Another journal rant. Hehehe.
I've gone from the life of the dead, to the world of the living. Here's a journal update. If you care enough, you'll read it all, because there's something special on the bottom.
{YOU}
name: Tori
age: Eighteen. <3
place where you are right now: French class. ;x
<3 LOVE <3
do you have a crush: Yes, well, I sorta have two. ;x
do you have a bf/gf: no. i wish. haha.
do you love them: Doesn't apply now does it?! Thanks for rubbing it in! -tear- Lmfao.
do they know it: uh..
do they love you back: Your mom loves me. ;x
would you ever cheat on them: if i had a boyfriend.. no.
have you ever cheated on them: no.
do you ever think that they've cheated on you: Wtf. No. xD
do you confront them with this: ..
do they know you're taking this survey: Do you think if I had a boyfrind, I would tell him?
would you rather dump them or have them dump you: don't care. either one, bad bad bad.
[FIRSTS]
love: This guy named Tony. ;x
kiss: Once, when I was very young. Like, 1 day old. xD Boyfriend kisses? Bah, never had one.
date: Stupidest date EVER.
crush: He was 17, I was 12. He was hot, I was 12. >>;
time you sed i love you to someone [excluding your family]: the other day. ;x
bf/gf: Tony. Though.. he was an online boyfriend...
(HAVE YOU EVER)
cut someone: yeah, my mom when I was little
been paid to go out with someone: no.
pittied someone and gone out with them because of it: nope.
sed i love you when you didnt mean it: yep.
kissed someone and then regretted it: no, never kissed anyone. ;x
regretted feelings you had for someone: uhm, kinda.
thought you shouldnt have done something with your bf/gf: nope.
cursed your bf/gf out: no. ;x
regretted saying or not saying something to your bf/gf: yeh.
not said i love you back to your bf/gf: yes
had your bf/gf not say i love you back: i don't remember, but yea, i think so.
dated someone for their looks: no.
dated someone for the wrong reasons: yes.
dated someone to prove something to someone: no. ;x
had your relationship doubted: yep. :D
had your bf/gf leave without telling you: ...no. ;x
had your bf/gf kiss you and you didnt kiss them back: nope. ;x
wanted to just slap your bf/gf: YES.
told your friends a lie about a relationship: yes.
turned someone down: yeah.
rejected someone for the wrong reasons: no.
kissed before going out: no. ;x
told a lie to anyone to cover up a relationship: yes.
been forbidded from seeing someone: nope.
thought that your bf/gf was so stupid you couldnt believe that you were with them: yes.
been alone with them and did nothing: yeah.
slept in the same bed as them without doing anything: ..no.
thought they were really immature: FUCK YES.
questioned your reasons to go out with them: yes.
still wanted to go out with someone who had cheated on you: no.
still wanted to go out with someone after you found out what they wanted: just sex? no, i've only been out on one date *offline*
wanted to do something and they didnt: uhm, i always want to rape people. ;x
not wanted to do something that they did: no...
lied to them: yeah.
~DO YOU WANT TO~
marry them: this doesn't apply.. lol.
have kids with them: nope.
spend the night with them and then not see them again for a week: oh yeah babay. lmfao.
break up with them right now: i don't have one, biyatch.
--
another perfect guy thing. if any of you guys fit this, call me babes. ;) lmao.
*THE PERFECT GUY*
1. hair color: dark. brown or black.
2. eye color: blue.. or green.
3. height: taller than moi, 5'10"-6' is good. Taller than that is good also.
4. six pack: sure, as long as it's not like... so overexaggerated. ;x
5. long or short hair: prettiful shaggy longish hair, or straight long hair, or whatever. Hair doesn't matter so much
6. glasses: they're cute, but not necessary.
7. piercings: Lip, eyebrow, ears, nose/septum, nipple, whatever. ;x I don't mind.
8. scars: aww, adds character.
