[1] - [Voice]

[sharpememory]

[Sounding slightly amused, but still stern.] Dear patrons. I'm disappointed to say that a certain item has gone missing from one of our passengers. If you've seen a stray notebook containing yellow legal paper, I firmly suggest that you return it to the library. No questions asked, of course

Comments

[buywithme]

Uh, Excuse me, Comrade? Is this a joke?

[sharpememory]

[Boggling at the 'comrade' bit on the inside.] It's horrible, but I'm afraid not. Sometimes things really do go missing on trips like this.

SO MANY PROBLEMS, BARRON.

[buywithme]

Your whole post is confusing. Why are you calling us patrons? Do you work for the Admiral?

[Pause]

And who's lost a notepad, and why didn't they post about it?

OH PREFECT. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

[sharpememory]

You haven't been wearing gloves, have you? [Prefect = OBVIOUSLY WORKED.] Because seriously. Look around you. We're on a cruise, yeah? That makes you a passanger, also known as a patron.

[buywithme]

Who wears gloves in February?

[Did he read something about people wearing gloves recently? Something important maybe? Like an inmate file? NAH PROBABLY NOT.]

Anyway, Comrade, this isn't a cruise, it's a prison ship. I'm guessing you're new on board?

[sharpememory]

I don't know, everyone maybe?

No, I've been here a while. And yeah, I heard about the prison ship thing. All just part of this no gloves roleplay thing, isn't it?

[buywithme]

Do you come from somewhere especially cold?

Are you sure? Because I have been here for a while, and I don't think we've ever met.

[Pause]

Wait, no gloves... roleplay? What are you talking about?

[sharpememory]

[Have a long moment of boggling, Prefect.]

You've been worked, I think. You should talk to a doctor.

[buywithme]

Worked?

[WAIT. GLOVES. WORKED. PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER, PREFECT!]

Oh! Comrade! Uh, is your name by any chance...

[Shuffle, shuffle, rustling of paper:]

...Barron Sharpe?

[sharpememory]

[PREFECT: BEST WARDEN EVER.]

Yeah, that's me. And you are...?

[buywithme]

I'm Prefect. Welcome to the Barge, Comrade! You are here because you recently died, and you committed...

[Rustle rustle, la la la, this is a pretty good file I'm enjoying here.]

Many crimes, of a wide variety back on your own world! Here, together, you and I will work towards redeeming you of your past actions, addressing the reasons why you felt compelled to be evil, and looking at how you could live your life without being evil in the future!

[sharpememory]

[WHAT IS THIS. So confused.]

Is this supposed to be some kind of joke? Did Philip put you up to this? Or Zacharov?

[buywithme]

No, Comrade, it's not a joke. You are an inmate here, and I have been assigned as your warden, which means I possess a file containing many details about your life, and am responsible for your well being and moral rehabilitation!

Neither Philip nor Zacharov are here, Brother, nor have I ever met either of them.

[sharpememory]

Look, seriously. This is starting to lose its charm. I really am not interested in playing whatever game you people are running.

And can I have this 'file' back? Taking my stuff is not a good thing to do. [He thinks that this file is his journal.]

[buywithme]

Comrade, it really isn't a game, you aren't experiencing symptoms of memory loss at present. You are dead. You have been extinguished by Zacharov, and now you are on the Barge.

If this were a game, it would be one based around the single least attractive scenario someone could possibly concoct, and no one would willingly participate in it.

[Pause.]

However, if you wish to see your file and verify that it doesn't fit the description of your notebook, then I can accommodate you?

[sharpememory]

That's ridiculous. I've never had memory loss before in my life and Zacharov and I happen to be on great terms. I saved his daughter, you know.

[Have a pause.] Yeah, we should do that. I want to see this 'file'. [He's starting to think you're working for the government, Prefect.]