A Change of Winds
Before my therapy appointment today, I wanted to get out a few things. This weekend was an interesting one. We started out great on Saturday, quickly devolved into explosive anger with Gemma, then calmed, then another explosive anger, then more calm.
I honestly cannot explain it beyond supernatural means. I have been more calm and resilient this week. Audrey has noticed. I have been able to own more and admit wrongs to her. I have been able to move, even though I haven't felt it in a while.
Yesterday's sermon reminded me of a time, some 13-14 years ago when I felt like the best version of myself. I felt alive and I felt like I was taking steps in line with what God laid out for me. I still struggled a lot with sin, but I was in the right and best place. And when I was in that, God laid out for me great adventure. Life was full of awe and wonder and the possibilities truly seemed endless. I felt that same feeling in me yesterday--in a way like a reawakening. The verses that strike me are: Psalm 139:7-12.
I think that's another word & phrase to add for the year:
-Reawaken
-Rekindle the Flames
Added to:
-Reframe/Rebuild
As I sat with the sermon, I envisioned myself and Audrey up on a stage, talking at churches--telling our story. Sharing our heartache and shame. My heartache and shame. I thought of a book title:
-Get F@#%!&$ Help, Christian
Or
-Get Help, Give Help: How to Step in to Pain and Find Life