9. eyebrows: ..?
10. big butt or little: uhm...o_o;
11. chest hair: .. no thanks. please dear god no thanks. ;x xD UNless.. it's sparse. ^^;
12. buff or skinny: SKINNY!
13. straight teeth, gap: le straight.
14. funny or serious: both all at the right time.
15. party or stay at home: both. =)
16. should he cook or bake: sure.. not necessary.
17. should he have a best friend: he doesn't HAVE to.
18. should he have a lotta girlfriends: if he wants them. ;x
19. outgoing or shy: either works. shy guys are adorable.
20. sarcastic or sincere: both. ;x sarcastic sincerity.
21. should he love his mother: if she's cool, than yea. if she's a bitch, why love her?
22. should he watch chick flicks: why the eff not?!
23. would he be a smoker: i'd hope not, because i'm slightly allergic.
24. would he drink: once in a while?
25. would he swear: doesn't have to.
26. would he play with your hair: yes, but if he wanted to. ^_^;
27. one or more girls at a time: ONE.
28. would he pay for dates: sure.
29. does he kiss on the first date: =/ who is he?
30. where would you go to dinner: i don't know. someplace nice.
31. would he bring you flowers: sure.
32. would he lay under the stars with you: i would love him to death.
33. would he write poetry about you: if he wanted to. ;x
34. would he call you hunny, sweetie, or baby: if he wanted to.
35. would he hang out with you and YOUR friends: yeah.
36. would you hang out with him and HIS friends: i'd probably like his friends better than mine.
37. will he walk you to the door at the end: yes.
38. holding hands: YES.
39. soccer: meh.
40. baseball: no.
41. basketball: no. ;x
42. football: no.
43. water polo: no.
44. surf: YES.
45. skateboard: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
46. snowboard: omg liek yes.
47. sing: its nice, but.. not needed.
48. play guitar: YES. because then he could play guitar, and i could sing. woot.
49. play piano: yeah.
50. play drums: yeah. instruments are just to sexy, aren't they?
51. clean his room: messy rooms are hotter, but neat rooms are sweet. especially when they do it right before i go to visit. xD
52. paint, draw, sculpt: sure.
53. writes his own music: yeah, that's hot.
54. use the word dude: i do so why not, ya' know??
55. use the word tight: if he wants to. ;x
56. would he watch the sun rise with you: yes. that would be so sweet.
57. what kind of car does he drive: whatever he owns?
58. how old is he: my age+ senior in high school, or graduated. not older than 24ish.
59. what would his name be: whatever his name is, duh.
--
(bold ones apply)
