he says no one ever gives him 2nd chances... well he doesnt either..

[shattyrdxhopes]

i hate this
no one can trust me
everyone thinks i alter motives and agendas and the only damn agenda i have is saving a friendship
no one can see it though
why can't anyone have trust in me and see that i'm not trying to sneak my way in the kids heart
i don't give a fuck anymore
i honestly don't
the only thing i want is go back to being friends with him
all i want from him is a friendship
does he believe that???
of course not!
he thinks i have an agenda too
all because i was a fucking dumbass last year and was pysco now no one can trust me
i fucking hate it sooo much
i've cried everyday this week so far
i get somethign to a certain point then what do i do??
i fuck it up of course!
i mean come on! i fuck up everything good in my life all the time!
why shouldn't i know i'm gonna fuck up again?
and again
anf again
and again

i guess i deserve this though..
i'm a fuck up i fuck everything up
people can't trust me
i can't even trust me
my best fucking guy friend can't even talk to me without being afraid i'm gonna so pysco obessive on him.
any time i'm around him he thinks that i'm trying to get something from him..
I'M NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm not trying to do anything anymoree!!!
all i'm trying to do is be friends with him

but i guess it's just not gonna happen..
we've drifted too far..
it's just not gonna happen..
he'll always be thinking in the back of his head that i'm obessed with him and i'll always be thinking he hates me..

whatever..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK IT ALL!!!!
FUCK EVERYTHING!!!