It's not delivery, it's P'ZONE!
Note: seeing as how I don't post e/n, I'm not cutting this, and all of you have to read it.
As some of you might know, I work at Cedar Point, which is annually named the best amusement park in the world, for its unprecedented sixteen roller coasters and billions of other things. Meaningless accolades aside, I have a fairly cushy summer job--$6.25 an hour with a dollar bonus for every hour I work, and now in the summertime I work ~40 hours a week. I get all kinds of perks, including free admission and parking, cheap food, so on and so forth. My usual duties include sweeping floors, washing windows, checking in orders, folding shirts, and running a cash register. As one of the (very) few big strong heapum tough guys in the entire park, I also get to do some heavy lifting and move things.
On Saturday, the merchandise warehouse called me over to help them with something. I took a walk from my store, Park Plaza, over to the warehouse. I acknowledged the existence of the young lady who was standing there idly and I walked through the huge door into the world of cardboard boxes. Some guy with a pubic hair mustache asked if I was the dude, and I said yeah I'm the dude, and he gave me the rundown on my task. It involved lugging some 150-pound sunglasses cart to Millennium Force, which is like half a mile away. Pubestache asks if I know where Millennium Force is, I look at him like he's an idiot, and then he goes into greater detail about where to put it. Then he says I have to set up this umbrella and yadda yadda yadda. I'm too busy trying to look cool to listen to what he's saying, figuring, hey I'm a guy, guys figure things out by themselves all the time. David McPubestache says something interesting that wakes me out of my boredom--"You know where it is, don't you?" I looked at him, but saw that he was not looking at me--rather, he was looking at the chick who was at the door. Yes, the same one I previously mentioned. I took a closer look at her and realized that SHE IS THE MOST INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
Cedar Point has this program where they offer some jobs to college kids in the US during the summer. I guess it helps with the diversity of the company. Well, I know I said US a second ago, but let's expand that to Europe--specifically, Eastern Europe, where no one has any money, haha stereotype. This chick happened to be from Poland and is so omgsohotullcum beautiful that I think my jaw did indeed drop. I couldn't believe my luck, getting to hang out with this girl for a few minutes.
My palms now moist with perspiration, I grabbed hold of the bar on the sunglasses cart and wheeled it down the ramp. I followed Beata (pronounced: no clue) toward the big metal door by the games. I watched as it swung open, and Jon stepped in. Jon is this Asian looking dude from the same town as our fearless narrator whom I don't know, since we go to different high schools. It was cool that we lived in the same area though. BACK TO THE STORY! Beata and I ambled out onto the midway, and I gloated at everyone who was not in the company as this amazing chick (RACHTMAN MODE, INITIATE!). Eventually I asked her some trivial questions--what time she had started, and when she got off, etc.--you know, stuff you ask just to make conversation. As a terrible conversationalist, I did my best to try to not be hilariously boring, but failed miserably. I went for the megaton--I asked about how she liked America. She replied with a tentative, "Eh, it's different, hee hee", meaning she is an asshole communist bastard. I asked how long she had studied English--it was really very good--and she said "over ten years." I remarked that it was very good and she gave me this wonderful smile and a "you really think so?" kind of look. I felt pretty good about myself then! She said she wished she could travel more, but the man is holding her down, and it's something I understand: everyone works six days a week now, D:. More on traveling later. When we finally reached our destination, it had been about twenty minutes since I first saw her, and it seemed like 13.8394 seconds. I set up the "very heavy" umbrella with no problems and my ego inflated some more. She said "Thank you" and gave me a big pretty grin. I asked if there was anything else, but unfortunately she said no. I should have asked for a hug or a handshake, but I didn't, because I'm an idiot.
I sadly sauntered back to Park Plaza and wondered how I could talk to her some more. I could have just waited until my shift was up, but no, I needed to be in her presence much, much sooner (like two hours). At one o'clock when my break rolled around, I verily ran to Millennium Force, wondering all the while what I would say to her. Should I just give a friendly hello, pretending I'm taking a walk around the park? Should I stay for a while and annoyentertain her? Should I ask if she wants some water? (LOL) I crossed the railroad tracks and slowed down, not wanting to look like some dumb fag who ran to see some chick. I carefully creeped up in my usual creepy way, hoping not to give her a heart attack. She was talking to some dude, presumably about sunglasses, and I walked right on up! She was already smiling, and she gave an even bigger smile when I magically appeared. I smiled back and looked at the dude. He seemed a little disgruntled. And European. Fuck.
