and when I go mad, no one will notice
The following is the satirical speech I wrote for the optimist's oratorical contest that we have to do in Lit. I did a satire because I find the premise ("my hero is") to be a grotesquely trite one. It was mandatory to begin the speech with "My hero is..."
Have at it, if you will.
My hero is an ideal. Though it is from the other side of the tracks as optimism, its ability to supersede its oppressors is rather impressive. Say, it’s even inspiring! It always manages to stay out of the intricate spider web of fantasy, impracticality, and naivety constantly attempting to trap it. Cynicism is taking realists by storm and transforming mindsets on an international scale! Why, considering that heroism entails sacrifice, struggle, and ultimately overcoming dilemmas for the sake of others, cynicism is an obvious choice for a hero. Think of the cynical minds of today. Their success is widespread. If it weren’t for their idol and role model, they would have perhaps never begun contributing to the noble works of literature, philosophy, or indeed any other self sustaining genre of creativity. It is often times products of cynicism that enriches and expands our minds, and the devout cynics that create the works which inspire realism.
Perhaps society should even petition that cynicism be recognized as a hero. Think of the irony that would ensue! Once the masses realized cynicism’s heroic nature they would set about commercializing it. Cynics would revel in the bitter glory of being marketed and exploited. They would have to take obscure pleasure in the paradox of cynicism being combined with commercialism and propaganda. They would have to simultaneously look down upon and enjoy the idea of it. For while they would most often abhor the commercial world to once again develop and use nobility and popularity to their own benefit, they would also appreciate the ironic value in it being cynicism itself that is being so wonderfully received, accepted, and exploited by the media and the masses. This revolution would very nearly qualify cynicism as a superhero!
It is commonly known that superhero’s have action figures. This is an effective way of imposing on young minds heroic ideals and noble aspirations. Subsequent to society acknowledging the hero cynicism it would only be a matter of time before a cynical superhero were introduced. Friendly Neighborhood Cynic-Man would come complete with broken rose colored glasses and a half empty glass. Never before has a piece of plastic had the potential to encapsulate an ideal so completely! The paradox would continue! Freshly jaded parents would flock to the stores to buy their children the popular action figure, all the while understanding the absurdity of being a slave to the masses! Cynicism can inspire within all beings alike not so much to rebel as to become enlightened to their surroundings, rather than following them blindly. A leader, that’s what cynicism is, and who doesn’t want their children following a leader?
This wouldn’t just be an excellent thing for the kids, but the adults would benefit also. Whilst children were playing contently (and at the same time learning to think for themselves in a realistic way) parents would have an outlet to discuss their own cynical theories over coffee. They could arrange play dates which involved children joining together to play with Friendly Neighborhood Cynic-Man and Co., granting them an opportunity to brood over the latest atrocities of society in a wizened manor.
As for the kids, just being given the chance to play with such a cool figure, for lack of a better phrase, is incentive enough. The epiphanies to follow are just icing on the cake. The revelations that will take place are merely added bonuses. Oh, but wait, there’s more! What action hero is complete without his trusty, or at least present sidekick? Not even Cynicism could fill that void. That’s why the company manufacturing Friendly Neighborhood Cynic-Man will have also created his bitter sidekick Sarcasto! Sarcasto will come complete with a programmable computer chip so that you can customize your very own adages to be spoken in his voice dripping of sardonic enthusiasm. Sarcasto would also be provided with a drumset to go “DA DUM CH” with every derisive comment he utters. Together, he and Friendly Neighborhood Cynic-Man will take on feats of comprehension, they’ll go on pursuits of knowledge, they’ll combat simplicity and stupidity with intellectual stimulation and humor. Together they could change the world into an informed public always thirsty for new ideas.
Things have become ever so lucid by way of cynicism. Currently, it’s struggling as the black sheep of intelligence, but never does it weaken its position. Steadfastly does it remain in practical understanding of all the theories and views it adopts. For this reason, as well as the aforementioned attributes and future possibilities, cynicism is a noteworthy hero of today.
