i guess im not so strong after all....
guys really are all the same...i know exactly what things/questions make them fluster...to bad not one has the balls to give an honest answer, hell none have the balls to answer at all...its the pauses like that make me question if there really is one good one out there for me or if im better of just protecting myself...i used to be so trusting and able to wear my heart on my sleeve...but it got thrashed...i never thought id feel so raped and abused when i was the one who ended it...guess u learn from each experience...but did the lesson have to be so harsh?
they say they care and they arent like the others...frankly, ill believe it when i see it. words are useless when your more likely to cause me head aches and tears than u are to actually be there for sumthing more than a lil physicality.
you want me you gotta earn it...treat me like i should be treated...im not a whore so dont treat like one...every girl should be treated like that...if ur not getting treated like that then u deserve better...
i know what its like to get tricked into feeling like you need that person. as if having them determines ur worth...i know that everytime they cause a tear to fall that a small voice in the back of ur head says "you deserve much better than that"...yet youre scared, scared to be alone, scared to let go, to walk without that crutch...so you ignor it no matter how loud it gets and no matter how many other people tell u the same thing...
i know how hard it is to step away...to become an open wound....but i also know what its like to be free of that abuse, to know that no matter how hard it is and how much it hurts that deep down it was the right thing...i also know that those scars are the perminent reminders of what i did to myself and let sumone do to me, reminders of what i never want to go through again...but best of all those scars are what i look to for strength when i feel weak and cant help but fall to the ground and cry...
the scars that will forever remind me that someone out there will love me and be willing to treat me how i should be
yea i know that was way long but the thought came across my mind and so i went with it. if you read it all, your awesome and i hope you saw it as more than just rambling.
xoxox cass