I said something like, "Hi well I'm on break and I'm on a walk so I thought I'd say hi bye" and quickly walked away. I didn't walk back the way I came, because that'd look like I went there for one reason only, and I didn't want that, of course, now did I? I think I have a little more sense than that. I walked back toward the back of the park, made a left at the lockers and switched directions, hoping to get back to the break area in time for some chips and a pop. I ate and drank and swore at myself for being so retarded. Then I realized that even though she is HOT EUROPEAN CHICK #1 I should have realized that I, Stupid American White Boy Alpha #30380138510398410384 am way below her and that I suck. I swore to myself the rest of the day while customers and colleagues alike gave me strange looks. Well, they laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at them because they're all the samemorons. I put the beautiful Beata out of my head for the rest of the day.
Yesterday was pretty kickass. I only worked for an hour and didn't feel like taking another 20 minute drive home, so I stayed at the park with the intent to ACTUALLY RIDE THINGS, which I have done a grand total of two times now. I rode Raptor and then Millennium Force (FRONT SEAT DUE TO UNUSUAL CIRCUMSTANCES OF BEING ALONE WHOO!), and walked down the big ramp to, you guessed it, the sunglasses cart. Along the way I literally ran into my uncle and cousin and we hung out until 3 or so. They gave me free food (yay) and we rode some things. Oh, by the way, Beata wasn't at the sunglasses cart yesterday, I think she's off Sundays. Actually, make that know, because I am amazingly good at being a weird stalker guy.
This morning (i.e. about 3 am) I awoke from my slumber and thought about Beata some more. I wondered what I could do to make her mine. Yes, this is what I do with pretty much every chick I see. I tried going back to sleep, but I just couldn't! So I started to imagine some wacky scenarios that will probably never work in reality. Didn't she mention something about wanting to travel more? Didn't I say "more about that later", or something? Yeah! I did! Here it is. I figured, hey, if she wants to travel, we'll travel. I know my way around, uh, the 15 mile radius. Buuut, if I do some swindling and bling blingin', I might be able to arrange a trip for us to Cleveland, an hour's drive away. In addition to that hour, I'd have to drive all the way to work to pick her up (she stays at the dorm there not at home of course LOL) and then go all the way back and etc. I asked myself, "Is she really worth it?" My head said "no you moron" but my heart, my heart my friends, I think you can answer for yourselves. I decided that yes! I will take Beata traveling. We can go to some of the museums in Cleveland, and maybe the Rock and/or Roll Hall of Fame! Wow I rule at being a good boyfriend. Now I just have to tell her my plan. This is where YOU, yes YOU the READER come into play.
I looked at the schedule for merchandise dudes like us during my break today and basically memorized it for every person I knew, like I do every week. I searched high and low for Beata Wozicjxoigjasodfisad or whatever her last name is, and at last I found it--permanently at the Millennium Force Sunglass Cart! w00t! There my suspicions were found to be true: she IS off Sundays. Hey, no big deal, I'll just ask for some Sunday off or switch shifts with someone at my store who is off Sundays and works Wednesdays (I'm looking at you, Amber Green! [who is not unattractive herself. That's an entirely different and far less interesting story.]) Beata told me Saturday that she started at 10:30 and got off at 7; the schedule didn't lie, it said the same thing. So now tomorrow during my break I will go speak to her again, hopefully without who I imagine is her stupid poor ugly polish boyfriend around. If some faggot supervisor comes to yell at me I'll tell them some lie and get off work, change, and go back in, ha ha they won't tell a customer to leave am i rite? Hopefully I won't completely freak her out by knowing her schedule and etc. I also won't be overly forward with my date idea. Rimmer taught me to be less forward! INTERNET TEACHES YOU THINGS! So tomorrow I WILL BE BACK WITH HOT EUROPEAN CHICK #1 DETAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
there is also a hot European chick #2 but I've never spoken to her. Fun fact: at one point both of them worked in my store, though not on my shift
As some of you might know, I work at Cedar Point, which is annually named the best amusement park in the world, for its unprecedented sixteen roller coasters and billions of other things. Meaningless accolades aside, I have a fairly cushy summer job--$6.25 an hour with a dollar bonus for every hour I work, and now in the summertime I work ~40 hours a week. I get all kinds of perks, including free admission and parking, cheap food, so on and so forth. My usual duties include sweeping floors, washing windows, checking in orders, folding shirts, and running a cash register. As one of the (very) few big strong heapum tough guys in the entire park, I also get to do some heavy lifting and move things.
