My meetings were somewhat propductive
Title: Start As You Mean To Go On
Pairing: Charles/Erik
Rating: R
Warnings: voluntary submission
Summary: Erik is Charles's willing captive now. But he still has a lot to learn.
Notes: This is from a prompt on the kink meme but I guess it isn't as dark as the prompt? I wrote it longhand and then left my steno pad in the meeting room. Stress, right? Also, this is post-spinal injury Charles. Now with AO3 link!
***
“I don’t know how to do this.” Erik is gritting his teeth and Charles doesn’t have to read his lover’s mind to feel the frustration and fear radiating from behind Erik’s wall of orderly thoughts. To admit that he doesn’t know - ignorance is dangerous in Erik’s world. He survives because he adapts. Charles knows: Erik is only willing to endure this for the sake of their…relationship is a new concept for both of them. But it suits, even given the strictures of Erik’s confinement.
Charles smoothes a hand over the close-cropped ginger of Erik’s hair. He’s never seen anyone so uneasy on their knees before. The quivering tension of Erik’s naked back makes Charles value this all the more. “You don’t have to know how to do anything.” Charles keeps his voice soft, keeps his hand on Erik’s head to maintain the physical connection. “I’ll tell you everything you need if you’ll just trust me.”
Trust - Charles can be honest with himself most of the time. He craves Erik’s submission because he needs, more than anything, the display of Erik’s faith in Charles. It isn’t a test though, never a test of Erik’s feeling; it’s a way for Charles to prove, over and over again, that Erik made the right choice when he stayed with Charles on that beach in Cuba, when he dropped that helmet in the sand, came to Charles as a willing prisoner more than a partner.
Submission is a tricky thing, Charles thinks - he’d never have asked for it, not from Erik who is still so bound up by the control another man had over his life. Shaw’s death was not a magical solution; Erik still feels ghostly fingers trail up the back of his neck, still make him shiver with nerves when group dinners grow loud and boisterous - it’s a frequent happening in the mansion with everyone trying to make their new lives fit around each other. Erik’s submission is an act of will that staggers Charles every time Erik forces himself to his knees.
But even though Charles is the one who is meant to the be the telepath in the relationship (that word again), Erik always seems to know what it is that Charles desires in the most secret reaches of his heart. He knows what Charles wants, better than Charles knows. Erik had
mentioned it one night when they were locked in Charles’s room, locked away from the images they presented to the outside world. It was most unfair, Charles argued, to be faced with his fantasies being offered to him while Erik rode the erection they’d spent an hour coaxing to
full hardness. Charles’s nerves flickered, inconstant signals different from how it had been before but no less satisfying for all that.
“You know I trust you.” Erik bites the words out, brings Charles’s focus back to the man kneeling beside his chair. Charles is riding deep enough in Erik’s mind to get more than a hint of how the metal in his chair is singing to Erik, keeping him calm and grounded just as much as the soothing hand Charles has kept on Erik’s neck. Charles pulls, careful and gentle, until Erik is leaning directly against his wheel and armrest. He wants Erik to feel safe.
Charles nods even though Erik isn’t looking up at him. “I do know that. Which is how I know you’re going to be good for me.”
The praise relaxes Erik’s shoulders until Charles can feel the weight of Erik’s body leaning against the aluminum and steel that Erik has spent hours modifying for Charles. The shiver of pleasure down Erik’s back is slight - but Charles can feel it from inside Erik’s head, with Erik’s own nerves. Charles is moving slowly, so slowly with Erik, but this spurs him forward.
“I like it when you kneel. Do that for me whenever we’re alone.” They will need rules. Clear expectations. Boundaries. Charles needs to get this right. He’d asked for safewords when Erik insisted they try the new arrangement; now that they are making it more permanent, the rest of the negotiations are making him sweat, for all that he’s the one ostensibly in control.
The negotiations are making him sweat but that isn’t the whole truth. Erik’s jerky nod of agreement is making Charles sweat as well. Erik is letting Charles do this, remaining a willing captive and bending to Charles’s will.
“Whatever I tell you, when we’re alone in this room, I want you to do it.” Charles won’t humiliate Erik in front of the others, not when it’s his goal to give Erik the space to earn his place in this new life. The children need to respect Erik - do respect Erik even though they’re still afraid of him. Charles might have more idle fantasies than even Erik can ferret out, but he won’t deny Erik his second chance for the sake of sexual gratification. “If you safeword at any time, I will stop without question, love. We’ll discuss it and go from there.”
Safe, safe, safe. He will keep Erik safe, both from Erik’s rage and Charles’s own whims. Charles projects as much calm and security as he dares. “We won’t play all the time, so I’ll also tell you when we’re done.”
It’s important to have limits, Charles thinks. And as much as he needs Erik to trust him, Charles isn’t interested in breaking Erik. He wants the man to bend, not to shatter. There’s a palpable rush of relief in Erik’s mind - the rush of it confirms that Charles is making the right choices.
After that, it’s impossible to resist - Charles draws Erik up for a kiss. He whispers sweet things against Erik’s mouth, tells his secrets to Erik’s tongue and teeth. Erik quivers in response, gives Charles his body and his will. “You are my own, my very best.”
