(no subject)
to those of you who wanted to know, the aftermath of the gyno appt - for me - wasnt too horrible. i certainly am in no hurry to do that again any time soon altho i know i will have to every year.. but it is also nice to know everything's normal in such an important part of your body. i definitely wanted to go home and take a shower immediately after. now i know why when people get raped they spend forever in the shower scrubbing their bodies. but i got over it. and i still dont like doctors. ...or needles.
today i found out easter is not at gram's like it has been, and should be. its tradition. holidays are a big deal to me. they are the only days in my life that go according to plan, and are relaxful, and which you spend with the people you love. but of course, someone has to come into this family and change it all. she cant just accept that we do things a certain way. she's "trying to be nice." well she can go to hell. i never liked her, but i can tolerate her. but when it comes to holidays... she cant just help out and be one of us. she has to butt in, change things, get into everything. ive got goosebumps and chills running throughout my body, and that ice cold swirling hatred in the pit of my stomach. you know that feeling where you hate someone so much, with such a passion, that you cant stand anything they do? even if its just the way they hold a fork, or the sound of their voice, or the way they walk. UGH. and yes, im venting. but dammit, AHH!
on another topic, ive been thinking about what ive been thru since freshmen year.. since high school is coming to an end soon. i wouldnt say ive changed, but ive been through a lot. the good and the bad, im glad. i accept it. its made me who i am, and im kewl with that. yeah. every day is an up and down rollercoaster. sometimes its underground longer that it seems necessary. sometimes it comes crashing to an underground halt. but it always goes up. and whatever goes up, must come down. just ask carlos mencia. haha. but yeah... it keeps rolling, maybe slowly, maybe fast, but still rolling.
did you know Nick, that i love you ;) lol
today i found out easter is not at gram's like it has been, and should be. its tradition. holidays are a big deal to me. they are the only days in my life that go according to plan, and are relaxful, and which you spend with the people you love. but of course, someone has to come into this family and change it all. she cant just accept that we do things a certain way. she's "trying to be nice." well she can go to hell. i never liked her, but i can tolerate her. but when it comes to holidays... she cant just help out and be one of us. she has to butt in, change things, get into everything. ive got goosebumps and chills running throughout my body, and that ice cold swirling hatred in the pit of my stomach. you know that feeling where you hate someone so much, with such a passion, that you cant stand anything they do? even if its just the way they hold a fork, or the sound of their voice, or the way they walk. UGH. and yes, im venting. but dammit, AHH!
on another topic, ive been thinking about what ive been thru since freshmen year.. since high school is coming to an end soon. i wouldnt say ive changed, but ive been through a lot. the good and the bad, im glad. i accept it. its made me who i am, and im kewl with that. yeah. every day is an up and down rollercoaster. sometimes its underground longer that it seems necessary. sometimes it comes crashing to an underground halt. but it always goes up. and whatever goes up, must come down. just ask carlos mencia. haha. but yeah... it keeps rolling, maybe slowly, maybe fast, but still rolling.
did you know Nick, that i love you ;) lol