One Way Life
Title: One Way Life
Prompt: All Alone - rock_babe's April, 2006 contest
Time: 16:02 [mm:ss]
Words: 824
Edits: At least one, hopefully
Notes: Even though I did get the prompt from a contest, I probably won't enter it. Why? I'm not likely to edit this before the 30th. Plus, I don't think I want to. I liked the prompt, and started writing. And oh yah. Brian again! ^_^ I love that dude. I don't even know what he looks like. One of these days...
---
The feeling of waking up in the cold was too familiar. It seemed like months had passed since Brian last knew the feeling of blankets and of general warmth. Winter was on, and no one bothered to make sure the captive was warm. He shivered, and huddled into the wall. Stubbornly, he refused to open his eyes. Even the slightest bit of moonlight would cause him to wake up completely.
It was a side effect of life. After spending so many years on the edge of life and death, Brian had learned to wake himself completely at the slightly hit of danger. Light meant danger. In sunlight, people's movements were more certain, and in the gray area of dawn, most people's wits were low. In sunlight, people felt certain, felt safe. Brian knew differently. The day was as dangerous as the night, if not more.
He shivered again as he leaned too far into the cold, stone wall. He shifted forward and bumped his elbow against something. He bit back an oath and opened his eyes slightly. In an instant, he was wide-awake.
Damn bed stand. Brian had found in his earlier days that the bed was useless. The ground was more comfortable than the bed would ever be, so he had taken to sleeping on the ground. The problem with that was that there was barely any space on the ground. In order for him to actually sleep on the ground, he had to curl himself up around the bed stand. Of course, curling up around the bed stand meant he would inevitably bump into it every now and then.
He heaved a sigh of despair. No one cared about his comforts. No one had for months. All they cared was that he remained alive. That was all they needed. They needed a spirit to break, and they had his trapped here. It did not matter how long it would take. Just one more person and they could accomplish their goal, but Brian owned no loyalty to them. Why did they want him? He was capable. They had their hands on him. That was reason enough for them.
However, because Brian owned them no allegiance, he did his best to hold out against their will. It did not work. Or rather, it was not working. Every day, every night, he could feel a little more slipping away. A little more of his sanity dropped away, and he would feel the want, the need, to join them in their suicide mission.
Never, never in his life had he known such hopelessness. Never in his life had he known the need to just give up. Brian hated the feeling, but knew that he could not move on until he gave up. He also knew that once he gave up, he could not go back to move on. It was a one way street. He had stopped, but there was only one way to go. Turning back would only mean death, and death was no way to move on.
The cold moon light shone into the room like a beam of hope. That was what Brian had thought in the beginning. A single beam of hope that would wax and wan as time passed. That image had long since abandoned him. There was no hope. In the end, darkness would come, or full light. It only depended on how he saw it. It only depended on him. If he gave himself to their cause, he would be open to their light. If he gave up, the darkness would consume him.
It was his choice alone, but it was a choice he did not want to make alone. The one time he felt the need for a companion, there was no one to consult. He had gone too far building up defenses around him, and in his latest hour, he had no one to turn to. His own people would not come for him. They had not come for months, and they probably assumed he was dead.
If they did, they were not far from wrong. For all Brian cared, he could be dead. This could be hell. Maybe it was Purgatory, if such place existed.
The gray of dawn started. The beam of moonlight painstakingly became golden until finally it no longer held any hint of night. Every day it was the same story. Every day it would come, teasing him. And ever time the sun came up, the guard's footsteps would start.
They did. They fell steadily. Then came the jingle of keys, but it was never to open his door. It was only to tease him, and Brian knew that.
"So Brian," the guard said, "Come to a decision, yet?"
His voice was hoarse; it had been for weeks. His head shook, and hair fell into his eyes. Every single day was a painful reminder to how alone he was.
"No. I won't do it."
Prompt: All Alone - rock_babe's April, 2006 contest
Time: 16:02 [mm:ss]
Words: 824
Edits: At least one, hopefully
Notes: Even though I did get the prompt from a contest, I probably won't enter it. Why? I'm not likely to edit this before the 30th. Plus, I don't think I want to. I liked the prompt, and started writing. And oh yah. Brian again! ^_^ I love that dude. I don't even know what he looks like. One of these days...
---
The feeling of waking up in the cold was too familiar. It seemed like months had passed since Brian last knew the feeling of blankets and of general warmth. Winter was on, and no one bothered to make sure the captive was warm. He shivered, and huddled into the wall. Stubbornly, he refused to open his eyes. Even the slightest bit of moonlight would cause him to wake up completely.
It was a side effect of life. After spending so many years on the edge of life and death, Brian had learned to wake himself completely at the slightly hit of danger. Light meant danger. In sunlight, people's movements were more certain, and in the gray area of dawn, most people's wits were low. In sunlight, people felt certain, felt safe. Brian knew differently. The day was as dangerous as the night, if not more.
He shivered again as he leaned too far into the cold, stone wall. He shifted forward and bumped his elbow against something. He bit back an oath and opened his eyes slightly. In an instant, he was wide-awake.
Damn bed stand. Brian had found in his earlier days that the bed was useless. The ground was more comfortable than the bed would ever be, so he had taken to sleeping on the ground. The problem with that was that there was barely any space on the ground. In order for him to actually sleep on the ground, he had to curl himself up around the bed stand. Of course, curling up around the bed stand meant he would inevitably bump into it every now and then.
He heaved a sigh of despair. No one cared about his comforts. No one had for months. All they cared was that he remained alive. That was all they needed. They needed a spirit to break, and they had his trapped here. It did not matter how long it would take. Just one more person and they could accomplish their goal, but Brian owned no loyalty to them. Why did they want him? He was capable. They had their hands on him. That was reason enough for them.
However, because Brian owned them no allegiance, he did his best to hold out against their will. It did not work. Or rather, it was not working. Every day, every night, he could feel a little more slipping away. A little more of his sanity dropped away, and he would feel the want, the need, to join them in their suicide mission.
Never, never in his life had he known such hopelessness. Never in his life had he known the need to just give up. Brian hated the feeling, but knew that he could not move on until he gave up. He also knew that once he gave up, he could not go back to move on. It was a one way street. He had stopped, but there was only one way to go. Turning back would only mean death, and death was no way to move on.
The cold moon light shone into the room like a beam of hope. That was what Brian had thought in the beginning. A single beam of hope that would wax and wan as time passed. That image had long since abandoned him. There was no hope. In the end, darkness would come, or full light. It only depended on how he saw it. It only depended on him. If he gave himself to their cause, he would be open to their light. If he gave up, the darkness would consume him.
It was his choice alone, but it was a choice he did not want to make alone. The one time he felt the need for a companion, there was no one to consult. He had gone too far building up defenses around him, and in his latest hour, he had no one to turn to. His own people would not come for him. They had not come for months, and they probably assumed he was dead.
If they did, they were not far from wrong. For all Brian cared, he could be dead. This could be hell. Maybe it was Purgatory, if such place existed.
The gray of dawn started. The beam of moonlight painstakingly became golden until finally it no longer held any hint of night. Every day it was the same story. Every day it would come, teasing him. And ever time the sun came up, the guard's footsteps would start.
They did. They fell steadily. Then came the jingle of keys, but it was never to open his door. It was only to tease him, and Brian knew that.
"So Brian," the guard said, "Come to a decision, yet?"
His voice was hoarse; it had been for weeks. His head shook, and hair fell into his eyes. Every single day was a painful reminder to how alone he was.
"No. I won't do it."