. I told him I already knew but was not sure when the right time to tell anyone was. I wanted to have everyone there but that was rather difficult .. Sister in Boston, Brother in Cal, Sister vacationing in Cal, oldest sister local.
So Boston sister gets mad at him for not speaking up. Oldest sister gets mad at me for not speaking up sooner. I haven't talked to her yet but it was a reactionary response to not knowing the whole story. My defense was that I wanted to somehow tell everyone at once and get it over with, I also had no idea how progressive it was.
There are four stages of cancer, this being the fourth, the deterioration comes on like a lightning bolt. If it was caught earlier, who knows?
I have to go.
I haven't been to the hospital since Monday but there has been someone there with her every day since. I am going tomorrow though. Work is the only thing that makes me feel at least a little bit "normal".
My youngest brother and youngest sister (both older then me) apparently got into an argument the other morning. Originally I was the only one who knew that it had spread to the liver, aside from Ma, but my brothers' wife, her sister-in-law is a former ER chief nurse and now teaches nursing, still retains a lot of connections in the hospital. Anyway, she was able to get and give certain information to my brother even before the doctor gave it to me. That first day he and I were sitting outside and he had mentioned that there was a strong possibility that it already spread from lungs to liver. It was like he was telling me what he knew. I told him I already knew but was not sure when the right time to tell anyone was. I wanted to have everyone there but that was rather difficult .. Sister in Boston, Brother in Cal, Sister vacationing in Cal, oldest sister local.
So Boston sister gets mad at him for not speaking up. Oldest sister gets mad at me for not speaking up sooner. I haven't talked to her yet but it was a reactionary response to not knowing the whole story. My defense was that I wanted to somehow tell everyone at once and get it over with, I also had no idea how progressive it was.
There are four stages of cancer, this being the fourth, the deterioration comes on like a lightning bolt. If it was caught earlier, who knows?
I have to go.