Nostalgic
It started with a movie and it was all down hill after that.
I caught myself in one of those moments where you are channel surfing late at night when you should be either sleeping or creating great art or having the best sex of your life. Instead I am mind-melding to the TV deity and find a movie I have not seen for some time that always fills me with a bit of joy when it is on. The movie was REALITY BITES and I devoured it like a cannibal at an orgy. Of course now in the aftermath I feel a hollow space in the center of me.
You feel old when you do the math backwards from when the movie was released and realize it's been fifteen goddamn years. Fifteen. I was seventeen years old and a completely different person in many of the most important ways. When did that happen? Where was I? Gah.
Anyway the warm feelings came from Winona Ryder's character, Lelaina. Not just because I remember having one of those celebrity crushes on her back in the day but because different sides to her character reminded me of these girls I used to hang out with in highschool. The amalgamation on the screen was not better in any way than the real versions of these ladies but it hinted at their greatness and sparked a flood of memories I had not visited in forever and a day.
They were the coolest, most amazing girls I had ever had the privilege of knowing, hanging with, or ever to have had a crush on. I miss being in their presence when they were together, as they snapped, crackled, and popped energy and excitement. I carry fond memories of them all. A few even stole my heart though I never always let it be known. Those days in highschool I like to visit the most always feature them in the foreground and in the background. They're powering the vision or haunting it wonderfully.
I run into some of them from time to time, but mostly like so many people do in your life, they're passing ships in the night. Sometimes I'll pretend and hope to run into them and reconnect as friends or even something more. It's a nice dream and lord knows I've always been a good one for dreams.
It's funny what you think about when you are channel surfing and should be putting your time to better use. It's funny how old I feel and how long ago it all was. It's funny which people you miss the most after all this time.
Good night ladies. Though most of you I haven't seen in years, I'll always love ya just the same.
(c)Shawn J. Douglas 2009
I caught myself in one of those moments where you are channel surfing late at night when you should be either sleeping or creating great art or having the best sex of your life. Instead I am mind-melding to the TV deity and find a movie I have not seen for some time that always fills me with a bit of joy when it is on. The movie was REALITY BITES and I devoured it like a cannibal at an orgy. Of course now in the aftermath I feel a hollow space in the center of me.
You feel old when you do the math backwards from when the movie was released and realize it's been fifteen goddamn years. Fifteen. I was seventeen years old and a completely different person in many of the most important ways. When did that happen? Where was I? Gah.
Anyway the warm feelings came from Winona Ryder's character, Lelaina. Not just because I remember having one of those celebrity crushes on her back in the day but because different sides to her character reminded me of these girls I used to hang out with in highschool. The amalgamation on the screen was not better in any way than the real versions of these ladies but it hinted at their greatness and sparked a flood of memories I had not visited in forever and a day.
They were the coolest, most amazing girls I had ever had the privilege of knowing, hanging with, or ever to have had a crush on. I miss being in their presence when they were together, as they snapped, crackled, and popped energy and excitement. I carry fond memories of them all. A few even stole my heart though I never always let it be known. Those days in highschool I like to visit the most always feature them in the foreground and in the background. They're powering the vision or haunting it wonderfully.
I run into some of them from time to time, but mostly like so many people do in your life, they're passing ships in the night. Sometimes I'll pretend and hope to run into them and reconnect as friends or even something more. It's a nice dream and lord knows I've always been a good one for dreams.
It's funny what you think about when you are channel surfing and should be putting your time to better use. It's funny how old I feel and how long ago it all was. It's funny which people you miss the most after all this time.
Good night ladies. Though most of you I haven't seen in years, I'll always love ya just the same.
(c)Shawn J. Douglas 2009