Feb 03, 2011 02:52
Does anyone else hear wakka-chikka music when reading this? Note: this is an introductory scene in a piece of fanfiction which is truly intended to be an innocent domestic scene between two erstwhile TV characters, not a giant double-entendre along the lines of the opening to the movie The Bird Cage.
"I love you, Uncle Jim, but honestly, I think you're nuts." Peter Kirk shook his sleek auburn head, his faintly quirked mouth softening the pronouncement. The knife in his hand never stopped flashing silver, and the pile of chopped vegetables on the table before him grew steadily.
"Oh you do, do you." A slow grin edged along Jim Kirk's mouth. The oil in the pan spat at him, and he slid the thickest and largest of the vegetables in first.
"Not that my opinion will stop you. I think you've been crazy for years and, I admit, we've all benefited. And-oh, do the calawari seaweed last. It cooks fast." Peter leaned his tall, lanky form over the cooking island and set two overflowing bowls next to Kirk's elbow.
"Get the na'waht sauce from the cooler, would you? And speaking of nuts...get the Andorian bacca nuts, too." Kirk stirred the food with a rare economy of motion, relaxing in increments as the air filled with wonderful scents and a hypnotic sizzle.
The author is not a native English speaker, but the people who "edited" and "published" this story are. Seriously!
Ha ha, LJ wants me to label this as "adult" content, or not. I can't find "adolescent" in the drop-down menu. Drat.
criminally bad editors,
bad fanfiction,
phallic symbols,
tweeps,
k/s