(no subject)
I've been reflecting on life alot lately. Trying to place myself into different situations. Always wondered what would make a person happy and how some people may be happy and all rosy on the surface but beneath that there is a sense of fear, rejection, isolation, loneliness and insecurities.
In my situation, being close to someone is a risky move because you become open and vulnerable. It's always nearly accompanied by hurt. Not always intentional hurt from the offending party. But with closeness comes expectations... love, a degree of commitment, loyalty, trust, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, mindfulness... and alot of time these are the exact reasons we feel hurt and insecure... because most of the time people will always fall short of our expectations.
I'd always think to myself.. do they really like me? are they really thinking bout me as much as i am of them? Could i trust them as much as i want to? would the past repeat itself? I am just full of insecurities... and sometimes even when you have someone close to you, you still feel like you are miles away from them like you've got no one. Feel like they don't care or feel like someone else is on their mind.
Sometimes the truth does hurt. Dont know whether 2nd chances would work. i still do love him alot. Perhaps with Gods grace things would get better.. we'll see.
In my situation, being close to someone is a risky move because you become open and vulnerable. It's always nearly accompanied by hurt. Not always intentional hurt from the offending party. But with closeness comes expectations... love, a degree of commitment, loyalty, trust, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, mindfulness... and alot of time these are the exact reasons we feel hurt and insecure... because most of the time people will always fall short of our expectations.
I'd always think to myself.. do they really like me? are they really thinking bout me as much as i am of them? Could i trust them as much as i want to? would the past repeat itself? I am just full of insecurities... and sometimes even when you have someone close to you, you still feel like you are miles away from them like you've got no one. Feel like they don't care or feel like someone else is on their mind.
Sometimes the truth does hurt. Dont know whether 2nd chances would work. i still do love him alot. Perhaps with Gods grace things would get better.. we'll see.