01. I have asthma.
02. I'm obsessed with like Jelly Bracelets.
03. I think I was a mistake. Damn parents forget to use a condom.
04. I broke my collar bone when I was a baby.
06. I have passed out 5 times in my life from drinking.
07. I obsess over everything.
08. I rock back and forth when I'm nervous.[sway]
09. I still don't have any idea what I want to do when I'm older.
10. I'm disappointed in myself for fucking up school.
11. I don't take medications but I probably should.
12. More than anything else in the world - I love seeing people laugh.
13. I wish I wasn't an EC musician.
14. I was born in Cleveland, Ohio.
15. I have a really hard time trusting people.
16. I love my best friend more than I love any other person.
17. I love sleeping past noon.
18. My birthday is September 20th.
19. I have OCD.
20. I think drugs are stupid but I did them anyway.
21. I dislike myself.
22. I make a lot of mistakes.
23. I have a messy room.
24. I see things in a different perspective.
25. I want to live with my best friend in a weird painted apartment filled with our ... weird personalities.
26. I hate high school.
27. I very rarely have to pee.
28. I am a night owl.
29. I care about people more than they realize.
30. I am heartbroken.
31. I love movies.
32. I wish I was an orphan.
33. I'm picky about people.
34. I have a sore back.
35. It bugs me when people are stubborn. Even though I am.
36. I try to forgive but never forget.
37. I have been in love.
38. I want to be a better musician.
39. I wish I had something better to do than this.
40. I love you.
41. I really enjoy thoughtful gifts, even if they cost nothing.
42. I hate surprises.
43. I still love my brother even though he's an immature brat sometimes.
44. My pillow is a close friend of mine.
45. I don't like being complimented but it makes my day brighter none-the-less.
46. I think that the drinking age should be 18.
47. I love Heaven, even though I haven't been there
48. I never know how to accept compliments.
49. I love being alone.
50. I get along with boys much better than girls.
51. I hate awkward silences.
52. I love when people think i'm weird.
53. I love my friends.
54. I have a hard time letting people get close, because I fear they'll leave soon.
55. I wish I was a good person.
56. I HATE being stared at.
57. I'm not as happy as people think I am.
58. Girls always think I hate them. And they're usually right.
59. I hate clothes.
60. I'm easy to please.
61. I can't cook for shit.
62. I dont know my own effect on people.
63. I want to visit the make-up Drivers Ed class because I promised them I'd stop by.
64. My neck's sore.
65. My dreams are fucked up.
66. I rarely show my true emotions.
67. I have done the Las Ketchup dance before.
68. I hate when my nose is runny.
69. Friends have fallen for me.
70. I have a few best friends
71. I think jellyfish are scary.
72. I can make people laugh, but I don't mean to....
73. I love many different kinds of music
74. I always sing along with music in the car.
75. I hate ghost stories. They scare me!
76. I wish I didn't have to grow up
77. I love my friends.
78. I try not to over-analyze things.
79. I laugh at dead baby jokes.
80. I come off as weird.
81. I never express my feelings to people.
82. I wish Kim was still here.
83. I'm too self-critical.
84. I would like to stay alone in my room forever.
85. I hate having regrets.
86. I hate complaining but I do anyway without realizing it.
87. I only cry when I'm really really sad.
88. I hate when people say "OMG Just Kidding"
90. I think Kate Winslet is a dyke.
91. I love ice cubes.
92. I love eating things that are bad for me.
93. I go to bed at about 11:30pm.
94. I used to work nowhere.
95. I have never been to another country.
96. I can lose my temper very easily.
97. I don't know how to deal with a lot of stuff.
98. I dream about death every night.
99. I'm sensitive.
100. I hide emotions.
--
T h e | B a s i c s | a n d | s t u f f . . .
- Name: tori.
- Birthplace: margate.
- B-day Month: july
- Current Location: coconut creek/monarch high school.
- Eye color: blue, or sometimes green.
- Hair color: dark brown with blonde highlights.
- Height: almost 5'8"
- Righty or Lefty: ambidextrious.
- Zodiac sign: leo.
- Your heritage: english/irish/german/polish and some other shit. ;x
- Shoes you wore today: my black vans that have some navy and white on them. ;x like always.
- Your weakness: .. sex... or you know, i'm not going to tell you. ;x
- Your strengths: not sure. ;x
- Your fears: alligators and sharks and shit.
- Your perfect pizza: extra warm sticky cheese, pineapple, and ham. <3 or, sausage, mushrooms and pepperoni with extra cheese.
- Goal you'd like to achieve: to be rich&famous.
- Your thoughts first waking up: ..must get up. zzz.
- Your bedtime: my dad says it's 10, but i say it's when i fall asleep.
- Your most missed memory: ...missed?
- Pepsi or coke: pepsi. coke is gross.
- McDonald's or Burger King: Mickey D's, I guess.
- Single or Group dates: single. ;x
- Best friends: i guess..
- Boyfriend/Girlfriend: single.
- Adidas or Nike: adidas
- Lipton ice tea or Nestea: lipton is pimpin'.
- Chocolate or Vanilla: swirl
- Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino.
- Smoke: nope.
- Cuss: yeah, more than i should
- Sing: yep.
