When I was young it seemed like life was so wonderful

[sharnee]

I am so maad at the moment. I just want to cry but its not happening because I so upset and pissed off and confused and I just want to sit down and have someone hug me and tell me everythings going to be alright but I can't and I hate it. I feel so displaced at the moment. In singapore I just wanted to come home and I love it here, its just I had two years to build it up to be this haven where everythings good, what I didn't have in my mind was oppressive parents. The amount of times I've been so close to walking out is just uncountable. I hate it. Like today mum goes to me walk the dog and I'm like yeah I'm just writing this Email to this guy that she asked me to write to and she wouldn't believe me and had to walk over and read the fucking thing herself. and Im like thanks for the trust mum and shes like I trust you when you don't lie to me and I'm like which means you don't trust me and she just walked off. It pisses me off so fucking much. I fucked up once two fucking years ago and she still doesn't fucking trust me.

I'm going to see sam tomorrow. He seems so different, usually he's such an independant guy and now hes so lifeless. He's getting perkier tho.

I'm too pissed off to write any more.