On being shut out...
It's so strange. Some days I just can't do anything, even though I know I have stuff that needs to be done. Practicing for a bunch of recording sessions I have coming up, finding a job, cleaning my room, all that stuff... but I just sit here and do nothing and I don't get it.
In case you were wondering, I didn't make it into the Bucket of Soul. I'm a little sad about that, mostly because of what the rejection letter said. It wasn't all "Oh hey, we found someone else, thanks for playing" - which would have been absolutely fine with me, because I knew I played my best at the audition, and if someone was better than me, then more power to them - but it was "Oh hey, you were easily the best person who auditioned, but this other guy actually owns a Hammond B3 and a Leslie so we got him instead." And... I don't know. I guess that's valid; it's not my band, and I'm not the one making the decisions. But part of me - probably the irrational part - can't help but thinking it's because I'm a girl trying to be a side player in a business that's still not ready for it. The band is run by a girl, it's true, but a girl fronting a band is way different than a girl backing it. I'll probably front my own group at some point in time. Right now, I just don't feel ready for it in terms of my songwriting and leadership skills. If I'm going to do something as important as fronting a group, I'm sure not going to do it half-assedly or unconfidently. And... dammit, I LIKE side playing! I would love to be in two or three groups playing music I love, and which are led by competent people who know how to write songs and how to lead a band and create a good stage show and book gigs and make us be successful. Pipe dreams, right? And for those of you who were wondering: yes, Greedy Cherry is doing well, and is fronted by a competent dude, all the members are committed to the project, and I am a side player in it playing music I enjoy. However... that is one group, and right now it's a long way off from paying my rent.
Anyways. That email is part of what's contributing to my more frequent lethargy, I think. Which SUCKS because it's just an email and just another band and there will be plenty more emails and plenty more bands... grar. Add that to the homesickness and you have a very lazy, listless Erin.
I need to SNAP OUT OF IT. Sheesh!
In case you were wondering, I didn't make it into the Bucket of Soul. I'm a little sad about that, mostly because of what the rejection letter said. It wasn't all "Oh hey, we found someone else, thanks for playing" - which would have been absolutely fine with me, because I knew I played my best at the audition, and if someone was better than me, then more power to them - but it was "Oh hey, you were easily the best person who auditioned, but this other guy actually owns a Hammond B3 and a Leslie so we got him instead." And... I don't know. I guess that's valid; it's not my band, and I'm not the one making the decisions. But part of me - probably the irrational part - can't help but thinking it's because I'm a girl trying to be a side player in a business that's still not ready for it. The band is run by a girl, it's true, but a girl fronting a band is way different than a girl backing it. I'll probably front my own group at some point in time. Right now, I just don't feel ready for it in terms of my songwriting and leadership skills. If I'm going to do something as important as fronting a group, I'm sure not going to do it half-assedly or unconfidently. And... dammit, I LIKE side playing! I would love to be in two or three groups playing music I love, and which are led by competent people who know how to write songs and how to lead a band and create a good stage show and book gigs and make us be successful. Pipe dreams, right? And for those of you who were wondering: yes, Greedy Cherry is doing well, and is fronted by a competent dude, all the members are committed to the project, and I am a side player in it playing music I enjoy. However... that is one group, and right now it's a long way off from paying my rent.
Anyways. That email is part of what's contributing to my more frequent lethargy, I think. Which SUCKS because it's just an email and just another band and there will be plenty more emails and plenty more bands... grar. Add that to the homesickness and you have a very lazy, listless Erin.
I need to SNAP OUT OF IT. Sheesh!