PArents ARE M I A
I have this fucken tear running down my cheek.i dont know why but i have a great sense of hate.Hate for this hate for that hate for every single living thing.I dont care what it is, i just want to hate it.My parents are missing and i cant get a hold of them.. they were supposed to be home around 840 and its fucken 1121 i hope everything is okay. i hope no one is hurt I really hope everything is okay, me so nervous scared and i hate this feeling i want to cry. Cry my tears dry.Last time this happen i found out that .dont want to talk about hurts to much,. im not ready... i dont want to know what happen.This fucker my brother is worrying about if his "girlfriend" is on.This idiot can get thru is head that his "girlfriend" has a boyfriend and he still think they are boyfriend and girlfriend ... which by the wat they were never. Poor Brother.. one little broken heart...this is not the time to worry if she is on or not... this is big, my parents are old timers and they never stay out this late...ahhh me calling like crazy but they dont answer. Right now i have a broken smile. Broken eyes that wont stop tearing.My eyes hurt from this tears,Me just want to be happy. me just want to lay and sit and just like sit there by myself.Why do i think negative.. everything i do or say is negative.Or i think its negative. but im sure is not negative..argh im so blah. i swear. sometimes i just feel i could drop my face from the edge of the world. dont worry people im not going to commit suicide.or i just feel like sitting on a dunkin boot so u could drop me in cold water so i'll get a clue whats going on. blah blah blah... u know how im feeling right now.the worst of the worst... is not cuz people is cuz me myself and i thinking negative about myself me and i and this other kid by the name of Mando. u might know him. There is such great heights to my negatively. u could climb the mt everest and still wont reach to my negatively.(imagery) AH sometimes i just make myself laugh. sometimes i;ll burst in laughter for no particular reason.It pisses me off.In memory.let me tell a short lil cute petit story (pardon my french)
Once upon time there was this kid. He was a loner for most of his high school career.Then one day he became the most talked about kid in school.For something he didnt do.He lived happily ever after even tho he was a fake.People didnt get to know the real him the real kid evry one knew him as the kid in the fake stories...so he died and went to hell happily ever after.
FIN
Lol so yeah as u can read i been having mood swings. Fuck . why .?? good question. Mando is like this . one day is he feeling happy and bouncy and then aw of sudden he is down in the dumps..poor kid .or maybe yeah. cant explain it. JUmp in my window tap until i open one eye so i could see ur smile.waking up seeing ur smile is the best feeling in the world.
I just want to run thru the halls of my high school.. i want to scream from the top of my lungs. i just found out there is no such thing as the real world just a lie to get rise above.
Do u have the time to listen to me wine , about nothing and evrything at once. iam one of those neurologic foels, neurologic to the bone. no doubt about it ... sometimes i give myself the creeps/ sometimes my mind plays tricks on me it all keeps adding i]think im cracking up or i just paranoid.
Maybe my shadows are like statues.There is no such thing as second shadows. i guess what i cant be is just another shadow in my memory.So easily everything becomes a shadow, thinking about the story. it wll buried it with the rest of the shadows.*elevator music*
Tiny story made out of ashes.Burn page by page by page.
OKay Now iM fucken worried like fuck so im writting crap out my ass... nervous when im really nervous i will write about non sense... just like every other entry in this xanga.NErvouse break down.. im losing my mind seriously... im like paranoid thinking for the worst which is not good.. ergh ljfuasdyfsjledhfsiodgfasjldhfaiyoegffhhshdkjshdfjlshdflashdgfuiHKLPJDLKashgdygsdKLASHKJASHGDasigdkjhdlashgiusagdkjshdklhfuiefhdhfyig
YEAH THAT IS WHAT ON MY MIND RIGHT NOW !!!!!! cANT STOP THINKING MUST STOP WORRING AND THINK ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE...AND HAPPY AND FULL OF JOY.okay is sort of working but not really.stil thinking okay fuck shit... seriously people if my parents dont show up by 1 im going to go search far and wide for them im going to call the cops and tell them they are M I A ...missing in action...OMg fucken shit my is my itunes playing "kiss me" by sixpence none the richer,,,, but the song is so beautiful... and charming it makes u fall more in love...
im going to let it play till the end...
never feel unwanted.counting down the days till i see u again.