Have at it, if you will.
My hero is an ideal. Though it is from the other side of the tracks as optimism, its ability to supersede its oppressors is rather impressive. Say, it’s even inspiring! It always manages to stay out of the intricate spider web of fantasy, impracticality, and naivety constantly attempting to trap it. Cynicism is taking realists by storm and transforming mindsets on an international scale! Why, considering that heroism entails sacrifice, struggle, and ultimately overcoming dilemmas for the sake of others, cynicism is an obvious choice for a hero. Think of the cynical minds of today. Their success is widespread. If it weren’t for their idol and role model, they would have perhaps never begun contributing to the noble works of literature, philosophy, or indeed any other self sustaining genre of creativity. It is often times products of cynicism that enriches and expands our minds, and the devout cynics that create the works which inspire realism.
Perhaps society should even petition that cynicism be recognized as a hero. Think of the irony that would ensue! Once the masses realized cynicism’s heroic nature they would set about commercializing it. Cynics would revel in the bitter glory of being marketed and exploited. They would have to take obscure pleasure in the paradox of cynicism being combined with commercialism and propaganda. They would have to simultaneously look down upon and enjoy the idea of it. For while they would most often abhor the commercial world to once again develop and use nobility and popularity to their own benefit, they would also appreciate the ironic value in it being cynicism itself that is being so wonderfully received, accepted, and exploited by the media and the masses. This revolution would very nearly qualify cynicism as a superhero!
It is commonly known that superhero’s have action figures. This is an effective way of imposing on young minds heroic ideals and noble aspirations. Subsequent to society acknowledging the hero cynicism it would only be a matter of time before a cynical superhero were introduced. Friendly Neighborhood Cynic-Man would come complete with broken rose colored glasses and a half empty glass. Never before has a piece of plastic had the potential to encapsulate an ideal so completely! The paradox would continue! Freshly jaded parents would flock to the stores to buy their children the popular action figure, all the while understanding the absurdity of being a slave to the masses! Cynicism can inspire within all beings alike not so much to rebel as to become enlightened to their surroundings, rather than following them blindly. A leader, that’s what cynicism is, and who doesn’t want their children following a leader?
This wouldn’t just be an excellent thing for the kids, but the adults would benefit also. Whilst children were playing contently (and at the same time learning to think for themselves in a realistic way) parents would have an outlet to discuss their own cynical theories over coffee. They could arrange play dates which involved children joining together to play with Friendly Neighborhood Cynic-Man and Co., granting them an opportunity to brood over the latest atrocities of society in a wizened manor.
As for the kids, just being given the chance to play with such a cool figure, for lack of a better phrase, is incentive enough. The epiphanies to follow are just icing on the cake. The revelations that will take place are merely added bonuses. Oh, but wait, there’s more! What action hero is complete without his trusty, or at least present sidekick? Not even Cynicism could fill that void. That’s why the company manufacturing Friendly Neighborhood Cynic-Man will have also created his bitter sidekick Sarcasto! Sarcasto will come complete with a programmable computer chip so that you can customize your very own adages to be spoken in his voice dripping of sardonic enthusiasm. Sarcasto would also be provided with a drumset to go “DA DUM CH” with every derisive comment he utters. Together, he and Friendly Neighborhood Cynic-Man will take on feats of comprehension, they’ll go on pursuits of knowledge, they’ll combat simplicity and stupidity with intellectual stimulation and humor. Together they could change the world into an informed public always thirsty for new ideas.
Things have become ever so lucid by way of cynicism. Currently, it’s struggling as the black sheep of intelligence, but never does it weaken its position. Steadfastly does it remain in practical understanding of all the theories and views it adopts. For this reason, as well as the aforementioned attributes and future possibilities, cynicism is a noteworthy hero of today.