The Heechul Invades Japan Challenge
Pairing: KamexHeechul (KAT-TUN and Super Junior respectively)
Rating: PG-13 (because I no longer have morals, apparently)
Challenge: A mention of Pi's Thai whores Golf and Mike.
Additional Notes: It took me forever to come up with a title for this, and it's not even that good. I referenced EVERYTHING I COULD THINK OF in this fic, including Chapelle's Show. Twice. Oh, that Wayne Brady. (Look, blame end-of-term/exams for the level of WTFery in this fic/my behavior.)
Metaphorical Pigtail-Pulling
"Why do I always get stuck babysitting?" Kame demanded angrily once everyone else had left.
Kitagawa Johnny folded his arms slowly and let the silence settle in while he pretended to consider.
Fifteen minutes earlier, he had called KAT-TUN (very recently returned to its fully-functioning six-membered glory) into his office and informed the boys that they were to play host for a visiting band none save Maru had ever so much as heard of.
"A Korean band?" Koki had repeated doubtfully. "Do they speak Japanese?"
"Maybe," Johnny'd replied noncommittally, but his eyes disagreed. They did not. "Could be. I'll have someone look into it." He leaned in and stared at them all seriously. "They're only doing one concert in Japan. They'll only be here a few days. You only have to mind them for one. Just make sure they have fun, stay out of trouble, and get to the press conference on time. I want you to show everyone that Johnny's Entertainment is welcoming and friendly."
What he really meant was unsettlingly clear to everyone. "I want you to show everyone that Johnny's Entertainment is not afraid of a little international competition." Any idea of this Super Junior group as a threat to JE was to be squashed immediately.
"Try to make sure none of them get themselves killed or anything," he added with a sarcastic smile.
"There's thirteen of them!" Jin exclaimed, chuckling pre-emptively. "Would anyone even notice?"
"Right." Johnny nodded. "Make sure too many don't get themselves killed, then," and something in his tone suggested he was only half joking.
"I feel KAT-TUN would be the least likely of all groups unfortunately associated with myself to make a giant mess of things," Johnny said as Kame stood alone before him.
Kame gaped. He could think of about fifty billion potential things that could go wrong, most of which involved Jin in one way or another.
"Think about it," Johnny insisted authoritatively. "What if I had settled on Kanjani?" He scowled. "They'd probably show up at the conference drunk and tattooed."
Kame clenched his jaw; Johnny had hit on a touchy topic for most of his idols, especially since Uchi and Kusano had been brought back at trainee status. Everyone felt they had some reason to be angry on their behalf, whether rationally or otherwise. Nonetheless, he stayed silent. He wasn't stupid, after all.
"Or how about NEWS?" Johnny continued as if he hadn't noticed Kame's reaction, although it was obvious he was pointedly ignoring it. "They can barely keep track of themselves. No one would have to worry about Super Junior getting themselves killed, since Nishikido would probably kill them himself. And the last thing Yamashita needs is another international harem."
As Johnny laughed hollowly, Kame muttered something spitefully under his breath, not so much from actual anger at the subjects as it was an attempt at releasing some misdirected anger. Unfortunately for him, Johnny caught the general gist.
"The Thai Whores, as you call them, have names, you know."
"'Golf and Mike' are not real names!" Kame shot back without taking a moment to contemplate exactly whom he was yelling at. The cold look he received let him know he was on thin ice, and he had no other option than to keep his mouth shut and accept his distasteful fate.
It wasn't until later that Kame realized Kitagawa had not bothered to mention any of the elder groups, focusing only on those still fully under his thumb. He could understand the exclusion of Tackey and Tsubasa, or KinKi Kids, who would obviously be outnumbered nearly seven-to-one, a situation even Kame considered unfair. But, say, SMAP, or TOKIO?
It was because, Kame knew, they were too old, too experienced to be pushed around by their boss anymore. And he wished vehemently that he could say the same for himself.
And so it was that Kame found himself tapping his foot against the airport tiling the next day at an hour at which he would much rather not yet be awake. (Not to say that he would otherwise still be asleep, simply that he would rather be unconscious than forced to keep a baker's dozen of complete strangers entertained for an entire day.)
