Merlin Episode 1
I did this back in April 2012 when I hadn't had much sleep which typically = being super stupid.
"So let's start this off with "Merlin." It's a SyFy show that I've never seen and recently found that Hulu has all of the current episodes. Such is the surge of 5 am that I've brought it upon myself to start this. (It's now 8:43am. Jeebus, why? Going to have to upload this later!)"
So far we're off to a good start: Old dude voice narrating and dropping some cool sounding dialogue and introducing the story of Merlin. Decent intro with some shiny CG.
I lasted about 1:50 into the show before I saw this shot:
"What a dweebface."
I haven't thought of the word "dweeb" in a long time. It's a rather nice word.
So Mr. Merlin here is derping along happy when he sees a crowd. Well alright, crowds in this time period that aren't lively means that they're already staring at a dead guy or someone's about to be dead. Mr. Pendragon is like "HUR DUR MAGIC IS BAD." and then Merlin's like "Crap! I do magic stuff!"
PANCAKES AND LOLLIPOPS FOR EVEry---JEZUZ THERE'S SOME GUY'S HEAD ON THE BALCONY SILL. Oh wait, that's perspective. Got it.
Well of course the sentence is HEAD CHOPPY.
That's a weird axe.
Pendragon: "Now that the man is head choppied you are free to have a party, you filthy ungrateful poor people."
Old Lady: "AAIUHOIPHSGSIH I CURSE YOU AIHAIHGAG"
JEESSUS ON A CRACKER they sure got a scary lady to play this part.
Look at the expression of the guy behind her. "Oh good grief, not this again."
AND THEN SHE EXPLODES? WHAT. Also everyone starts walking away pretending that was all normal and shit. Just another day of beating groundhogs with shovels and exploding old ladies. /yawn
Why are there even guards there? Are they the Information Booth guards?
"We're not going to question you or anything. We've been standing here so long our brains have turned to mush and all we can do is thumb over our shoulders and say "There" when directly spoken to."
I hope all the locations in the castle are as conveniently labeled as this one.
Sweet, no one answered so that must mean I can go in and touch things I shouldn't.
FFFFffffurries.
Merlin startles the conveniently labeled court physician who then shatters HAHA I JUST READ THAT AS SHARTLES the railing with his butt and then promptly plummets to his bone breaky death. Only not really because the camera zoomed in dramatically in on Merlin's eyes--must mean he's gonna save him. Wid da furbedden majik.
Slow motion old man fall and then bed telekinesis. Kay bro.
Conveniently Labeled Court Physician is fairly accepting of the "I WAS BORN LIKE THIS" but resumes his suspicions. No one is BORN like that, it's impossible! No one can just be BORN with something. Wow, that sounds suspiciously famili--OH LOOK HE'S SITTING ON A BED.
Aaaaaand making a derp face.
I HEAR NO CHICKENS. Way to mess with people, closed captions guy. CCG, you an' me could be friends if you weren't a noise liar.
WHEN DID IT BECOME NIGHT? I might need to sleep for congruity's sake. I'm only seven and a half minutes into this and I've already taken 14 screencaps. This is going to be a long 40 minutes.
Merlin's mom can read and write although they're from a "small village." This is a literate world. That's nice. I mean, with all the convenient labels on the walls they'd have to be literate to get anywhere since the Information Booth Guards only say "There" and point vaguely with their thumbs without looking.
He could hold mine, I guess, but unless they have toilet paper as well as literacy I don't want to go anywhere near his hands.
Man, I know how that is. I got this sidewalk chalk for a gift 3 or 4 years ago that I haven't done anything with. I mean, I drew a lizard on the driveway once but...
Window clingy sigh girl is not approving of the Pendragon's pancakes and lollipops celebration.
Although definitely not of Ga'Hoole.
Do you know how much that sewing machine cost?
I can't have you running chip bags and small children through it anymore.
DON'T CARE. GOT WOOSHY CAPE.
Horse: "I wish I was born a chameleon."
Did we find our resident douchebag already? Oh, for some reason I thought he was Lancelot, not Arthur. Can't win 'em all, I suppose.
Oh, no, douchebag---I mean, Arthur is in trouble! CHAMELEON HORSE, OH HOW I'VE MISSED YOU. Ah, and now you're gone. I suspect we shall never see each other again.
"Come to my chambers tonight and we'll see if I can't put my finger on it."
Merlin's "Not sure if want" face.
"Let's take a look at what Arthur wants to put his fingers on."
Oh gods, once I start with the gay jokes I can't stop.
Looks like Merlin's in need of Lady Gaga's "Born this Way."
He could be one of her little monsters. ...That's one of the only things I know about pop culture.
OLD LADY IS BEING CREEPY AS FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--
A WILD DERP DRAGON HAS APPEARED! ...tho I do like the way he laughs.
These people are all me right now. I'll have been awake a full 24 hours in a few minutes...
Interesting...
Sounds more like a punishment than a reward.
