Things I have learned about procrastinating paper writing in college
1) ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHEN THE PAPER IS DUE. Misunderstandings lead to pain, stress, and a night full of very unhealthy energy drinks. (No, I did not accidentally set the date wrong on my laptop and think it was two days earlier than it actually was for the entire weekend, wtf are you talking about).
2) Know your writing speed. If you know you average 500 words an hour and have a 2000 word paper to write, make sure you give yourself at least four hours to write the paper. Five if you have to do the research as well.
3) When doing the research and must use at least one book reference, make sure to check the book out of the library at least a week in advance. This gives you the satisfaction of saying "hey, I've started... sorta." to an annoying yet well meaning parent or friend.
4) By the same token, come up with a topic at the very least a week in advance, if not a thesis. Good prep, especially when you have to get the book out anyway.
5) When preparing to write the essay, lay it out mentally. Intros and conclusions can usually account for 150 to 300 words. So, if you have a 1,500 to 2,000 word paper, your layout may look something like this:
LOL TOPIC GOES HERE
Intro - 200 words
Topic 1 - 450 words
Topic 2 - 450 words
Topic 3 - 450 words
Conclusion - 200 words
Total: 1,750
Note that the total goal is neither the bare minimum, nor does it exceed the maximum. This gives the allusion of sustained effort, but does not force you to work too hard.
6) Always remember: YOU ARE NEVER AS FUCKED AS YOU THINK YOU ARE.
7) If you haven't learned to not procrastinate at this point, you're probably never going to, so all you people telling me the best way to go is to not procrastinate at all clearly do not know what an art! what a science! what a way of life! this is. That is all. :D
EDIT:
Rednaxela: Shaaarpie, 4 hours to write 2000 words at 500 words per hour leaves no time to edit :P
sharp|classy: pff
sharp|classy: what kind of decent procrastinator edits
sharp|classy: a good writer knows how to edit as hu writes
sharp|classy: and by "good writer" i mean "stephanie meyer"
sharp|classy: but that's just me
sharp|classy: ....
sharp|classy: i just compared myself to stephanie meyer
***You are now known as StephMeyer.
Rednaxela: :S
StephMeyer: LE LOL U GAIZ MY NEXT BOOK IS DUE IN THREE DAYS AND I HAVEN'T STARTED
Etherality: ....
StephMeyer: DOES ANY1 NO NETHING ABT MUMMIES
StephMeyer: IM THINKING ABT PUTING 1 IN MY NEXT BK
StephMeyer: WAT DO U THINK
***You are now known as sharp|papering.
Rednaxela: Sharpie achieves epic win and epic fail at once
*sharp|papering bows
sharp|papering: athankyew, athankyew
Rednaxela: epic win for deserved mocking
Rednaxela: and epic fail for being TOO adept at it
2) Know your writing speed. If you know you average 500 words an hour and have a 2000 word paper to write, make sure you give yourself at least four hours to write the paper. Five if you have to do the research as well.
3) When doing the research and must use at least one book reference, make sure to check the book out of the library at least a week in advance. This gives you the satisfaction of saying "hey, I've started... sorta." to an annoying yet well meaning parent or friend.
4) By the same token, come up with a topic at the very least a week in advance, if not a thesis. Good prep, especially when you have to get the book out anyway.
5) When preparing to write the essay, lay it out mentally. Intros and conclusions can usually account for 150 to 300 words. So, if you have a 1,500 to 2,000 word paper, your layout may look something like this:
LOL TOPIC GOES HERE
Intro - 200 words
Topic 1 - 450 words
Topic 2 - 450 words
Topic 3 - 450 words
Conclusion - 200 words
Total: 1,750
Note that the total goal is neither the bare minimum, nor does it exceed the maximum. This gives the allusion of sustained effort, but does not force you to work too hard.
6) Always remember: YOU ARE NEVER AS FUCKED AS YOU THINK YOU ARE.
7) If you haven't learned to not procrastinate at this point, you're probably never going to, so all you people telling me the best way to go is to not procrastinate at all clearly do not know what an art! what a science! what a way of life! this is. That is all. :D
EDIT:
Rednaxela: Shaaarpie, 4 hours to write 2000 words at 500 words per hour leaves no time to edit :P
sharp|classy: pff
sharp|classy: what kind of decent procrastinator edits
sharp|classy: a good writer knows how to edit as hu writes
sharp|classy: and by "good writer" i mean "stephanie meyer"
sharp|classy: but that's just me
sharp|classy: ....
sharp|classy: i just compared myself to stephanie meyer
***You are now known as StephMeyer.
Rednaxela: :S
StephMeyer: LE LOL U GAIZ MY NEXT BOOK IS DUE IN THREE DAYS AND I HAVEN'T STARTED
Etherality: ....
StephMeyer: DOES ANY1 NO NETHING ABT MUMMIES
StephMeyer: IM THINKING ABT PUTING 1 IN MY NEXT BK
StephMeyer: WAT DO U THINK
***You are now known as sharp|papering.
Rednaxela: Sharpie achieves epic win and epic fail at once
*sharp|papering bows
sharp|papering: athankyew, athankyew
Rednaxela: epic win for deserved mocking
Rednaxela: and epic fail for being TOO adept at it