Once the day got started, Kame began to tentatively wonder if it might not be as much of a pain as he had originally anticipated. It had started off a little rocky ("Um, guys? We didn't really think this through, did we? Can we actually fit nineteen people into a van?" "Eh, we're skinny. We'll make it work." "Hear that, Jin? You'll need to suck in that gut of yours." "Hey. I will smack you down, Taguchi!"), but once everyone piled in and they were on their way, things seemed practically bearable.
Introductions proved a little tricky. After an abortive effort to get Jin to translate a bit (his English had apparently not improved at all during his absence, which was a staggering surprise to absolutely no one), a quick system was set up. One of the Super Junior boys (Kibum, Kame learned shortly after) introduced his group member by member in competent English, and Ueda, who was driving, translated into Japanese. When their introductions were done, Ueda did the same for his own group. There was much awkward bowing and the occasional handshake, made all the more awkward by the fact that several of the boys with smaller builds had been forced to sit on their bandmates laps due to lack of space, and there was still little enough room that everyone was crammed elbow-to-elbow anyway. ("Don't worry," Junno had assured an anxious Ueda. "We won't get pulled over. We're JE, y'know, and JE are the law." Ueda hadn't looked very reassured, but didn't argue.)
Names he couldn't remember and faces he didn't recognize. It reminded Kame of when he'd joined JE.
He shivered almost imperceptibly.
The boy to his immediate left, pressed up against him for lack of other option, elbowed him in the ribs and spat something Kame couldn't understand but got the general gist of. His head snapped to meet the boy's eyes, meeting their steady, icy glare with a disapproving, disdainful glance of his own.
"Bitch," he hissed, mostly because he decided if he couldn't understand the effeminate boy, the same should true in the opposite respect.
The returning furious glare told Kame the boy wanted to reply, but any response was drowned out by a sudden chant. He wasn't sure who started it; it seemed as if three or four boys started at about the same time. (Kame was, of course, willing to bet Jin was the instigator.) Regardless of its genesis, general consensus seemed to indicate that lunch would be McDonald's.
Ueda enlisted Kibum's help to try to argue it in three different languages, but when Sungmin threatened to start crying, Ueda heaved a sigh of defeat and flipped on the turn signal.
Jin was more or less bouncing off the walls by the time they approached the counter (which, unsurprisingly, did nothing to alleviate Kame's previous suspicions), but things went disconcertingly smoothly. When a quick check proved that all nineteen meals had been made and divvied up accurately, Junno proclaimed it to be a miracle, and several of the youngest Super Junior boys took it as a cue to start singing. It was so incredibly cute that Kame had to fight to suppress a smile.
Drama started up again when Jin realized that Sungmin, who had ordered a Happy Meal, had gotten a toy with his food. Jin, of course, had not. He tugged on Kame's sleeve with enough force to set the boy off balance and nearly knock him over.
"Kame, Kame, I want a toy too!" he wailed.
Kibum's sleeve received similar treatment, and a few confused words passed between him and Ueda. Not needing an explanation, Kame shook his arm free, marched to the counter, emptied a large portion of the surprisingly meagre contents of his wallet into the hand of the girl behind the counter, and handed out the small, overpriced plastic toys. He managed to suppress his irritation when he witnessed the majority immediately change hands, everyone wanting someone else's, but nearly lost it when one hit him in the back of the head. He turned on his heel, nostrils flaring, and was completely unsurprised to see the slender, bitchy boy from before gracefully retrieving the object from the floor with a smug smirk. He uttered a few words in feigned apology and strutted back to his place at the back of his group with his nose in the air.
"He said he didn't mean to do that," Junno said doubtfully.
"You speak Korean?" Kame demanded through clenched teeth.
Junno raised his hand, index finger and thumb only millimetres apart. "Very, very, very little bit," he admitted.
Kame still kind of wanted to hurt him.
