Goodbye To All That
One of the big differences between living for a long time in a small town and living (for any amount of time) in a big city is the networks of community that surround us. When I left my hometown there were people that I knew from school, people that I knew from college, people that I knew from work, people that I had met through hobbies/interests, people that drank in the same pubs as me or worked in shops/cafes I frequented, friends of friends, friends of family, neighbours, people you saw when you walked the dog or people you just regularly bumped into at the bus stop. In a comparatively small town, 23 years of living in the same place buys you a big slice of community whether you want it to or not. City life is a bit different. People tend to move around a lot more, work, shop and socialise in very different areas from where they live etc. That network of community is harder to come by.
I'm not saying that it is impossible to come by, it depends very much on a person's habits. If you regularly drink in the same pub, buy a newspaper in the same newsagent, share a hobby or interest with other locals etc. then you can build up some kind of network. Until this Summer I lived in Harrow for 13 years but mostly worked and socialised in other parts of London. I was on nodding terms with several local shopkeepers or people that worked in my local supermarket. I could even make small talk with some of my neighbours but people tended to come and go quite frequently from the area and mostly I would only nod 'Alright' to as we passed.
The one exception to this was (and this is a sad indictment of my life) a lady that worked in my local pharmacy. Since I had my illness a few years back I have been taking medication ever since and that has meant regular prescriptions have to be filled. The process started off pretty anonymously but one day when I was waiting in the shop for my medication she approached me and said that she always liked it when I came into the shop because I am 'always very polite' and have 'a lovely calm disposition.' She then got quite embarressed as she realised that people only really come to the chemists when they need medication (and are suffering from health problems) so quickly tried to backtrack ('I mean, I'm not glad that you are unwell', etc).
After that we regularly made small talk when I popped into the shop. If it had been a pub rather than a chemist I am pretty sure that I could either have asked for 'regular please' or she might even had starting pouring before I reached the bar, it was that kind of relationship except in a chemist. This past year we discovered that we had this other random thing in common. I was planning to move with in with my partner who lives in the same part of Ealing that this lady originally came from while she was planning to retire with her husband and buy a place in Wales (not quite the town where I was from but a place I know quite well through childhood holidays).
Last week I made my final trip to my GP in Harrow (I am now registered with a local doctor) and took my last prescription to the pharmacy to be filled. As it turns out it was the nice lady's final week there as she was finishing for good and finally moving to Wales. We said our goodbye's and I plonked myself back on the bus to my new home. It all felt oddly significant. Now that I no longer visit that Harrow GP I have no obligation to visit there again (after 13 years of calling it home). At the same time the one person there that could recognise me and greet me by name has also gone and moved onto better things. It's been six months since I moved home but that felt like a proper ending.
I wonder where that kind of welcome will be found in my new community. So far my most regular interactions have been with the postie and the local chip shop.I'm not sure if that is better than the chemists. Maybe I should go to the pub a bit more often.
This week I have been mostly reading: The Hanging Tree by Ben Aaronovitch
I'm not saying that it is impossible to come by, it depends very much on a person's habits. If you regularly drink in the same pub, buy a newspaper in the same newsagent, share a hobby or interest with other locals etc. then you can build up some kind of network. Until this Summer I lived in Harrow for 13 years but mostly worked and socialised in other parts of London. I was on nodding terms with several local shopkeepers or people that worked in my local supermarket. I could even make small talk with some of my neighbours but people tended to come and go quite frequently from the area and mostly I would only nod 'Alright' to as we passed.
The one exception to this was (and this is a sad indictment of my life) a lady that worked in my local pharmacy. Since I had my illness a few years back I have been taking medication ever since and that has meant regular prescriptions have to be filled. The process started off pretty anonymously but one day when I was waiting in the shop for my medication she approached me and said that she always liked it when I came into the shop because I am 'always very polite' and have 'a lovely calm disposition.' She then got quite embarressed as she realised that people only really come to the chemists when they need medication (and are suffering from health problems) so quickly tried to backtrack ('I mean, I'm not glad that you are unwell', etc).
After that we regularly made small talk when I popped into the shop. If it had been a pub rather than a chemist I am pretty sure that I could either have asked for 'regular please' or she might even had starting pouring before I reached the bar, it was that kind of relationship except in a chemist. This past year we discovered that we had this other random thing in common. I was planning to move with in with my partner who lives in the same part of Ealing that this lady originally came from while she was planning to retire with her husband and buy a place in Wales (not quite the town where I was from but a place I know quite well through childhood holidays).
Last week I made my final trip to my GP in Harrow (I am now registered with a local doctor) and took my last prescription to the pharmacy to be filled. As it turns out it was the nice lady's final week there as she was finishing for good and finally moving to Wales. We said our goodbye's and I plonked myself back on the bus to my new home. It all felt oddly significant. Now that I no longer visit that Harrow GP I have no obligation to visit there again (after 13 years of calling it home). At the same time the one person there that could recognise me and greet me by name has also gone and moved onto better things. It's been six months since I moved home but that felt like a proper ending.
I wonder where that kind of welcome will be found in my new community. So far my most regular interactions have been with the postie and the local chip shop.I'm not sure if that is better than the chemists. Maybe I should go to the pub a bit more often.
This week I have been mostly reading: The Hanging Tree by Ben Aaronovitch