Monday Minis: Party!
“House!” Cameron whispered. “Look who came!”
House turned and smirked. “angelpi74. I’ve really got to thank her for your lingerie.” He spared Cameron a glance that stripped her where she stood. “Be right back.” He headed towards angelpi74 with a purposeful walk.
“Should you worry?” said Cuddy, holding a glass of wine.
Cameron laughed wickedly. “He’s going to badger her to find out what else I got from her. I hid the rest.” She eyed Cuddy. “Enjoying yourself?”
Cuddy smiled. “Definitely. Good food, good drinks, good people.” She turned too quickly, just catching her drink from spilling over, and walked away, barely missing the smirks and whispers of entity22 and delsilencio as they pondered how snookered she was.
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Cameron hugged jesmel and carried a gift-wrapped package into the bedroom. House followed. “What’s that?”
“jesmel wanted to bring a small housewarming gift for us. I told her it wasn’t necessary but she insisted it was.” Her brows quirked. “I’m not sure if I should be insulted or not.”
“Why?”
“She told me what it was. Go on, open it.” Cameron handed over the box.
House ripped the paper and snorted. “She insisted we needed condoms? I like the way she thinks.”
“You don’t think she was suggesting it would be bad for us to….” She hesitated.
“Procreate?”
“Well….”
House waved it off. “She was telling us to have more sex. Where did she go? I need to thank her.” He tossed the box back to her and walked out of the bedroom.
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“Psst.” House handed Cameron two drinks.
She looked at them. “Uh…thank you?”
“They’re not for you,” House hissed. “And if you say I did anything about them I’ll deny it.” He pointed at one. “That’s root beer for hilandmum. The other is sweet tea for hughville.”
Cameron smiled. “You had nothing to do with this.”
“Exactly! So why are you standing here when you should be a good little hostess dispensing drinks? Really, Cameron, what good are you?” He rolled his eyes.
“Good thing I’m great in bed then, isn’t it?” She turned with a little hip action, secretly grinning, and went to deliver the drinks.
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House intercepted Cameron near the bedroom again. He pointed. “Another gift? Did we say anything about gifts?”
“No.” Cameron sighed. “But everyone here brought one. And this,” she held up the slim package, “is something absolutely amazing.” She smiled.
“How do you know what everything is before unwrapping? Do you have x-ray vision? Am I naked before you?”
“You’re at half mast, aren’t you?” Cameron grinned and patted House’s cheek. “Everyone’s been telling me what they got us, I think they want to make sure we won’t be offended.”
“So, what did blueheronz get us?”
Cameron’s face lit up. “Oh, it’s an amazing story. She knew I wanted it and bound it by hand. It evokes Hemingway, and is called There is Nothing More Than This. I love the atmosphere and you will love the angst. It’s a win-win.”
“Me likey,” House decided. “But booze would have been good too.”
“Oh, we got that,” said Cameron. “apestaartje got us something very special, a bottle of Jenever from Belgium and a bottle of lager. She said they made her think of you.”
House snorted. “She would.”
“Why?”
“Because according to Wikipedia, drinking Jenever and following it with a glass of lager is called a headbutt.”
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“Why are you looking like that?” asked Wilson.
“Like what?” House said.
“Like the cat that ate the canary. What’s going on?”
House beckoned Wilson closer and discreetly pointed. “See over there? grooni brought her camera,” he said in a singsong voice. “I’m going to have so much ammunition for favors after tonight.”
Wilson watched as grooni took a few pics of Foreman getting wine on his tie as bahahumbug bumped into him. “That’s supposing she’ll give them to you.”
“She and I are buds! Besides, I’m not going to tell dieastra who took her dolls and spun them through the centrifuge. What the hell is Stargate SG-1, anyway?”
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Cameron leaned over to grab a slice of pizza just as Kelly reached around her to get another cup of soda. “Hey, Kelly,” Cameron grinned. “It’s a bit of a squeeze, isn’t it?” She straightened up, bumping into her.