Instead he settled for pushing the toy he'd for some reason purchased for himself into the hand of a random Super Junior boy (Hankyung, not that he realized it, who uttered a few startled and mispronounced words of thanks that he would later be mocked for) and his pseudo-meal into the hands of Jin ("Better not eat that, Akanishi. You'll get fat. Well, fatter." "Taguchi. Is Akanishi gonna have to choke a bitch?") before declaring to the group, not caring who understood, that he'd be in the McWashroom if anyone needed him.
Kame splashed cold water on his face, rubbing at his eyelids and heaving an enormous sigh. He tried to pretend for a moment that he was still in bed, that this day had not yet happened, that maybe it never would. He imagined rolling over and falling back asleep, not worrying about having anywhere to be or anything to do. Little silver stars burst behind his eyelids and he sighed again.
He was less than impressed when he felt bony fingers seize his shirt collar, drag him a good half-dozen yards, and slam him up against a stall door.
"The fuck," he cried, not angry, not irritated, just exasperated at this point.
Heechul, that was the boy's name, Kame remembered suddenly, the way that sudden realizations have a way of occurring to a person at the strangest of times; he could hear the name in Kibum's voice in his mind, knowing it was a pronunciation he'd have infinite trouble managing himself. Suddenly he hated that name.
"The fuck is your problem?" Heechul hissed shrilly, his fingers flexing spasmodically, gripping the collar tighter and tighter, making Kame want to gag. Kame folded his hands around the skeletal wrists, sinking his nails into the boy's flesh, but Heechul staunchly refused to let go. Glaring, Kame resolved to keep up likewise.
"You know Japanese?" Kame demanded, pulsating his fingers with each syllable.
"I know enough," Heechul spat back.
"Well the fuck is your problem?"
They glared at each other for a very long moment.
Then Heechul kissed him.
It wasn't a soft, tentative kiss, or even awkward but sincere. It was forceful and fuelled with anger, all teeth and pushing, and Kame would never, ever admit it, but it was good.
Heechul pulled back, leaving Kame gasping and glaring, and hissed, "I asked first."
"What's my problem?" Kame shot back furiously. "You are, you and your band and your company and Jin and my goddamn band and Johnny and the whole world right now and it's not helping that you're bleeding on my shirt." He seethed.
"Your shirt is red," Heechul observed disdainfully. "And I wouldn't be bleeding on you if you'd let go of my wrists."
"I'll let go when you let go of my shirt!" Kame cried.
An electric moment of silence ensued, and both parties glowered.
Kame was the first to speak.
"Oh, fuck it," he announced, releasing his grip on Heechul's wrists in order to seize the Korean boy by the scruff of the neck, drag him into the stall, and slam him up against the other side of the door.
"Going to try to work out some of that anger?" Heechul inquired in a voice so disturbingly seductive it was almost a purr.
Kame's response, though purely physical, indicated the affirmative.
* * *
Ueda shuffled over to Kame with three Korean boys pretty much attached to him.
"Kame."
"Ueda." Kame nodded and blinked. Standing beside Ueda with his hand lightly on the boy's arm in the manner of a child trying not to get lost in a crowd was Kibum. Holding tightly to Kibum's hand and staring fixedly at the tiles with his lips pursed was a boy Kame vaguely recognized but whose name he could not remember. Holding that boy's hand and glancing about with an absent smile was one of the boys who had randomly broken into song earlier.
"What's up?"
Ueda glanced at the boys attached to him, sighed, and gestured for the first unidentified boy to start talking. As he spoke, Kibum translated for Ueda, and Ueda translated for Kame.
"This is Shiwon. He wants to apologize for the way Heechul's been acting. He says he doesn't normally act like-- wait, really? He doesn't? You're sure?"
Kibum looked equally baffled by the claim, but the boy shook his head emphatically. Kibum sighed and patted him on the head.
"Oh, that's all right," Kame replied with a quick Yuuki-calibre smile. "And, er, who's he, then?" He indicated the third Super Junior boy.
"Hm?" Ueda glanced over. "Oh, that's Yesung. I don't know. These boys are attached to each other or something. They can't travel in groups of less than three, I think."
