Bitching.
Is it bad to be comfortable in a complete mess? Is it right to want to change something that you don't like?
I'm honestly asking because i feel like my life is a mess, yet i'm too comfortable/insecure to change anything. I don't have a job, a car. I don't want to work at fast food, but that's pretty much the only place around here that hires under 18. I don't want to work at fast food because then i'd learn the shit that goes on when food there is being prepared, and if i knew that, i'm sure i'd never eat it again. Ignorance is bliss. I want to build a bass for myself, or a guitar/amp and sell it, but i don't have the cash in the first place. I want a new computer that my dad has been saying he'd help me upgrade since January, but keeps getting put off. I hate the shit i go through with my girlfriend, but i don't want to break up with her because i don't want to hurt her, and whenever i'm with her, i cannot bring myself to do it. I don't know what college to go to, because i don't know what i want to do with my life. I don't know how i'm going to pay for college, because my parents aren't rich, and i have maybe $550 in my savings. The only things i find fun in anymore is being with my friends. I don't feel capable of having fun without someone else picking something to do. As gay as it sounds, i'm also feeling really detached because i haven't been able to play CS:S since Monday.
I think i really need to find something that will get some stress off me. When i have done it, a hookah plus my friends has really helped. Maybe i need to do that more often.
I'm honestly asking because i feel like my life is a mess, yet i'm too comfortable/insecure to change anything. I don't have a job, a car. I don't want to work at fast food, but that's pretty much the only place around here that hires under 18. I don't want to work at fast food because then i'd learn the shit that goes on when food there is being prepared, and if i knew that, i'm sure i'd never eat it again. Ignorance is bliss. I want to build a bass for myself, or a guitar/amp and sell it, but i don't have the cash in the first place. I want a new computer that my dad has been saying he'd help me upgrade since January, but keeps getting put off. I hate the shit i go through with my girlfriend, but i don't want to break up with her because i don't want to hurt her, and whenever i'm with her, i cannot bring myself to do it. I don't know what college to go to, because i don't know what i want to do with my life. I don't know how i'm going to pay for college, because my parents aren't rich, and i have maybe $550 in my savings. The only things i find fun in anymore is being with my friends. I don't feel capable of having fun without someone else picking something to do. As gay as it sounds, i'm also feeling really detached because i haven't been able to play CS:S since Monday.
I think i really need to find something that will get some stress off me. When i have done it, a hookah plus my friends has really helped. Maybe i need to do that more often.