Apr 11, 2007 13:00
Finally that time is almost here. I'm ready to move on and take control over my life. Well, I have control, but not complete control. I still sensor myself, especially around my mom. I want to just be myself without having to hide anything. Even though she knows my lifestyle, I can tell it bothers her, so I can't be like "hey, i'm going out to a gay bar" or "hey i'm going on a date with *insert guys name here*". It would bother her too much, and I respect that.
She's been trying to talk me out of leaving for the past couple of weeks, and I'm still not even sure if she realizes that I'm leaving in less than 3 weeks. I'm ready to go. She has some valid points though....I have bills, I'll JUST be able to support myself working at CP, but I've got enough saved for backup. She's worried that I won't have found a job by the end of the season, because in 2005, I promised that I would be job searching and I did hardly any of that. I'm pretty confident that since I have nothing to fall back on this time around, that I will be pushing myself harder. See in 2005, I had the option of going back home and working at my local Best Buy where I had been seasonal since 2001. I was the same way in school. I work a lot harder when the pressure is on. I've also got a fabulous support system of friends at CP.
I know she is going to miss me, but its not like I am going to be gone for ever. I'll even be back for a week in June that I've contracted off.
I need to give my 2 weeks notice to my job. Its definately been a huge learning experience so it wasn't a complete waste of time, but Its not where I am happy. I don't think this is the right thing for me. I'm ready to be around friends, and have a job that I actually enjoying going to everyday, and I hope & pray that by the time the season is over, I'll have found another one that I enjoy as much as I enjoy CP.
TTYL
-SHAWN