“I don’t know, I think it’s just right,” smirked House, coming up behind Kelly. Keeping her tightly sandwiched between Cameron and himself, he murmured in her ear, “You need ice,” and plopped a few ice cubes into her cup before moving away. He balanced his cane on the floor. “I heard a rumor that someone likes ghost stories. Maybe someone will tell one later.”
“About a haunted ‘house?’” teased Cameron, nudging Kelly.
House rolled his eyes and went to get a beer.
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Chase leaned over to Foreman. “What is house_walls doing with House’s laptop?”
Foreman shrugged. “House gave her permission to put a wallpaper on it.”
“What, something pornographic? Cameron would flip.”
“How do you know it’s not of them wearing matching sweaters or something?”
“Right. House suddenly turned into a sap. If it’s like that, I’ll…” Chase looked around the room for inspiration. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll spend an hour with meltzner and offer to give her a massage.”
“meltzner? She really likes annoying you.” Foreman thought a moment and nodded. “Done.”
“Yeah? And what will you bet if I’m right?”
Foreman thought a moment. “If I’m wrong…I’ll request that we let ally_cam sit in on the next DDx-I’ll tell House it’s because I lost this bet and he’ll have a lot of reasons to mock me.”
Chase said slowly, “You must be pretty sure. Let’s go look.”
They weaved through the crowd until they could see house_walls working diligently on the screen.
“Damn.”
Foreman smirked. “Don’t forget to talk to meltzner.”
Chase grumbled, “I need another drink.”
They walked past ally_cam who glared at house_walls’ wallpaper.
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“Problem?” House said.
“A logistics problem,” replied Cameron. “I’d like another slice of mushroom pizza but it’s a bit crowded over there.”
House surveyed the table. “Looks like ladyofshallott06, bitsofchat, and 0penhearts are after the pepperoni, which is what I want.” He tapped his cane meaningfully.
“Don’t you dare,” hissed Cameron. “Hitting them in front of these witnesses will get us a lawsuit even you can’t get out of.”
“Relax, I’ve got a much better idea.” A smirk crossed his face as he elbowed his way through the crowd towards the pizzas, Cameron following from a distance with a fixed smile on her face.
“Hey!” A yell of outrage came from the area but she couldn’t see what had happened.
“House, you put that cane up between my legs!”
Cameron closed her eyes.
“It must have slipped,” said House, reaching in front of 0penhearts for a slice of pizza.
Cameron moved forward, accidentally pushing ladyofshallott06 against House. He staggered, then grabbed ladyofshallott06 close for balance. He stared at Cameron, who snickered at the expression on his face.
“Cameron!”
Cameron turned and headed towards Cuddy.
Cuddy said, “Have you seen lyly_hameron? Pediatrics needs another physical therapist and I heard she was available.”
Chase edged up. “I think she’s in the hallway getting some air. I’ll get her.”
Cuddy stared after him. “Damn, I hope he’s not going to try and get her.”
Cameron shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, it’s not like he has any staying power.”
Cuddy choked over her wine and Cameron helpfully patted her on the back before moving on.
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In one corner, House glared at renwah. “You’ve been bitching about white chocolate not being real chocolate all night.” He gestured to ewokmonster. “And you’ve been just as bad.” He nodded to Foreman across the room who then flipped a switch on the cd player and “Secret Agent Man” cut through the smooth jazz that had been playing.
“House!” called Cameron in exasperation.
“I wasn’t anywhere near it!” He hollered virtuously. House grinned, watching Cameron begin to lecture an apologetic Foreman, and surreptitiously slipped chocolate bars onto ewokmonster and renwah’s plates.
“That better be the end of that. And next time I’m stating no pets,” he muttered as he walked around renwah’s dogs, Mojo and Hershey, lying meekly on the floor with plates of food and water by them. He glared at 2tailswaggin standing innocently nearby. “No dogs,” House stated to her firmly. He studiously ignored the sound of two tails beating the floor in friendliness and glared at 2tailswaggin once more for good measure before slipping a bar of chocolate onto her plate as well and walking away.
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A rare grin lit Foreman’s face and he chuckled.