Yesung smiled and waved upon hearing his name.
Kame waved back.
Kibum and Ueda looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and sighed.
* * *
"So it seems everybody had a good time after all," Kangin observed with a huge grin, resting his hands on the top of Heechul's head and his chin on his hands.
"I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about," Heechul sniffed, nose in the air, and pulled Kangin's arms down to settle about his shoulders.
Kangin laughed into Heechul's hair. "Heechul, everyone saw you follow that skinny kid into the washroom. And we all heard you screaming."
Heechul pretended to be scandalized. "And you didn't rush in to make sure I was all right? I am appalled."
Kangin laughed harder. "Yeah, it wasn't that kind of screaming and you know it. I think we've all heard that scream before." He peeked over Heechul's head to survey the rest of his band. "Some of us more than others," he added pointedly.
Donghae grinned sheepishly and became suddenly fascinated by a spot on the carpet, and Shiwon pretended to have gone temporarily deaf because sometimes that just made things easier to deal with.
* * *
"Well, that wasn't the total catastrophe it could have turned out to be," Kame decided with a smile.
Koki and Maru ignored him, by now used to Kame's inexplicable mood swings (though they would never refer to them as such to the boy's face, what with their valuing their lives and such).
Junno laughed, because that was what Junno did; he laughed.
Ueda rolled his eyes and sighed; he hadn't understood much that had gone on that day, and wasn't going to start making an effort now.
Jin leaned in and examined Kame closely.
"You got laid," he announced.
"Akanishi Jin, my sex life is none of your goddamn business," Kame announced in response, but couldn't keep himself from smiling.
Jin raised his eyebrows suggestively. "We could always make it my business," he remarked, and laughed at himself.
Snorting, Kame shoved Jin, setting him off balance and knocking him over. "Is Kamenashi gonna have to choke a bitch?" he demanded.
Maru choked on the pocky stick he'd been eating, and it took three people thumping on his back for him to be able to form words again. "The hell, Kame," he said finally, half-glaring, half-smirking.
Kame rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean YOU, baka."
Rating: PG-13 (because I no longer have morals, apparently)
Challenge: A mention of Pi's Thai whores Golf and Mike.
Additional Notes: It took me forever to come up with a title for this, and it's not even that good. I referenced EVERYTHING I COULD THINK OF in this fic, including Chapelle's Show. Twice. Oh, that Wayne Brady. (Look, blame end-of-term/exams for the level of WTFery in this fic/my behavior.)
Metaphorical Pigtail-Pulling
"Why do I always get stuck babysitting?" Kame demanded angrily once everyone else had left.
Kitagawa Johnny folded his arms slowly and let the silence settle in while he pretended to consider.
Fifteen minutes earlier, he had called KAT-TUN (very recently returned to its fully-functioning six-membered glory) into his office and informed the boys that they were to play host for a visiting band none save Maru had ever so much as heard of.
"A Korean band?" Koki had repeated doubtfully. "Do they speak Japanese?"
"Maybe," Johnny'd replied noncommittally, but his eyes disagreed. They did not. "Could be. I'll have someone look into it." He leaned in and stared at them all seriously. "They're only doing one concert in Japan. They'll only be here a few days. You only have to mind them for one. Just make sure they have fun, stay out of trouble, and get to the press conference on time. I want you to show everyone that Johnny's Entertainment is welcoming and friendly."
What he really meant was unsettlingly clear to everyone. "I want you to show everyone that Johnny's Entertainment is not afraid of a little international competition." Any idea of this Super Junior group as a threat to JE was to be squashed immediately.
"Try to make sure none of them get themselves killed or anything," he added with a sarcastic smile.
"There's thirteen of them!" Jin exclaimed, chuckling pre-emptively. "Would anyone even notice?"
"Right." Johnny nodded. "Make sure too many don't get themselves killed, then," and something in his tone suggested he was only half joking.
"I feel KAT-TUN would be the least likely of all groups unfortunately associated with myself to make a giant mess of things," Johnny said as Kame stood alone before him.