It is a beginning.
Pairing: Charles/Erik
Rating: R
Warnings: voluntary submission
Summary: Erik is Charles's willing captive now. But he still has a lot to learn.
Notes: This is from a prompt on the kink meme but I guess it isn't as dark as the prompt? I wrote it longhand and then left my steno pad in the meeting room. Stress, right? Also, this is post-spinal injury Charles. Now with AO3 link!
***
“I don’t know how to do this.” Erik is gritting his teeth and Charles doesn’t have to read his lover’s mind to feel the frustration and fear radiating from behind Erik’s wall of orderly thoughts. To admit that he doesn’t know - ignorance is dangerous in Erik’s world. He survives because he adapts. Charles knows: Erik is only willing to endure this for the sake of their…relationship is a new concept for both of them. But it suits, even given the strictures of Erik’s confinement.
Charles smoothes a hand over the close-cropped ginger of Erik’s hair. He’s never seen anyone so uneasy on their knees before. The quivering tension of Erik’s naked back makes Charles value this all the more. “You don’t have to know how to do anything.” Charles keeps his voice soft, keeps his hand on Erik’s head to maintain the physical connection. “I’ll tell you everything you need if you’ll just trust me.”
Trust - Charles can be honest with himself most of the time. He craves Erik’s submission because he needs, more than anything, the display of Erik’s faith in Charles. It isn’t a test though, never a test of Erik’s feeling; it’s a way for Charles to prove, over and over again, that Erik made the right choice when he stayed with Charles on that beach in Cuba, when he dropped that helmet in the sand, came to Charles as a willing prisoner more than a partner.
Submission is a tricky thing, Charles thinks - he’d never have asked for it, not from Erik who is still so bound up by the control another man had over his life. Shaw’s death was not a magical solution; Erik still feels ghostly fingers trail up the back of his neck, still make him shiver with nerves when group dinners grow loud and boisterous - it’s a frequent happening in the mansion with everyone trying to make their new lives fit around each other. Erik’s submission is an act of will that staggers Charles every time Erik forces himself to his knees.
But even though Charles is the one who is meant to the be the telepath in the relationship (that word again), Erik always seems to know what it is that Charles desires in the most secret reaches of his heart. He knows what Charles wants, better than Charles knows. Erik had
mentioned it one night when they were locked in Charles’s room, locked away from the images they presented to the outside world. It was most unfair, Charles argued, to be faced with his fantasies being offered to him while Erik rode the erection they’d spent an hour coaxing to
full hardness. Charles’s nerves flickered, inconstant signals different from how it had been before but no less satisfying for all that.
“You know I trust you.” Erik bites the words out, brings Charles’s focus back to the man kneeling beside his chair. Charles is riding deep enough in Erik’s mind to get more than a hint of how the metal in his chair is singing to Erik, keeping him calm and grounded just as much as the soothing hand Charles has kept on Erik’s neck. Charles pulls, careful and gentle, until Erik is leaning directly against his wheel and armrest. He wants Erik to feel safe.
Charles nods even though Erik isn’t looking up at him. “I do know that. Which is how I know you’re going to be good for me.”
The praise relaxes Erik’s shoulders until Charles can feel the weight of Erik’s body leaning against the aluminum and steel that Erik has spent hours modifying for Charles. The shiver of pleasure down Erik’s back is slight - but Charles can feel it from inside Erik’s head, with Erik’s own nerves. Charles is moving slowly, so slowly with Erik, but this spurs him forward.
“I like it when you kneel. Do that for me whenever we’re alone.” They will need rules. Clear expectations. Boundaries. Charles needs to get this right. He’d asked for safewords when Erik insisted they try the new arrangement; now that they are making it more permanent, the rest of the negotiations are making him sweat, for all that he’s the one ostensibly in control.
The negotiations are making him sweat but that isn’t the whole truth. Erik’s jerky nod of agreement is making Charles sweat as well. Erik is letting Charles do this, remaining a willing captive and bending to Charles’s will.
“Whatever I tell you, when we’re alone in this room, I want you to do it.” Charles won’t humiliate Erik in front of the others, not when it’s his goal to give Erik the space to earn his place in this new life. The children need to respect Erik - do respect Erik even though they’re still afraid of him. Charles might have more idle fantasies than even Erik can ferret out, but he won’t deny Erik his second chance for the sake of sexual gratification. “If you safeword at any time, I will stop without question, love. We’ll discuss it and go from there.”
Safe, safe, safe. He will keep Erik safe, both from Erik’s rage and Charles’s own whims. Charles projects as much calm and security as he dares. “We won’t play all the time, so I’ll also tell you when we’re done.”
It’s important to have limits, Charles thinks. And as much as he needs Erik to trust him, Charles isn’t interested in breaking Erik. He wants the man to bend, not to shatter. There’s a palpable rush of relief in Erik’s mind - the rush of it confirms that Charles is making the right choices.
After that, it’s impossible to resist - Charles draws Erik up for a kiss. He whispers sweet things against Erik’s mouth, tells his secrets to Erik’s tongue and teeth. Erik quivers in response, gives Charles his body and his will. “You are my own, my very best.”
It is a beginning.