On Saturday, the merchandise warehouse called me over to help them with something. I took a walk from my store, Park Plaza, over to the warehouse. I acknowledged the existence of the young lady who was standing there idly and I walked through the huge door into the world of cardboard boxes. Some guy with a pubic hair mustache asked if I was the dude, and I said yeah I'm the dude, and he gave me the rundown on my task. It involved lugging some 150-pound sunglasses cart to Millennium Force, which is like half a mile away. Pubestache asks if I know where Millennium Force is, I look at him like he's an idiot, and then he goes into greater detail about where to put it. Then he says I have to set up this umbrella and yadda yadda yadda. I'm too busy trying to look cool to listen to what he's saying, figuring, hey I'm a guy, guys figure things out by themselves all the time. David McPubestache says something interesting that wakes me out of my boredom--"You know where it is, don't you?" I looked at him, but saw that he was not looking at me--rather, he was looking at the chick who was at the door. Yes, the same one I previously mentioned. I took a closer look at her and realized that SHE IS THE MOST INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
Cedar Point has this program where they offer some jobs to college kids in the US during the summer. I guess it helps with the diversity of the company. Well, I know I said US a second ago, but let's expand that to Europe--specifically, Eastern Europe, where no one has any money, haha stereotype. This chick happened to be from Poland and is so omgsohotullcum beautiful that I think my jaw did indeed drop. I couldn't believe my luck, getting to hang out with this girl for a few minutes.
My palms now moist with perspiration, I grabbed hold of the bar on the sunglasses cart and wheeled it down the ramp. I followed Beata (pronounced: no clue) toward the big metal door by the games. I watched as it swung open, and Jon stepped in. Jon is this Asian looking dude from the same town as our fearless narrator whom I don't know, since we go to different high schools. It was cool that we lived in the same area though. BACK TO THE STORY! Beata and I ambled out onto the midway, and I gloated at everyone who was not in the company as this amazing chick (RACHTMAN MODE, INITIATE!). Eventually I asked her some trivial questions--what time she had started, and when she got off, etc.--you know, stuff you ask just to make conversation. As a terrible conversationalist, I did my best to try to not be hilariously boring, but failed miserably. I went for the megaton--I asked about how she liked America. She replied with a tentative, "Eh, it's different, hee hee", meaning she is an asshole communist bastard. I asked how long she had studied English--it was really very good--and she said "over ten years." I remarked that it was very good and she gave me this wonderful smile and a "you really think so?" kind of look. I felt pretty good about myself then! She said she wished she could travel more, but the man is holding her down, and it's something I understand: everyone works six days a week now, D:. More on traveling later. When we finally reached our destination, it had been about twenty minutes since I first saw her, and it seemed like 13.8394 seconds. I set up the "very heavy" umbrella with no problems and my ego inflated some more. She said "Thank you" and gave me a big pretty grin. I asked if there was anything else, but unfortunately she said no. I should have asked for a hug or a handshake, but I didn't, because I'm an idiot.
I sadly sauntered back to Park Plaza and wondered how I could talk to her some more. I could have just waited until my shift was up, but no, I needed to be in her presence much, much sooner (like two hours). At one o'clock when my break rolled around, I verily ran to Millennium Force, wondering all the while what I would say to her. Should I just give a friendly hello, pretending I'm taking a walk around the park? Should I stay for a while and annoyentertain her? Should I ask if she wants some water? (LOL) I crossed the railroad tracks and slowed down, not wanting to look like some dumb fag who ran to see some chick. I carefully creeped up in my usual creepy way, hoping not to give her a heart attack. She was talking to some dude, presumably about sunglasses, and I walked right on up! She was already smiling, and she gave an even bigger smile when I magically appeared. I smiled back and looked at the dude. He seemed a little disgruntled. And European. Fuck.
