Jan 17, 2009 04:21
There is something so overwhelming about logging on to livejournal. I feel excited and giddy because I know I will inevitably end up browsing my friends' long neglected pages and reliving the old memories we've almost forgotten. It is a glaring reminder of our long lost innocence and our naivety, our triumphs and our heartbreaking failures. Yes we all have triumphs and failures still, but there is something so fundamentally significant about the failures of our pasts. These failures took place at such an important time in my life, and the impacts of these failures still reverberate in the halls of my mind today and are reflected in my personality, thoughts, and actions. These failures have affected me so that they still have the potential to harm and even help me today. I still reflect on those failures when it comes to making decisions and taking action. I experienced these failures yes but no matter how dreadfully painful I learned some priceless life lessons from them. Unfortunately the downside is the fact that these familiar feelings from painful memories still seep in, like a thief in the night. Slowly but surely making their way into every nook and cranny of my poor unsuspecting heart. I am overpowered like a wounded calf by the immaculate power of a lion's jaws. I am overcome by these unwelcome feelings of pain and loss, suffering and hatred, self-loathing and utter confusion... These memories come to be known as the dreaded "nostalgia."
Megan