Wilted with Regret

[shattrdillusion]

i want you
i need you
i love you
i loathe you

i want my life back
its all out of my reach
i prevent myself
day after day
little progress is made
yet it all fades away

i cry out for you
i curse your name
i push you away
i can't seem to let go

a shattered shell
memories taunt
small smiles
even after all these years
i can't let go

regret
remorse
relief
rejection

i'm at wits end
no one can change it
i want to go back
i need to make amends
what should have been said
i'll never have the chance

hatred
misery
joy
elated

knowing you're there
somewhere watching
you know the truth
even if i never said a word
hopefully i'll see you again
to make things right

i didn't hate you
i always loved you
i want to see you
i'll always miss you