I seem to revert to using LJ under extreme cases of self censorship.
This....
I've torn myself asunder.
I'm not a single solitary person. I've donated handfuls of my essence to various persona in my name.
The DJ
The Entertainer
The Gamer
The Creative
The Writer
The (job title here)
The Sexual
The Logical
The Emotional
Right now I'm just probably a slice of that emotional pie with some frustration on the side.
I can't be who I want to be to everybody I guess.
The DJ would be mocked for being Emotional
The Writer would be boring without it.
The Creative requires logic
The Logical can't reach conclusions based on emotion.
I can't even get along with myself for this.
I'm so goddamned tired of the social anxiety I feel sometimes.
I live such a filtered existence, I always seem to become friends with those who do not have such filters, because when they get to know me, they tend to be able to speak for me, and pick up when I'm lacking the ability to just "be" somebody at the moment.
So here I am, The Writer, The Emotional, fleeing to LJ because I don't feel safe with those titles on Facebook, Where I'm the Logical, the gamer, the entertainer, or myspace, where I'm the DJ, the Designer.
I come here when I feel vulnerable I guess, when I need to feel like whoever reads this *here* will understand that I'm not in a good place all the time. That despite my effort to pull it all together, I constantly feel like I'm dropping the ball somehow.
I'm only a good writer when I'm either extremely content or extremely miserable apparently.
Tragic.
I've torn myself asunder.
I'm not a single solitary person. I've donated handfuls of my essence to various persona in my name.
The DJ
The Entertainer
The Gamer
The Creative
The Writer
The (job title here)
The Sexual
The Logical
The Emotional
Right now I'm just probably a slice of that emotional pie with some frustration on the side.
I can't be who I want to be to everybody I guess.
The DJ would be mocked for being Emotional
The Writer would be boring without it.
The Creative requires logic
The Logical can't reach conclusions based on emotion.
I can't even get along with myself for this.
I'm so goddamned tired of the social anxiety I feel sometimes.
I live such a filtered existence, I always seem to become friends with those who do not have such filters, because when they get to know me, they tend to be able to speak for me, and pick up when I'm lacking the ability to just "be" somebody at the moment.
So here I am, The Writer, The Emotional, fleeing to LJ because I don't feel safe with those titles on Facebook, Where I'm the Logical, the gamer, the entertainer, or myspace, where I'm the DJ, the Designer.
I come here when I feel vulnerable I guess, when I need to feel like whoever reads this *here* will understand that I'm not in a good place all the time. That despite my effort to pull it all together, I constantly feel like I'm dropping the ball somehow.
I'm only a good writer when I'm either extremely content or extremely miserable apparently.
Tragic.