I said something like, "Hi well I'm on break and I'm on a walk so I thought I'd say hi bye" and quickly walked away. I didn't walk back the way I came, because that'd look like I went there for one reason only, and I didn't want that, of course, now did I? I think I have a little more sense than that. I walked back toward the back of the park, made a left at the lockers and switched directions, hoping to get back to the break area in time for some chips and a pop. I ate and drank and swore at myself for being so retarded. Then I realized that even though she is HOT EUROPEAN CHICK #1 I should have realized that I, Stupid American White Boy Alpha #30380138510398410384 am way below her and that I suck. I swore to myself the rest of the day while customers and colleagues alike gave me strange looks. Well, they laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at them because they're all the samemorons. I put the beautiful Beata out of my head for the rest of the day.
Yesterday was pretty kickass. I only worked for an hour and didn't feel like taking another 20 minute drive home, so I stayed at the park with the intent to ACTUALLY RIDE THINGS, which I have done a grand total of two times now. I rode Raptor and then Millennium Force (FRONT SEAT DUE TO UNUSUAL CIRCUMSTANCES OF BEING ALONE WHOO!), and walked down the big ramp to, you guessed it, the sunglasses cart. Along the way I literally ran into my uncle and cousin and we hung out until 3 or so. They gave me free food (yay) and we rode some things. Oh, by the way, Beata wasn't at the sunglasses cart yesterday, I think she's off Sundays. Actually, make that know, because I am amazingly good at being a weird stalker guy.
This morning (i.e. about 3 am) I awoke from my slumber and thought about Beata some more. I wondered what I could do to make her mine. Yes, this is what I do with pretty much every chick I see. I tried going back to sleep, but I just couldn't! So I started to imagine some wacky scenarios that will probably never work in reality. Didn't she mention something about wanting to travel more? Didn't I say "more about that later", or something? Yeah! I did! Here it is. I figured, hey, if she wants to travel, we'll travel. I know my way around, uh, the 15 mile radius. Buuut, if I do some swindling and bling blingin', I might be able to arrange a trip for us to Cleveland, an hour's drive away. In addition to that hour, I'd have to drive all the way to work to pick her up (she stays at the dorm there not at home of course LOL) and then go all the way back and etc. I asked myself, "Is she really worth it?" My head said "no you moron" but my heart, my heart my friends, I think you can answer for yourselves. I decided that yes! I will take Beata traveling. We can go to some of the museums in Cleveland, and maybe the Rock and/or Roll Hall of Fame! Wow I rule at being a good boyfriend. Now I just have to tell her my plan. This is where YOU, yes YOU the READER come into play.
I looked at the schedule for merchandise dudes like us during my break today and basically memorized it for every person I knew, like I do every week. I searched high and low for Beata Wozicjxoigjasodfisad or whatever her last name is, and at last I found it--permanently at the Millennium Force Sunglass Cart! w00t! There my suspicions were found to be true: she IS off Sundays. Hey, no big deal, I'll just ask for some Sunday off or switch shifts with someone at my store who is off Sundays and works Wednesdays (I'm looking at you, Amber Green! [who is not unattractive herself. That's an entirely different and far less interesting story.]) Beata told me Saturday that she started at 10:30 and got off at 7; the schedule didn't lie, it said the same thing. So now tomorrow during my break I will go speak to her again, hopefully without who I imagine is her stupid poor ugly polish boyfriend around. If some faggot supervisor comes to yell at me I'll tell them some lie and get off work, change, and go back in, ha ha they won't tell a customer to leave am i rite? Hopefully I won't completely freak her out by knowing her schedule and etc. I also won't be overly forward with my date idea. Rimmer taught me to be less forward! INTERNET TEACHES YOU THINGS! So tomorrow I WILL BE BACK WITH HOT EUROPEAN CHICK #1 DETAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
there is also a hot European chick #2 but I've never spoken to her. Fun fact: at one point both of them worked in my store, though not on my shift