Kame gaped. He could think of about fifty billion potential things that could go wrong, most of which involved Jin in one way or another.
"Think about it," Johnny insisted authoritatively. "What if I had settled on Kanjani?" He scowled. "They'd probably show up at the conference drunk and tattooed."
Kame clenched his jaw; Johnny had hit on a touchy topic for most of his idols, especially since Uchi and Kusano had been brought back at trainee status. Everyone felt they had some reason to be angry on their behalf, whether rationally or otherwise. Nonetheless, he stayed silent. He wasn't stupid, after all.
"Or how about NEWS?" Johnny continued as if he hadn't noticed Kame's reaction, although it was obvious he was pointedly ignoring it. "They can barely keep track of themselves. No one would have to worry about Super Junior getting themselves killed, since Nishikido would probably kill them himself. And the last thing Yamashita needs is another international harem."
As Johnny laughed hollowly, Kame muttered something spitefully under his breath, not so much from actual anger at the subjects as it was an attempt at releasing some misdirected anger. Unfortunately for him, Johnny caught the general gist.
"The Thai Whores, as you call them, have names, you know."
"'Golf and Mike' are not real names!" Kame shot back without taking a moment to contemplate exactly whom he was yelling at. The cold look he received let him know he was on thin ice, and he had no other option than to keep his mouth shut and accept his distasteful fate.
It wasn't until later that Kame realized Kitagawa had not bothered to mention any of the elder groups, focusing only on those still fully under his thumb. He could understand the exclusion of Tackey and Tsubasa, or KinKi Kids, who would obviously be outnumbered nearly seven-to-one, a situation even Kame considered unfair. But, say, SMAP, or TOKIO?
It was because, Kame knew, they were too old, too experienced to be pushed around by their boss anymore. And he wished vehemently that he could say the same for himself.
And so it was that Kame found himself tapping his foot against the airport tiling the next day at an hour at which he would much rather not yet be awake. (Not to say that he would otherwise still be asleep, simply that he would rather be unconscious than forced to keep a baker's dozen of complete strangers entertained for an entire day.)
Once the day got started, Kame began to tentatively wonder if it might not be as much of a pain as he had originally anticipated. It had started off a little rocky ("Um, guys? We didn't really think this through, did we? Can we actually fit nineteen people into a van?" "Eh, we're skinny. We'll make it work." "Hear that, Jin? You'll need to suck in that gut of yours." "Hey. I will smack you down, Taguchi!"), but once everyone piled in and they were on their way, things seemed practically bearable.
Introductions proved a little tricky. After an abortive effort to get Jin to translate a bit (his English had apparently not improved at all during his absence, which was a staggering surprise to absolutely no one), a quick system was set up. One of the Super Junior boys (Kibum, Kame learned shortly after) introduced his group member by member in competent English, and Ueda, who was driving, translated into Japanese. When their introductions were done, Ueda did the same for his own group. There was much awkward bowing and the occasional handshake, made all the more awkward by the fact that several of the boys with smaller builds had been forced to sit on their bandmates laps due to lack of space, and there was still little enough room that everyone was crammed elbow-to-elbow anyway. ("Don't worry," Junno had assured an anxious Ueda. "We won't get pulled over. We're JE, y'know, and JE are the law." Ueda hadn't looked very reassured, but didn't argue.)
Names he couldn't remember and faces he didn't recognize. It reminded Kame of when he'd joined JE.
He shivered almost imperceptibly.
The boy to his immediate left, pressed up against him for lack of other option, elbowed him in the ribs and spat something Kame couldn't understand but got the general gist of. His head snapped to meet the boy's eyes, meeting their steady, icy glare with a disapproving, disdainful glance of his own.
"Bitch," he hissed, mostly because he decided if he couldn't understand the effeminate boy, the same should true in the opposite respect.
The returning furious glare told Kame the boy wanted to reply, but any response was drowned out by a sudden chant. He wasn't sure who started it; it seemed as if three or four boys started at about the same time. (Kame was, of course, willing to bet Jin was the instigator.) Regardless of its genesis, general consensus seemed to indicate that lunch would be McDonald's.
