Monday Minis: Valentine's Day: House (Adult fic 1/2)
Posting a bit early. Part one is rated adult for language. Major thanks to my beta, athousandsmiles . She suggested some of the best dialogue and I feel she is co-writer for this piece.
Valentine's Day: House
“Valentine’s day,” House grumbled and rubbed his eyes tiredly as Cameron unlocked the front door. “Differential diagnosis: Flowers, candy, and balloons turn people into squealing morons and render them more useless than usual.”
Cameron smiled at him mischievously over her shoulder before leading the way inside, and his tired brain began sending warning signals. That smile could mean all sorts of things, not all of them good. Following her inside, he locked the door and headed to the couch.
Dramatically, House slapped his hand to his forehead. “The contagion has followed us home! Weren’t you vaccinated?”
Cameron’s smile never wavered. “It’s just a Valentine’s gift, House.” She took off her coat and headed into the kitchen.
“A Valentine’s gift,” he repeated, staring at the bright pink package on the coffee table. “You give gifts to remember the sacrifice of martyred saints?”
Cameron came back with two beers and handed him one. “Works for me. Or, we could go with the more modern meaning of romance.”
“You do remember who you’re living with, right?”
Cameron rolled her eyes at him.
House took a slug of beer-he had a feeling he was going to need it-before sitting down and unwrapping the brightly-colored package.
His jaw dropped but he recovered quickly. “Anatomy 101, Cameron. Hearts don’t look like this. Although if you want to put something on my cock, a pair of lips would do. Preferably not synthetic.” He winked. “Wait, am I being punk’d? Wilson’s hiding with a camera, isn’t he?”
She took a sip of her beer. “Nope, no Wilson, no camera. But I can get the camera if you want.”
House just stared at her, seeing the wicked glint in her eyes. Cameron sat next to him and waited. And he honestly didn’t know what to say. There was no way she could be serious about this. Allison Cameron was living with him for Christ’s sake. How could she have gotten this for him?
Cameron laughed at House’s flummoxed expression. “Now I’m sorry I didn’t have a camera handy. But really, House, I think you’re missing how nice this is.” She took his hand and placed it on the shorts. “See how soft and comfy the material feels?”
He raised one eyebrow. “Comfy.”
Undaunted, she continued moving his hand up and down the red and white boxers and placed his fingers on the front seam. “See how much room there is in there for you?” She winked and slid his fingers inside, never stopping eye contact.
His mouth suddenly dry, he allowed his hand to move under hers but still had to stop the snarky words that struggled on the tip of his tongue. Then his fingers touched something else and he stopped in mock surprise. “You left the cardboard insert in? Are you saying I’m not stiff enough?”
Cameron leaned forward and said in a husky voice, “Well then, pull it out.”
House grinned, slid the cardboard out and gripped it in the middle, preparing to tear it in half. But instead of the gray, blank piece he expected, words leapt out at him:
House stared at the envelope, once again feeling that something in his gut that made him wonder how he deserved her, but then rallied. “Because nothing says romance like diesel fuel and destruction. I hope you didn’t expect anything from me.”
Her smile became a little sad. “No. I just wanted to get this for you. Something you’d like. Call it temporary insanity.”
“Infection,” he corrected.
“Fine, infection,” she said, with a little bite to her tone. “I didn’t expect you to get me anything, I just wanted to do this, okay?”
House sat holding the tickets, not saying a word.
Cameron shook her head at him. “I’m going to change, call for take-out, will you?” She leaned forward to brush his lips lightly with hers and left before he could respond.
He sat there, fingering the tickets, and a slight smile twitched at the corner of his mouth.
Part Two
Notes: This happened because I wanted to buy those damned boxers but had to come up with a way for Cameron to give them to him that stayed in character. LOL Part two will post next week.
Valentine's Day: House
“Valentine’s day,” House grumbled and rubbed his eyes tiredly as Cameron unlocked the front door. “Differential diagnosis: Flowers, candy, and balloons turn people into squealing morons and render them more useless than usual.”
Cameron smiled at him mischievously over her shoulder before leading the way inside, and his tired brain began sending warning signals. That smile could mean all sorts of things, not all of them good. Following her inside, he locked the door and headed to the couch.
Dramatically, House slapped his hand to his forehead. “The contagion has followed us home! Weren’t you vaccinated?”
Cameron’s smile never wavered. “It’s just a Valentine’s gift, House.” She took off her coat and headed into the kitchen.
“A Valentine’s gift,” he repeated, staring at the bright pink package on the coffee table. “You give gifts to remember the sacrifice of martyred saints?”
Cameron came back with two beers and handed him one. “Works for me. Or, we could go with the more modern meaning of romance.”
“You do remember who you’re living with, right?”
Cameron rolled her eyes at him.
House took a slug of beer-he had a feeling he was going to need it-before sitting down and unwrapping the brightly-colored package.
His jaw dropped but he recovered quickly. “Anatomy 101, Cameron. Hearts don’t look like this. Although if you want to put something on my cock, a pair of lips would do. Preferably not synthetic.” He winked. “Wait, am I being punk’d? Wilson’s hiding with a camera, isn’t he?”
She took a sip of her beer. “Nope, no Wilson, no camera. But I can get the camera if you want.”
House just stared at her, seeing the wicked glint in her eyes. Cameron sat next to him and waited. And he honestly didn’t know what to say. There was no way she could be serious about this. Allison Cameron was living with him for Christ’s sake. How could she have gotten this for him?
Cameron laughed at House’s flummoxed expression. “Now I’m sorry I didn’t have a camera handy. But really, House, I think you’re missing how nice this is.” She took his hand and placed it on the shorts. “See how soft and comfy the material feels?”
He raised one eyebrow. “Comfy.”
Undaunted, she continued moving his hand up and down the red and white boxers and placed his fingers on the front seam. “See how much room there is in there for you?” She winked and slid his fingers inside, never stopping eye contact.
His mouth suddenly dry, he allowed his hand to move under hers but still had to stop the snarky words that struggled on the tip of his tongue. Then his fingers touched something else and he stopped in mock surprise. “You left the cardboard insert in? Are you saying I’m not stiff enough?”
Cameron leaned forward and said in a husky voice, “Well then, pull it out.”
House grinned, slid the cardboard out and gripped it in the middle, preparing to tear it in half. But instead of the gray, blank piece he expected, words leapt out at him:
House stared at the envelope, once again feeling that something in his gut that made him wonder how he deserved her, but then rallied. “Because nothing says romance like diesel fuel and destruction. I hope you didn’t expect anything from me.”
Her smile became a little sad. “No. I just wanted to get this for you. Something you’d like. Call it temporary insanity.”
“Infection,” he corrected.
“Fine, infection,” she said, with a little bite to her tone. “I didn’t expect you to get me anything, I just wanted to do this, okay?”
House sat holding the tickets, not saying a word.
Cameron shook her head at him. “I’m going to change, call for take-out, will you?” She leaned forward to brush his lips lightly with hers and left before he could respond.
He sat there, fingering the tickets, and a slight smile twitched at the corner of his mouth.
Part Two
Notes: This happened because I wanted to buy those damned boxers but had to come up with a way for Cameron to give them to him that stayed in character. LOL Part two will post next week.