Wilson nudged Foreman. “What’s so funny?”
Foreman just shook his head. “You’ve gotta give him props for trying.”
Wilson followed Foreman’s line of sight. “Chase? He’s talking to everytimeyougo. So? Ohhh,” he said in comprehension as he watched Chase run a hand through his hair and lean forward suggestively.
“He won’t take no for an answer. Uh oh.”
They both flinched as everytimeyougo splashed water on Chase’s expensive trousers. mika30 and emeliec stood nearby, hiding giggles behind their hands.
“When will he remember that he needs to get them high first?” tsked House as he came up alongside of Wilson.
Cameron caught what House had said as she approached them from Foreman’s side. “What?” She followed their gaze and zeroed in on mika30 and emeliec first, noting their grins, then found the source of their amusement frantically blotting his crotch with a napkin. Cameron laughed.
House glanced at Cameron with a self-satisfied smile and walked off to get everytimeyougo another glass of water.
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Wilson tapped Cameron on the arm. She looked where he indicated. House stood in a corner, glowering at the dessert table.
“I’m on it,” she said tersely. She smiled and laughed her way to where he stood, brooding menace in his stance.
“House? What’s wrong?”
“Look at them,” he growled. “oceanic_flight, thinkingsoul, and imacartwright are eating all our sex toys!”
“House!” Panicked, Cameron looked around but everyone seemed to be ignoring them.
“Well, they are! They’re not going to leave anything for us to play with!”
“I’ll buy more!” said Cameron quickly.
He grinned evilly. “Not soon enough.”
He strode up to them and whispered something that made them pause and back away from the table.
“What do you think he said?” asked Wilson, coming up behind her.
Cameron sighed. “You know what? I don’t want to know.” She took the drink he offered and downed it. “Hey, there’s ashiabug26! She finally got off shift. You know, her promotion to ER nursing supervisor was a good move.”
Wilson smiled in her direction but then paled when he saw who was with her. “You invited pandorashollow?”
“Yes, why?”
“I take it you don’t know that she got the cable guys to divert Stan-the-Coma-Guy’s television to play episodes of The x-Files instead of General Hospital when House showed up to watch.”
Cameron grinned. “Are you kidding? His howls of outrage were the high point of the week!” Her mouth thinned. “He really deserved it after what he did to cassandra_elise. I’m just glad she decided to come tonight.” Her gaze wandered to another part of the room.
Wilson stared at her suspiciously. “It wasn’t pandorashollow, was it.”
Cameron winked.
“Aren’t you afraid he’ll take it out on her?”
“Nope.”
“He knows it was you?”
“Nope. But he knows it wasn’t her.” She patted him on the arm and went to mingle.
Wilson glared at the soda in his hand.
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“House!” Wilson waved him towards the kitchen, his eyes a little wild. He pulled on House’s arm, squeezing past greenescrubs. “Excuse us, sorry,” Wilson said as they pressed against her. “Wait-I think I got my watch caught in your bracelet.” He unhooked the chain as House leaned impatiently at her back, held in place by the crowd. “There we go.” He smiled at her but then his eyes shifted to the rest of the room and he continued into the kitchen.
“What’s your problem?” House said, as he pulled more soda from the fridge.
“They’re out to get me!” Wilson took a long pull on his beer. “I got cornered by katakombs-I swear she felt me up leaning over to get a napkin! And jellybean728 pinched my butt!”
“Again, what’s your problem?”
“I’ll tell you what it is!” A new voice entered the fray.
House rolled his eyes.
“If anyone’s going to feel you up or pinch your butt, it’s going to be me,” said Cuddy, suiting actions to words as she patted Wilson on his rear end.
Wilson gulped. “Cuddy, you’ve had a lot to drink and-”
“No shit, Sherlock,” she leaned against him but frowned heavily at House. “Wait, that’s you. Sherlock. Ha.” She shook her head muzzily. “That’s wrong, I don’t want you.”
“Glad to hear it,” said House with a grin. He was mentally stacking up the clinic-free weeks he would win from this night. Cameron was right, the party was a fabulous idea.