Paint me like one of those French girls!
He wants to put his finger on it.
"So let's start this off with "Merlin." It's a SyFy show that I've never seen and recently found that Hulu has all of the current episodes. Such is the surge of 5 am that I've brought it upon myself to start this. (It's now 8:43am. Jeebus, why? Going to have to upload this later!)"
So far we're off to a good start: Old dude voice narrating and dropping some cool sounding dialogue and introducing the story of Merlin. Decent intro with some shiny CG.
I lasted about 1:50 into the show before I saw this shot:
"What a dweebface."
I haven't thought of the word "dweeb" in a long time. It's a rather nice word.
So Mr. Merlin here is derping along happy when he sees a crowd. Well alright, crowds in this time period that aren't lively means that they're already staring at a dead guy or someone's about to be dead. Mr. Pendragon is like "HUR DUR MAGIC IS BAD." and then Merlin's like "Crap! I do magic stuff!"
PANCAKES AND LOLLIPOPS FOR EVEry---JEZUZ THERE'S SOME GUY'S HEAD ON THE BALCONY SILL. Oh wait, that's perspective. Got it.
Well of course the sentence is HEAD CHOPPY.
That's a weird axe.
Pendragon: "Now that the man is head choppied you are free to have a party, you filthy ungrateful poor people."
Old Lady: "AAIUHOIPHSGSIH I CURSE YOU AIHAIHGAG"
JEESSUS ON A CRACKER they sure got a scary lady to play this part.
Look at the expression of the guy behind her. "Oh good grief, not this again."
AND THEN SHE EXPLODES? WHAT. Also everyone starts walking away pretending that was all normal and shit. Just another day of beating groundhogs with shovels and exploding old ladies. /yawn
Why are there even guards there? Are they the Information Booth guards?
"We're not going to question you or anything. We've been standing here so long our brains have turned to mush and all we can do is thumb over our shoulders and say "There" when directly spoken to."
I hope all the locations in the castle are as conveniently labeled as this one.
Sweet, no one answered so that must mean I can go in and touch things I shouldn't.
FFFFffffurries.
Merlin startles the conveniently labeled court physician who then shatters HAHA I JUST READ THAT AS SHARTLES the railing with his butt and then promptly plummets to his bone breaky death. Only not really because the camera zoomed in dramatically in on Merlin's eyes--must mean he's gonna save him. Wid da furbedden majik.
Slow motion old man fall and then bed telekinesis. Kay bro.
Conveniently Labeled Court Physician is fairly accepting of the "I WAS BORN LIKE THIS" but resumes his suspicions. No one is BORN like that, it's impossible! No one can just be BORN with something. Wow, that sounds suspiciously famili--OH LOOK HE'S SITTING ON A BED.
Aaaaaand making a derp face.
I HEAR NO CHICKENS. Way to mess with people, closed captions guy. CCG, you an' me could be friends if you weren't a noise liar.
WHEN DID IT BECOME NIGHT? I might need to sleep for congruity's sake. I'm only seven and a half minutes into this and I've already taken 14 screencaps. This is going to be a long 40 minutes.
Merlin's mom can read and write although they're from a "small village." This is a literate world. That's nice. I mean, with all the convenient labels on the walls they'd have to be literate to get anywhere since the Information Booth Guards only say "There" and point vaguely with their thumbs without looking.
He could hold mine, I guess, but unless they have toilet paper as well as literacy I don't want to go anywhere near his hands.
Man, I know how that is. I got this sidewalk chalk for a gift 3 or 4 years ago that I haven't done anything with. I mean, I drew a lizard on the driveway once but...
Window clingy sigh girl is not approving of the Pendragon's pancakes and lollipops celebration.
Although definitely not of Ga'Hoole.
Do you know how much that sewing machine cost?
I can't have you running chip bags and small children through it anymore.
DON'T CARE. GOT WOOSHY CAPE.
Horse: "I wish I was born a chameleon."
Did we find our resident douchebag already? Oh, for some reason I thought he was Lancelot, not Arthur. Can't win 'em all, I suppose.
Oh, no, douchebag---I mean, Arthur is in trouble! CHAMELEON HORSE, OH HOW I'VE MISSED YOU. Ah, and now you're gone. I suspect we shall never see each other again.
"Come to my chambers tonight and we'll see if I can't put my finger on it."
Merlin's "Not sure if want" face.
"Let's take a look at what Arthur wants to put his fingers on."
Oh gods, once I start with the gay jokes I can't stop.
Looks like Merlin's in need of Lady Gaga's "Born this Way."
He could be one of her little monsters. ...That's one of the only things I know about pop culture.
OLD LADY IS BEING CREEPY AS FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--
A WILD DERP DRAGON HAS APPEARED! ...tho I do like the way he laughs.
These people are all me right now. I'll have been awake a full 24 hours in a few minutes...
Interesting...
Sounds more like a punishment than a reward.
Paint me like one of those French girls!
He wants to put his finger on it.