Ueda enlisted Kibum's help to try to argue it in three different languages, but when Sungmin threatened to start crying, Ueda heaved a sigh of defeat and flipped on the turn signal.
Jin was more or less bouncing off the walls by the time they approached the counter (which, unsurprisingly, did nothing to alleviate Kame's previous suspicions), but things went disconcertingly smoothly. When a quick check proved that all nineteen meals had been made and divvied up accurately, Junno proclaimed it to be a miracle, and several of the youngest Super Junior boys took it as a cue to start singing. It was so incredibly cute that Kame had to fight to suppress a smile.
Drama started up again when Jin realized that Sungmin, who had ordered a Happy Meal, had gotten a toy with his food. Jin, of course, had not. He tugged on Kame's sleeve with enough force to set the boy off balance and nearly knock him over.
"Kame, Kame, I want a toy too!" he wailed.
Kibum's sleeve received similar treatment, and a few confused words passed between him and Ueda. Not needing an explanation, Kame shook his arm free, marched to the counter, emptied a large portion of the surprisingly meagre contents of his wallet into the hand of the girl behind the counter, and handed out the small, overpriced plastic toys. He managed to suppress his irritation when he witnessed the majority immediately change hands, everyone wanting someone else's, but nearly lost it when one hit him in the back of the head. He turned on his heel, nostrils flaring, and was completely unsurprised to see the slender, bitchy boy from before gracefully retrieving the object from the floor with a smug smirk. He uttered a few words in feigned apology and strutted back to his place at the back of his group with his nose in the air.
"He said he didn't mean to do that," Junno said doubtfully.
"You speak Korean?" Kame demanded through clenched teeth.
Junno raised his hand, index finger and thumb only millimetres apart. "Very, very, very little bit," he admitted.
Kame still kind of wanted to hurt him.
Instead he settled for pushing the toy he'd for some reason purchased for himself into the hand of a random Super Junior boy (Hankyung, not that he realized it, who uttered a few startled and mispronounced words of thanks that he would later be mocked for) and his pseudo-meal into the hands of Jin ("Better not eat that, Akanishi. You'll get fat. Well, fatter." "Taguchi. Is Akanishi gonna have to choke a bitch?") before declaring to the group, not caring who understood, that he'd be in the McWashroom if anyone needed him.
Kame splashed cold water on his face, rubbing at his eyelids and heaving an enormous sigh. He tried to pretend for a moment that he was still in bed, that this day had not yet happened, that maybe it never would. He imagined rolling over and falling back asleep, not worrying about having anywhere to be or anything to do. Little silver stars burst behind his eyelids and he sighed again.
He was less than impressed when he felt bony fingers seize his shirt collar, drag him a good half-dozen yards, and slam him up against a stall door.
"The fuck," he cried, not angry, not irritated, just exasperated at this point.
Heechul, that was the boy's name, Kame remembered suddenly, the way that sudden realizations have a way of occurring to a person at the strangest of times; he could hear the name in Kibum's voice in his mind, knowing it was a pronunciation he'd have infinite trouble managing himself. Suddenly he hated that name.
"The fuck is your problem?" Heechul hissed shrilly, his fingers flexing spasmodically, gripping the collar tighter and tighter, making Kame want to gag. Kame folded his hands around the skeletal wrists, sinking his nails into the boy's flesh, but Heechul staunchly refused to let go. Glaring, Kame resolved to keep up likewise.
"You know Japanese?" Kame demanded, pulsating his fingers with each syllable.
"I know enough," Heechul spat back.
"Well the fuck is your problem?"
They glared at each other for a very long moment.
Then Heechul kissed him.
It wasn't a soft, tentative kiss, or even awkward but sincere. It was forceful and fuelled with anger, all teeth and pushing, and Kame would never, ever admit it, but it was good.
Heechul pulled back, leaving Kame gasping and glaring, and hissed, "I asked first."