- Take a shower everyday: yeah.
- Have a crush: kinda have two.
- Do you think you've been in love: once.
- Want to go to college: yeah.
- Where: ucla or nyu.
- Like(d) high school: it's alright.
- Want to get married: yeah.
- Believe in yourself: not really.
- Get motion sickness: sometimes.
- Think you're attractive: i'm ok. ;x
- Think you're a health freak: i wish, but i'm not.
- Get along with your parent(s): rarely
- Like thunderstorms: yea
- Play an instrument: yeah. piano.
- Ambition: no.
- Country/Place you would most like to visit: many places, many countries
I n | t h e | p a s t | m o n t h . . .
- Drank alcohol: no.
- Smoked: no.
- Done a drug: no.
- Had sex : no.
- Made out: no.
- Gone on a date: no.
- Gone to the mall: yes.
- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no, but tempted to.
- Eaten sushi: yeah.
- Been on stage: nope.
- Beendumped: no.
- Gone skating: yea
- Made homemade cookies: no
- Gone skinnydipping: no.
- Dyed your hair: no.
- Stolen anything: that guys heart. ;x but, no, not really.
H a v e | y o u | e v e r . . .
- Played a game that required removal of clothing: no
- If so, was it mixed company: ...
- Been extremely trashed or extremely intoxicated: no, but buzzed once
- Been caught, you know: nope.
- Been called a tease: i think so.
- Gotten beaten up: no.
- Shoplifted: yeah. once or twice
- Changed who you were to fit in: when i was younger, i denied myself.
- Age you hope to be married: by 23-25. ;x
- Described your dream wedding: i dun wanna
- Thought about how you want to die: yeah.
G u y | s t u f f . . .
- Best eye colour: blue then green, then blue-green
- Best hair colour: dark hair.
- Short or long hair: short&shaggy&hot. with long bangs. heee. not like LONGLONGLONGbangs. but .. over eyes. sexy. [meh, i guess that works.]
- Height: taller than me.
- Best weight: -shrug- i like skinny guys, but i won't say no to thickish
- Best articles of clothing: ..? whatever he wears.
- Best first date location: don't know, don't care
- Best first kiss location: anywhere pretty outside.
I n | y o u r | l i f e . . .
# of drugs taken illegally: .. once?
# of people I could trust with my life: not even myself
# of CDs that i own: 16. ;x
# of piercings: ears.
# of tattoos: not yet
# of scars on my body: i don't feel like counting right now.
S p e c i f i c s . . .
- What kind of shampoo do you use? tresemme
- What are you most scared of? alligators&sharks.
- What are you listening to right now?; french on TV
- Who is the last person that called you? ...my sister, i think.
- How many buddies are online right now? i don't know, i'm not on aim or msn.
- How many are away: look above
- What would you change about yourself? my weight. ;x
F a v o r i t e . . .
- Colour: black, red, blue and purple
- Food: i like teriyaki chicken. ;x and mac and cheese.
- Boy's name(s): lucas and william, as well as ryan. ;x
- Girl's name(s): ryan, mikayla
- Subject(s) in school: lunch
- Animal(s): ocelots
- Sport(s): skating/boarding/snow boarding/anything with a board.
H a v e | y o u | e v e r . . .
- Given anyone a bath? my niece count?
- Got high? no
- Bungee jumped? no.
- Made yourself throw up?: no.
- Skinny dipped? no.
- Been in love? maybe
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? yeah.
- Pictured your crush naked? yes. hehehe.
- Actually seen your crush naked? not your business.
- Lied? i have. ;x
- Fallen for your best friend? yea, hard one time. he caught me though. [damn him and his feet. xD]
- Been rejected? yes.
- Rejected someone? yes.
- Used someone? no.
- Done something you regret? yeah.
R i g h t | n o w . . .
- Clothes you're wearing: jeans&red shirt w/writing&green and white button up.
