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Once again I update at night. You never see me updating during the day, oh no. That's when my block is up. I'm happy, because other people are around, and I don't show my slowly increasing depression. That comes out at night. When no one else is around.. and it's just me.
Tonight I decided I need to get over a guy. I need to get over him, I want to get over him, because I don't want to keep running into dissapointment. Which is what's happening to me. It's been this way for a while... and i want it to end. I know for a fact that it will become nothing more than friends. I've tried talking to people about it, but only one actually wanted to help.
Paige,
lovedistortion, wanted to help. She said that she felt the way I do now, not worth it, and then today she was proven wrong and had an excellent day, ('Gratz btw Paige, Really, ^.^) But i know that tomorrow wont bring anything happy for me. She said I may never know, there may be flowers on my doorstep from a secret admirer... As much as I want that... it wont happen. I know it. At least.. not truely from a guy.
But yeah.. So once again I'm thrown into my downward spiral of depression I managed to escape for only.. half of May? Yeah.. Good thing I've decided (right this moment) to not let it show. At all. Unless it's here. Otherwise, I'll be SUPER happy, as if nothing is wrong. That way, ... *sigh* i wont fool anyone. My mom thought I was happy today because school was done. No. That's just my shell. It doesn't matter if I act happy, or show my depression. The only people that notice are a few friends...
...And for those few, I am forever grateful.
Tonight I decided I need to get over a guy. I need to get over him, I want to get over him, because I don't want to keep running into dissapointment. Which is what's happening to me. It's been this way for a while... and i want it to end. I know for a fact that it will become nothing more than friends. I've tried talking to people about it, but only one actually wanted to help.
Paige,
lovedistortion, wanted to help. She said that she felt the way I do now, not worth it, and then today she was proven wrong and had an excellent day, ('Gratz btw Paige, Really, ^.^) But i know that tomorrow wont bring anything happy for me. She said I may never know, there may be flowers on my doorstep from a secret admirer... As much as I want that... it wont happen. I know it. At least.. not truely from a guy.
But yeah.. So once again I'm thrown into my downward spiral of depression I managed to escape for only.. half of May? Yeah.. Good thing I've decided (right this moment) to not let it show. At all. Unless it's here. Otherwise, I'll be SUPER happy, as if nothing is wrong. That way, ... *sigh* i wont fool anyone. My mom thought I was happy today because school was done. No. That's just my shell. It doesn't matter if I act happy, or show my depression. The only people that notice are a few friends...
...And for those few, I am forever grateful.