(no subject)
Five (Short) Things Your Character Does In The City
I
Shawn thinks about getting Catwoman a present, but only 'cause she's Catwoman. It's not like he was even a big Selina Kyle fan back home or one for Michelle Pfeiffer for that matter. He's only been dragged to two Batman movies, because of Gus and excitedly went to the one starring Val Kilmer, the man he'd go 100% homo for (almost). But still, it's not every day that a sassy lady in a leather cat suit comes to life.
He's at City Condom World, a fun sex shop down town and is considering getting her a new set of whips and where exactly you'd leave a gift like that (roof tops? Pet store? Batcave?). Shawn then remembers how chummy she is with Lassie and maybe the good cop could hand it over to her for him.
But whips don't seem like a good idea anymore after that thought.
II
He hasn't seen Karla since they cracked the Joker case and he spent the night in the lap of luxury. Her lap was particularly strong. He knows it wasn't going to be anything serious. Shawn respects a couple that can stick it through, but hardcore relationships are never for him. He took her out, knowing they were probably going to roll around on her bed sheets later and she knew that was as far as they were going to go too.
Shawn is a one dinner-one night kind of man. He never looked too deeply into it psychologically. His mom bothers him about it and his father could give a shit. Sometimes Gus gives him crap for it too, but it's just Gus. Gus has learned to live with it. His mother? Not so much, but that's what you get for having a doctor for a mom.
Maybe it has to do with his parents and their divorce. Maybe it has to do with Gus's parents who seem like the picture perfect couple and how could anyone live up to that? Maybe Shawn is holding out for Juliet or Abigail (after all these years) still and he's too stubborn to admit it. Maybe he looks at some of his friends and their relationships (Gus, Lassiter...) and doesn't want to feel the same heart break down the line.
In Beldens' Jewelers, Shawn idly looks at rings of all colors and sizes. He hasn't had to buy something nice and shiny for a girl other than his mom in years and this Christmas? No diamonds, girls. Sorry.
III
For the first two weeks he's known her, Shawn developed a small crush on Maza. She was one of the few women in his life he knew could rock a pair of mom jeans. She was fierce, independent, and still willing to flirt and smile when he did so back. It was like a rocking mixture of Chief Vick and Juliet that it made his blood boil at the thought of home.
And for that reason, he knows he can't be anything more to Maza than a nuisance and a friend.
He buys a coffee mug with World's Best Boss engraved in yuletide colors. Inside are assorted candies, a small bag of coffee beans, and a tea bag for those nights in at her home.
IV
A few days before Christmas, Shawn buys a small plastic tree and props it up on the bar. Gaster is pawing at the silver tinsel and ornaments. One of the red balls falls and crashes on the floor. Gaster yowls and jumps and hides, but Shawn doesn't berate him. He just grins and gets the dust pan and brush to clean up Gaster's mess.
Shawn never had a pet before Gaster a, uh, living pet. Chairman Mao RIP. His father never thought he was responsible enough to take care of another living thing.
But Gaster is still alive and Shawn has developed such an attachment to the little guy. Some days, he swears Gaster can understand exactly what he is saying and they can carry conversations for at least an hour before they both get bored (or hungry). They eat dinner together and watch TV together and though Gaster has his own pillow to lay on, sometimes he jumps on Shawn's bed and curls up on his chest.
For now, he's the closest thing he has to a best friend, a confidant, and a kid. For Christmas, Shawn is spoiling Gaster rotten.
V
Back home, in Santa Barbara, Shawn played games with Lassie. He felt like the big kid on the playground picking on Lassifrass, because it was so easy to ruffle his feathers. It was so easy to pinch and prod and lie across him before skipping away to hit on Juliet some more. It was so easy to solve a case and get it right and rub it in Lassie's face just to see his face turn red and his brows to furrow and his cheeks to blow up, because that's just how angry he can get before he pulls out his gun.
A few months before getting ported in, Shawn ran into Lassiter in a bar and listened to the detective ramble in a self-deprecating way. Shawn felt sorry--Shawn pitied him--but after he solved the case for Lassie, he continued being a dick just for the sake of being a dick.
All the while, Lassie vouched for him in court, paid for his motorbike, gave him as many compliments as one Lassiter could give, and begrudgingly follow his advice about that sternum bush. The point was that though Lassie was a jerk, that's just how he was most of the time and if he was acting especially jerkish to Shawn...well, Shawn was asking for it.
When ported into the City and getting himself into worse trouble than was worth, Lassiter always had his back. What he said at the surprise house warming party was true--the guy was trying to make sure Shawn didn't get himself killed. He wasn't sure how this world was any different, but Lassiter seemed to think the likelihood that Shawn would get himself blown up increased tenfold.
Shawn was beginning to think that Lassiter liked him.
Which, OK, was normal. It wouldn't be the first time a guy or two liked him. Shawn had dealt with it. Heck, he had been with a dancing troupe in Baltimore for an entire season and finding a straight man in a theater was near impossible. It wasn't his fault he had a ton of charisma and sparkling eyes. It only started getting problematic when he liked them back for all their little nuisances and weird quirks and gun holsters strapped to their backs 24/7.
That didn't mean Shawn liked the ladies any less. He was still holding a torch for Juliet and a few other sassy ladies in his line of work, but like there was something about Mary, there was something about Lassie. It probably had to do with the fact that the detective didn't put up with his shit. Seriously, a department full of cops and none of them knew he wasn't a psychic?
One time, Lassie said that Shawn astounded him. It was safe to say (in the privacy of his own home, only to Gaster) that Lassiter astounded him too.
It's been a week already and Lassiter isn't back yet. He's lucky if he got ported back to Santa Barbara. He deserves better than the crooks here, the City, and most definitely, Shawn