"What's my problem?" Kame shot back furiously. "You are, you and your band and your company and Jin and my goddamn band and Johnny and the whole world right now and it's not helping that you're bleeding on my shirt." He seethed.
"Your shirt is red," Heechul observed disdainfully. "And I wouldn't be bleeding on you if you'd let go of my wrists."
"I'll let go when you let go of my shirt!" Kame cried.
An electric moment of silence ensued, and both parties glowered.
Kame was the first to speak.
"Oh, fuck it," he announced, releasing his grip on Heechul's wrists in order to seize the Korean boy by the scruff of the neck, drag him into the stall, and slam him up against the other side of the door.
"Going to try to work out some of that anger?" Heechul inquired in a voice so disturbingly seductive it was almost a purr.
Kame's response, though purely physical, indicated the affirmative.
* * *
Ueda shuffled over to Kame with three Korean boys pretty much attached to him.
"Kame."
"Ueda." Kame nodded and blinked. Standing beside Ueda with his hand lightly on the boy's arm in the manner of a child trying not to get lost in a crowd was Kibum. Holding tightly to Kibum's hand and staring fixedly at the tiles with his lips pursed was a boy Kame vaguely recognized but whose name he could not remember. Holding that boy's hand and glancing about with an absent smile was one of the boys who had randomly broken into song earlier.
"What's up?"
Ueda glanced at the boys attached to him, sighed, and gestured for the first unidentified boy to start talking. As he spoke, Kibum translated for Ueda, and Ueda translated for Kame.
"This is Shiwon. He wants to apologize for the way Heechul's been acting. He says he doesn't normally act like-- wait, really? He doesn't? You're sure?"
Kibum looked equally baffled by the claim, but the boy shook his head emphatically. Kibum sighed and patted him on the head.
"Oh, that's all right," Kame replied with a quick Yuuki-calibre smile. "And, er, who's he, then?" He indicated the third Super Junior boy.
"Hm?" Ueda glanced over. "Oh, that's Yesung. I don't know. These boys are attached to each other or something. They can't travel in groups of less than three, I think."
Yesung smiled and waved upon hearing his name.
Kame waved back.
Kibum and Ueda looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and sighed.
* * *
"So it seems everybody had a good time after all," Kangin observed with a huge grin, resting his hands on the top of Heechul's head and his chin on his hands.
"I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about," Heechul sniffed, nose in the air, and pulled Kangin's arms down to settle about his shoulders.
Kangin laughed into Heechul's hair. "Heechul, everyone saw you follow that skinny kid into the washroom. And we all heard you screaming."
Heechul pretended to be scandalized. "And you didn't rush in to make sure I was all right? I am appalled."
Kangin laughed harder. "Yeah, it wasn't that kind of screaming and you know it. I think we've all heard that scream before." He peeked over Heechul's head to survey the rest of his band. "Some of us more than others," he added pointedly.
Donghae grinned sheepishly and became suddenly fascinated by a spot on the carpet, and Shiwon pretended to have gone temporarily deaf because sometimes that just made things easier to deal with.
* * *
"Well, that wasn't the total catastrophe it could have turned out to be," Kame decided with a smile.
Koki and Maru ignored him, by now used to Kame's inexplicable mood swings (though they would never refer to them as such to the boy's face, what with their valuing their lives and such).
Junno laughed, because that was what Junno did; he laughed.
Ueda rolled his eyes and sighed; he hadn't understood much that had gone on that day, and wasn't going to start making an effort now.
Jin leaned in and examined Kame closely.
"You got laid," he announced.
"Akanishi Jin, my sex life is none of your goddamn business," Kame announced in response, but couldn't keep himself from smiling.
Jin raised his eyebrows suggestively. "We could always make it my business," he remarked, and laughed at himself.
Snorting, Kame shoved Jin, setting him off balance and knocking him over. "Is Kamenashi gonna have to choke a bitch?" he demanded.
Maru choked on the pocky stick he'd been eating, and it took three people thumping on his back for him to be able to form words again. "The hell, Kame," he said finally, half-glaring, half-smirking.
Kame rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean YOU, baka."