- Music you're listening to: still french movie
- Time where you are: 2:05pm
- Annoyance thats... eh, annoying you: .. nothing.
- Smell you're... eh, smelling: my... class?
- Favourite artist: don't have one
- Favourite Group: don't have one
- Current Desktop picture: changed. chobits and other anime, as well as LOTR.
- Book you're reading: metamorphosis
- CD in the player: jessica simpson
- DVD in the player: none. ;x
L a s t | p e r s o n | y o u . . .
- Touched: my dad.
- Hugged: not... sure. it was long ago.
- IM'd: not sure. xD
- Yelled at: my dad.
- Felt sorry for: no idea.
- Missed terribly: tera and rach and mackie and abby.
- Felt loved by: no one
- Kissed: .. no one
- Spoke to: my dad.
- Cried to: not.. saying.
- Cried over: look above.
P e o p l e | A s s o c i a t i o n . . .
(Name the people that you associate with the following words)
- Open minded: all.
- Arrogant: ...i can't say. ;x
- Insecure: -shrug-
- Interesting: some of them...
- Random: ..nobody is random nowadays.
- Attractive: uhm, everett's cute? marcus is cute? -shrug- they're good looking, not.. bam in your face hot, though.. at least.. to me. ;x
- Smart: ...amber or myself. or tera. <3
- Moody: me.
- Ambitious: dunno.
- Healthy: -shrug-
- Shy: -shrug-
- Difficult: dunno
- Buffed: dunno.
- Bored easily: -shrug-
- Drunk: -shrug-
- Responsible: -shrug-
- Obsessive: dunno
- Angry: dunno
- Sad: dunno
- Happy: DUNNO!
- Hyper: dunno
- Talkative: dunno
- Illegal: dunno
- Porn: ...
- Cute: no clue
- Violent: me. no clue
- Unpredictable: no clue
- Repetition: no clue
- Drama: dunno.
W h o | d o | y o u | w a n t | t o . . .
- Kill: no one.
- Slap: look above.
- Get really wasted with: no one.
- Get high with: no one.
- Look like: angelina jolie
- Talk to face to face: meh. dunno.
- Talk to indirectly (on the phone, online etc.): tera, and some other peeps.
R a n d o m . . .
- In the morning I look like: as goddess
- All I need is: a boyfriend.
- Love is: the worst thing on the planet.
- Coke or Pepsi: pepsi.
- Flowers or candy: flowers.
Y o u r | t h o u g h t s . . .
- I know: that i'm a failure
- I want: a boyfriend.. to be loved...
- I have: a great deal of fear that everyone i love is going to leave me
- I wish: i could hug tera and let her know that everything will be ok.
- I hate: nothing, really
- I fear: alligators
- I hear: Nickelback
- I just: want to be happy
- I search: for something to make me happy
- I wonder: if i'll ever be completely happy
- I regret: being alone
- I'm hurt by: people who "love me" leaving me.
- I like: boys.
- I hate: repetitive questions
Life has been ok lately. Kinda crappy. I've cried a lot, gone through some stuff. I'm still *with* colin, but it just doesn't feel like it any longer. I started school, since my last update, I believe... or, I've gone further into the school year. I'm happy with my classes. They're great fun.
I've got some of the same friends, and such, but, I'm pretty much over everyone's drama. Uhm... that's all there.
I went to Halloweenie Roast. I got to see Shinedown, Saliva, Chevelle and some other bands live. I came so close to touching Brent Smith too. I wanted to die. I got sick, afterwards, because we got absolutely drenched. But, it was so awesome. Those bands are awesome live. Just pure sex.
Uhm, well, that's it, for today. ;x I guess... I guess I'll update again later. I'm going to try to update more, now. I've been using my GJ, a lot more than anything. So, I'll just copy and paste my entries from there into here. <3 ;3
Anyways, that's all. <3 Bye-bye.