(no subject)
goodness, why am i so hard on myself?
i have had soooo much going through my head lately, i can't even keep up. it all started when i seriously started working on that RA application, and now that ive submitted it and seen all the other people applying, i feel worthless. ill never get it. and i have a whole month of waiting...in anticipation...knowing that if i dont get it i will be crushed.
THEN on the other side of my argument, i know that god had me do that application for a reason. if i dont get it, im not suppossed to get it. the whole process is covered in prayer...i just cant help but feel worthless.
and yes jessica, i feel fat and white and unhealthy too. sick. part of being hard on myself.
an a lighter note...im making new friends in all my new classes. lol i like them. SOME of them...eye yi yi...God give me patience.
i have had soooo much going through my head lately, i can't even keep up. it all started when i seriously started working on that RA application, and now that ive submitted it and seen all the other people applying, i feel worthless. ill never get it. and i have a whole month of waiting...in anticipation...knowing that if i dont get it i will be crushed.
THEN on the other side of my argument, i know that god had me do that application for a reason. if i dont get it, im not suppossed to get it. the whole process is covered in prayer...i just cant help but feel worthless.
and yes jessica, i feel fat and white and unhealthy too. sick. part of being hard on myself.
an a lighter note...im making new friends in all my new classes. lol i like them. SOME of them...eye yi yi...God give me patience.