Do you think
We see the contradictions of the social world in which Nate lives-a world in which women are outspoken and independent, and yet, confusingly, seem to wilt at the slightest sign of disinterest from a man; a world where men can delay commitment infinitely if they prefer, while women begin to feel constrained by time. Or, as Nate puts it, surveying with chagrin the gradual change in the women of his acquaintance, now that they’re in their thirties:
When he was twenty-five, everywhere he turned he saw a woman who already had, or else didn’t want, a boyfriend. Some were taking breaks from men to give women or celibacy a try. Others were busy applying to grad school, or planning yearlong trips to Indian ashrams, or touring the country with their all-girl rock bands.… But in his thirties everything was different. The world seemed populated, to an alarming degree, by women whose careers, whether soaring or sputtering along, no longer preoccupied them. No matter what they claimed, they seemed, in practice, to care about little except relationships.
The pleasures of this novel-its lucidity and wry humor-are mixed with the sting of recognizing the essential unfairness of the sexual mores of our moment: after years of liberated fun, many women begin to feel terribly lonely when realize they want a commitment; men, who seem to have all the power to choose, are also stuck with an unasked-for power to inflict hurt.
read the review or the book (Adelle Waldman’s “The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.”)