Aug 11, 2005 08:24
ive been so lonely lately. all i want is to have someone to cuddle with, and be able to fall asleep next to. but i dont get that, because life seems like it enjoys punching me in the dick lately. and i know, i just have that sinking feeling, the one of the two girls, from the relationships ive ended, and now regret ending, is the girl that im supposed to be with. and theres no chance of either one of those happening. go me. go life. go being alone. i need a job too. im almost fuckin broke, and i need something to do with my pathetic life. if im not sleeping, im sitting at dennys or steak n shake. i have a good time, and im surrounded by people i love, but its still waste of life. i need to be back in school too. go back at it hardcore, and prove that i can do it, and im not a stupid bum. i need to find a girl too. i need to be back in therapy. i need to be back on medication. i need to get my car fixed. stop smoking so much. move out. pay my bills. get on a regular sleeping schedule. so much shit to do, and absolutely no motivation to do any of it. and im afraid that if i dont do something soon, shit is gonna hit the fan, and that would be no good. and i cant handle shit hitting the fan. im fragile enough as it is. i feel something coming on soon. be it good or bad, i cant tell, but i feel like something is going to change.